


Bad End of the World

by silkarc



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: (And they do), (but it's a dream - not actual noncon), Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Angst and Porn, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hate Sex, Idiots in Love, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Obsessive Behavior, Oral Sex, Orgasm, POV Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Self-Harm, Simultaneous Orgasm, Smut, Strap-Ons, Useless Lesbians, Vaginal Fingering, catradora, it's not murder if it's gay, murder girlfriend AU, seriously this one hurts, they still win in the end, they'd kill for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25961962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkarc/pseuds/silkarc
Summary: A darker tale which explores the more obsessive side of Catra and Adora's relationship.From the moment Catra decides to corrupt Adora's sword, things take a turn for the worse. What if she were by herself and things had really gotten out of hand that day? What if corrupted She-Ra took things just a bit too far, almost killing Catra in the process?Catra's mistake ultimately forces them together. With the absence of any other positive influence around them, the love they feel for one another - the one good, pure thing that they have - soon becomes blinding. The odds might be stacked against them, but they'll forge a future for themselves, no matter the cost.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 1104
Kudos: 1512
Collections: Shera





	1. Seeing Red

**Author's Note:**

> Cover credit: [BewilderedBird](https://twitter.com/BewilderedBird/status/1297177292331003905)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

“Fuck,” Catra muttered, as she hid behind the west wall of the small horde outpost. She ran her hand over the various cuts and bruises that She Ra had inflicted on her, and winced at a particularly nasty gash on her left knee.

In hindsight, she realised it hadn’t been the best idea to intentionally corrupt Adora’s sword. She scowled to herself, because she knew that she was usually smarter than this. But when it came to fighting Adora, Catra knew better than anyone that she didn’t always think things through properly.

“Hey, Catra,” She Ra said, as her eerie, red eyes peered over the top of the wall. The sight of her caused an icy knot to twist in Catra’s gut.

She gritted her teeth and she _ran_ , limping away as She Ra’s towering form stomped after her. But she didn’t stand a chance. She Ra was on her in moments, a heavy hand pressed to the back of her neck, forcing her to the floor, the impact knocking the wind from her lungs. Catra choked and struggled to breathe, and she knew that she was done for.

“What’s wrong?” She Ra asked. She grabbed one of Catra’s arms, and spun her around, so that she was forced to look into those awful, terrifying eyes. “You normally fight back, Catra.”

“You’re not usually this strong,” Catra grunted, as she wiped blood from her lips and then tried to shuffle away. “Just pack it in, She Ra. You won.” 

She Ra’s lips stretched into a manic grin, and she raised her sword, then sliced it towards Catra’s leg. She barely avoided the attack, but then She Ra struck again, and this time her attack landed, slicing at least an inch deep across Catra’s left thigh.

“Adora, please!” Catra said, shuffling backwards. “Please… just stop…”

But She Ra didn’t stop. She lunged for Catra with a large hand, grabbed both of her ankles, and scooped her up until she was dangling upside-down. Blood streamed down Catra’s leg and dripped onto the floor, and She Ra laughed, a chilling, emotionless sound, before she leaned towards the fresh wound, and roughly stroked her tongue against it.

“Argh!” Catra yelled, wincing.

She Ra licked her blood-stained lips. “Hmm. I always wondered what you’d taste like.”

And then, without any warning Catra was slammed into the ground, hard enough to crack her ribs. It made her feel dizzy, and her vision began to blur.

“A-Adora,” she whimpered, struggling to breathe. “S-stop.”

But still, She Ra didn’t stop. She stamped a foot down beneath Catra’s right knee, and then grabbed her ankle, tugging it.

“What are you- ARGH!”

There was a series of loud _cracks_ , and Catra looked down, finding jagged bone stuck out of her leg in a bloody, broken mess. The sight of it shook her to her core… and then she felt it, felt the red-hot agony bursting through her leg, and she _screamed_ until her throat was raw, until she almost blacked out. And she actually wanted it, that blissful, final end to it all. At least then she could rest.

“Catra…” 

It was Adora’s voice, but back to her usual, gentler tone.

Catra gritted her teeth and pried her eyes open, and felt only a small sense of relief when she saw brilliant blue eyes staring right back.

She Ra was visibly trembling from head to toe. She peered down at her red-veined arm, and then looked at Catra, appearing mortified. She covered her mouth and choked out a loud sob, then threw her sword to the ground and fell to her knees, her form shimmering down to its normal size.

Adora clambered towards Catra, but Catra hissed. “S-stay away,” she said, using her only remaining strength to shuffle backwards, leaving a bloody trail across the floor.

“Catra, please,” Adora said, reaching a hand out.

“I SAID STAY AWAY!” Catra screamed. She flailed her arms wildly, scratching at any part of Adora that came close.

Adora looked down at the fresh wounds on her arm, and then up at Catra. “I’m… I’m so sorry. Catra, I don’t… I didn’t.”

Catra’s reinforcements arrived at that precise moment, a fact she was all too grateful for. A horde APC pulled up just behind her, followed by a few bots. “Just stay the fuck away from me, She Ra,” she said, spitting out the words.

“Should we capture her?” Scorpia asked, as she carefully lifted Catra up, then placed her onto a stretcher.

“No. In fact I never want to see her again.”

“Shit, she sure did a number on you,” Lonnie said, taking one end of the stretcher, while Kyle took the other. 

Catra felt herself begin to lose consciousness, and the last thing she saw was Adora’s face, tears streaming down her cheeks while she stared down at her own hands. Then she doubled over, and started to retch.

 _Yeah, you make me sick too_ , Catra thought, before she blacked out.

\--

For Catra, the next few days were hell. From the surgery, which left her with giant metal pins in her leg, to the sympathetic gazes all around, making her want to throw up, to the constant pain shooting up her leg and her thigh and even her hip. The pain that never seemed to get any better, that she had to endure every single minute of every single day.

 _Because why the fuck would they have strong painkillers in the horde?_ She thought. _Why bother, when we’re all just fodder, and literally nobody gives a shit_. 

“I’m sure you can get those floors cleaner, Force Captain,” Shadow Weaver said, narrowing her eyes at Catra. “Besides, aren’t magicats supposed to heal quickly? Or is this just something else that you’re surprisingly incompetent at?”

“Everything else healed, didn’t it?” Catra said, scoffing, “I’d like to see you do any better.”

“I’ve seen other magicats recover from far worse, and in far less time, too.”

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” Catra hissed. Then she accidentally caught the mop handle against the thick cast surrounding her leg, and she yelped in pain.

“You’re pathetic…”

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you try doing this with one leg!?”

“I assigned you menial tasks so you could at least _try_ to make yourself useful,” Shadow Weaver said, arching an eyebrow. “But if I had it my way we’d just get rid of dead weight like you.”

“Haven’t you got anything better to do? Like capture Adora so that she can kiss your ass?”

“Watch your tone with me, Catra,” Shadow Weaver said, as she loomed over her with obvious, deadly intent. “You may somehow have Lord Hordak’s favour, but it won’t last long. Especially once he finds out that you _could_ have captured Adora, yet failed to do so.”

“Who… who told you that?” Catra asked, folding her ears down. She swallowed thickly.

“So it is true, then,” Shadow Weaver said, her eyes narrowing to slits. “It matters not. Your days here are numbered, so I’d enjoy them while they last.”

“Right, _enjoy_ ,” Catra said, before she hobbled around with her mop and pretended to continue cleaning. The moment that Shadow Weaver was out of earshot she screamed in frustration and flung the mop across the room, then fell back against the wall and sunk down onto her ass, where she sat for a while. _What the fuck am I supposed to do_ , she thought, feeling miserable.

Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, Scorpia turned up. “Hey! Need a hand? Or I mean, a pincer.” Scorpia asked, crouching down and smiling.

 _What the fuck is there to smile about?_ Catra thought, sighing. “What do you _want_ , Scorpia?”

“Well I’m all done for the day, so I thought I’d come see if you needed help with anything. You know, with your leg and all.”

“I’m fine!” Catra snapped.

Scorpia sighed deeply, and stood up. “Okay. Well, just buzz me on the comms if you need anything,” she said, tapping the badge on her chest.

“Yeah, sure.”

\--

Two weeks later all but two of the pins had been removed, and a smaller cast had been fixed to her leg. But Catra was still sore, and bruised, and according to Shadow Weaver, very much dead weight. It didn’t help that she wasn’t sleeping, in fact she knew full well that lack of sleep would definitely impair her latent healing abilities, but that didn’t stop her from doubting herself.

 _Maybe Shadow Weaver’s right_ , she thought, glumly. _Any other magicat would probably be over this by now._

It was mainly the constant, aching pain that kept her awake every night. But even when she passed out from sheer exhaustion, she was plagued by the same, awful nightmares. Those burning-red, horrifying eyes, boring down on her. Those giant, monstrous hands, punching her, bruising her, grabbing her and breaking her apart.

“Ah, there you are, Catra,” Shadow Weaver said, appearing in higher spirits than usual. “I have a surprise for you...”

“Oh, great,” Catra said, as a feeling of dread crept down her spine. _Hordak’s been listening to the old hag after all_ , she thought. She hadn’t had an audience with him for some time now, and she felt sure she was about to lose her force captain status.

“Follow me.”

“Seriously?” Catra asked, before she limped behind Shadow Weaver, and they both headed toward the prison.

What she didn’t expect to find was Adora, sitting inside one of the cells. Catra watched, stunned, as Adora jumped to her feet and rushed forwards.

“Catra!”

Catra hissed, her fur standing on end as she leapt away from the threat. Her leg was in no shape to handle such a feat, and she yelped in pain, then fell over, clutching her hands around her plaster cast.

“I’ll leave you two to catch up,” Shadow Weaver said, before she turned around, and walked away.

 _What the hell is she up to?_ Catra thought, growling. She tried to straighten her leg out, then grimaced when a fresh wave of pain shot up though the limb. 

“Catra-”

“Shut up!” Catra said, scowling. Eventually, the pain became a little more bearable, so she stared Adora down, and gritted her teeth. “Why the fuck are _you_ here?” 

Adora sat down and crossed her legs. “I… I came back,” she said, appearing remorseful.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” Catra asked, batting her tail around. “You mean you actually let them capture you?”

Adora shrugged. “I did. I just walked right in.”

“WHY?”

“I… I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to learn how to heal. And I finally figured it out! But… Shadow Weaver took my sword, so now I can’t-”

“Ugh. What are you going _on_ about,” Catra asked, as she slowly, carefully stood up. “Healing what? Healing who?”

“Well,” Adora said, the sides of her brows lowering. “You.”

Catra stepped closer to the cage, and peered down. She felt bile rise in her stomach just at the sight of Adora, and twisted her face into a grimace. “Well maybe it wouldn’t be a problem if you hadn’t snapped my leg in the first place, nevermind cracking a few ribs.”

“I… I remember it, you know. All of it,” Adora said, pulling her knees to her chest. “I can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me feel sick.”

Catra scowled, and whipped her tail around. “I’m sure that must be awful for you.”

“No, that’s not what I’m trying to say at all! I just… the fact I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and about you… made me realise something. Something that should have been obvious-”

“That you’re a piece of shit?”

“I might be!” Adora said, quickly standing to her feet. She pressed her palms against the green energy field, and met Catra’s fierce glare without flinching. “But, I…”

“I’m getting bored, Adora,” Catra said. She took a step back and yawned loudly, in an almost desperate attempt to hide how much her body was trembling. _I’m not scared of her_ , she thought, despite all of the hairs behind her neck rising. _She doesn’t even have her sword. She can’t do shit to me_.

“Catra, I love you! I think I always have! That’s why I came back, but I… I wanted to at least know how to fix this first.”

“You... hah!” Catra said, snorting out a laugh while raising her eyebrows. “What the fuck, Adora. You’re so full of shit. And I’m done with this, so… bye.”

“Catra, wait!”

“Rot in the cell for all I care, though knowing you, you’ll soon be kissing Shadow Weaver’s ass all over again.”

Catra limped away, and forced herself to ignore Adora’s continued pleas, forced herself to not turn around.

Once she was far enough away to not hear that awful voice anymore, she breathed a sigh of relief. Then she remembered what Adora had said, and she slammed her fist into the wall, cracking the plaster. _What the fuck_ , she thought. _What the actual fuck? She comes back, after all this time, after almost killing me, and starts spouting absolute horseshit?_

“Fuck you, Adora,” she muttered.

She limped back to her room, flopped onto her bed, and then stared up at the ceiling, deep in thought. _Maybe tonight I’ll actually get some sleep_ , _now that I know how pathetic she is, locked away in that cell._

Then she gulped thickly at a sudden realisation. Shadow Weaver would definitely let Adora out at some point. And then, Adora would be walking around freely, coming and going as she pleased. Catra hated how much that thought terrified her. She hated feeling like she was in danger.

“Why the fuck did you come back!” she exclaimed, splaying her fingers through her fringe, and blinking away tears. But then, a sense of calm washed over her at a sudden, obvious realisation…

 _I’m going to have to kill her, before she kills me_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wounded Catra art, [Marin](https://twitter.com/BewilderedBird/status/1297177292331003905)!  
> Thank you for the 1st comic, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1296873146977484800)!  
> Thank you for the 2nd comic, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1296167212068241409)!


	2. It Should Have Been Obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Adora**

**__**_Okay, that wasn’t the best start_ , Adora thought, sighing as she sat down on the prison bed. She rested her elbows on her knees. _Did I really think it’d be that easy? That she’d say it back? Wow, I’m every bit as arrogant as she thinks I am._

“I’m an idiot,” she said, hunching over and threading her fingers into her fringe. Catra had appeared to be in so much pain, and the thought that she’d caused it made Adora’s chest ache. _I should have been able to control myself_ , she thought, as tears sprung to her cheeks _._ She remembered it all so clearly, and she wished more than anything that she couldn’t. Especially the part where she snapped Catra’s leg. She’d never heard Catra _scream_ like that before, not even when Shadow Weaver had punished her with the worst, most torturous magic.

_It shouldn’t have had to go that far for me to snap to my senses,_ Adora thought, choking out a sob. _I’m not surprised she doesn’t believe me, because I wouldn't either. Not after all that_.

She rolled onto her side on the bed and faced the wall, closing her eyes. But she knew that as usual, she wouldn’t find sleep. And she was right. No sooner had she started to doze off, than she saw red, and she curled herself into a tight ball, feeling nauseous at the memories. Her fist, thudding into Catra’s chest, sending her flying into a wall. Her sword, slicing down, drawing blood. Her hand, picking Catra up as though she were weightless, and worse still, her tongue, as it stretched deeply into the wound-

“Adora…”

The voice sent a chill down Adora’s spine. She half-opened one eye, and peered down at Shadow Weaver. “What do you want? I already told you, I’m not here for you.”

“Do you really think she’ll accept you? That you can ever be her _friend_ , after what you did?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“If you are truly back, you cannot avoid me forever. You _need_ me, Adora.”

“Why don’t you bring my sword here, and I’ll show you exactly how much I need you,” she snapped, sitting upright.

“A threat? Towards _me?_ ” Shadow Weaver asked, her eyes widening. “Why Adora, it seems you’ve grown a backbone in your year-long absence.”

Adora sighed and shook her head, then laid back down and closed her eyes. “Stand there as long as you want. I’m going to sleep.”

“I know you can’t sleep, Adora,” Shadow Weaver said. She laughed as she walked away from the cell. “I’ll be here, when you change your mind.”

Adora waited until she felt sure Shadow Weaver was long gone, then grabbed her pillow and held it to her face, screaming into the fabric until her lungs were empty. When she had finished, she put it back behind her head and stared at the ceiling, panting. _What if this was a huge mistake?_ She thought. _What if I never get through to Catra, never reach her?_

She still couldn't believe it had taken her this long to realise exactly how she felt about Catra. And if not for Bow and Glimmer, she might never have realised at all...

\--

_**Two and a half weeks ago: Brightmoon Palace.** _

“Adora, what happened?” Glimmer asked, appearing frantic. “Why are you so upset? What happened to your arms?! You’re bleeding! Talk to me!!”

“I… I almost killed her!” Adora exclaimed, as she paced around the room, fisting her hair into knots. “I don’t know what to do! She was s-so hurt, and-”

“Who is, Adora?” Bow asked, grabbing onto Adora’s forearms, gently lowering them, and studying the shallow scratches. “Take a deep breath. Tell us everything.”

“I need to sit down,” Adora said, feeling suddenly dizzy.

She sat on the end of the mattress, and while Bow helped to dress her wounds, she told them everything. From the feeling of that awful poison coursing through her body, to the vicious, terrible acts of violence she’d inflicted upon Catra. How her whole body had betrayed her, making her do things she wouldn’t even dream of. And worst of all, how it felt to watch, helplessly, as she almost tore apart her oldest, dearest friend.

“I can still hear the way she screamed,” Adora said, her voice shaking. “She was so hurt, and so terrified, and it’s all my fault.”

“No it isn’t,” Glimmer said. She pulled her into a tight hug, where Adora choked out a sob. “You obviously weren’t yourself. And she’s getting medical attention, right now. I’m sure of it.”

“That’s right,” Bow said, joining the hug. “They took her away, right? So they’ll be fixing her up.”

“It won’t be enough,” Adora said, breaking away from the two of them, and standing up. “I need to go to Light Hope. I need to figure out how to heal people, properly. And then I need to go and fix this.”

“That could take a while, Adora,” Glimmer said, shaking her head. “And there’s no guarantee Light Hope will actually help you. You know she just uses you.”

“And don’t forget that magicats heal super fast,” Bow said, grinning. “She’ll be all better soon enough, all by herself.”

Adora felt infuriated by such a statement. “All better?” she asked, laughing to herself. “All… better?”

“Adora,” Glimmer said, reaching a hand out.

“Don’t you get it?” Adora yelled, threading her fingers tightly into her hair. “I snapped her leg in _half_! I… I saw the bone!”

“Okay, you need sleep,” Bow said, frowning. “Come on, Adora. You aren’t thinking straight.”

“Fine,” Adora said, gritting her teeth. 

“We can sleep in here too, if you want,” Glimmer said, appearing concerned.

“No, I’ll be… I’ll be okay,” she said, peering at the sword in the corner of the room, still tightly wrapped in her jacket. She wasn’t sure why she’d brought it back, but she supposed the small part of her that was still coherent at the time knew it would cause a lot of harm in the wrong hands. “But can you… can you take that thing away? Please?”

“Of course,” Bow said, picking it up, “we’ll run some tests and try to fix it.”

“Thanks,” Adora said. She pretended to yawn, and managed a false smile. “I’ll see you two in the morning.”

“Good night, Adora,” Glimmer said, pecking her on the cheek. “Promise you’ll shout if you need us.”

“I will. Night.”

\--

She couldn’t sleep, of course. And so, despite what her friends thought, an hour later Adora snuck out of her window and went to visit Light Hope. It came as no surprise that she was all too willing to let Adora re-commence training, albeit on her own terms.

\--

Adora endured two solid weeks of rigorous physical training before Light Hope would even consider her request, during which Bow and Glimmer had finally relented and agreed to support her on her mission. Bow had even managed to fix the sword, a fact that left Adora feeling torn since she needed it, but at the same time, never, ever wanted to have to use it again.

And so, finally, Light Hope began to teach her how to heal. But it was difficult, especially when the only thing Adora could really practise her new craft on was the sparse biomass that covered the mechanical spiders, or the occasional injured wildlife she may stumble across.

“You could practise on yourself, too,” Light Hope said, appearing as expressionless as always.

Adora frowned. “I… I hadn’t actually thought about that. Will it still work?”

“Of course. She Ra can heal anyone.”

“Oh,” Adora said, looking down at her arm. She didn’t give it a second thought, and drew her sword across it, wincing as a wide gash opened up.

“Good,” LIght hope said, peering down at the dripping wound. “Now, heal it.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Adora mumbled, before she closed her eyes, and dipped the end of the hilt of her sword to the wound. 

“As I keep saying, you will not get very far without She Ra.”

“I don’t need her!” Adora snapped, before returning her attention to the spell.

“You do. You are functioning at ten percent capacity otherwise. Do you not wish to heal your friend?”

“I…”

“If her injuries are as terrible as you claim, you will need your full power.”

Adora sighed, and closed her eyes, knowing full well that Light Hope was right. She reached the sword to the ceiling, her arm trembling. “For the honour of Greyskull.”

It was the first time she’d transformed since the incident, and instead of feeling powerful, she felt sick, and anxious. She no longer trusted herself in this larger, more muscular body at all, and when she drew the blade across her arm again, the pain was almost cathartic. So she did it a second, and then a third time, for good measure.

“She Ra,” Light Hope said, and for a fraction of a second, she almost appeared concerned. “One at a time is enough.”

“Fine,” Adora muttered. She hovered the flat of the blade above the deep gashes, and furrowed her brows. In no time at all, the wounds knitted together.

“Excellent. Now, repeat this exercise.”

\--

Later that night, Adora turned up at the palace like always. But this time she’d taken it too far, and she felt exhausted from the exertion of healing her own wounds, over and over, until she’d been unable to go on. And now she had a deep gash on her arm, which was leaking thick droplets of blood onto the palace floor.

_Oh no_ , Adora thought, looking down at the mess she was making. _Glimmer will kill me..._

Her knees suddenly gave way, and she fell unconscious before her body hit the floor.

\--

When she came to, she found a thick bandage wrapped around her arm, and Glimmer sitting on the end of her bed, appearing apprehensive.

“You’re awake,” Glimmer said, furrowing her brows. “Thank goodness! How are you feeling?”

“Hey! Look who brought pastries,” Bow said, appearing in the doorway. He walked over to the bed and placed the plate on the mattress, then stared up at Adora with a pleading expression.

“Um. Thanks,” Adora said, taking one of the smaller pastries. She took a tiny bite and chewed, but it was difficult to swallow. She knew better than anyone she needed food to get through this, though, and so she forced herself to take another, larger bite, and then another.

“Adora,” Glimmer said, resting a hand on the bed sheet above her leg. “We know you feel terrible about everything, but why are you taking this so far? You’re going to kill yourself at this rate.”

“I… I don’t know,” Adora admitted, her lower lip quivering. She wiped the crumbs from her mouth, and sighed, closing her eyes. “Honestly? I always felt bad for leaving Catra. It used to keep me up at night, sometimes. But this… this is something else.”

“So I see,” Glimmer said, peering at Adora’s bandaged arm. “Adora, what happened?”

Adora chewed her lip, and felt unsure how to answer without making them both assume she’d lost her mind. 

“Adora,” Bow said, kneeling by the side of the bed. “You can tell us anything. You know that, right?”

“I cut it,” she said, simply. She’d given up on thinking of even a half-believable excuse.

“Adora!” Glimmer exclaimed. “Why?!”

“So I could practise healing.”

A thick silence hung in the air, and Adora waited pensively for them to judge her, to accuse her of being insane. But it never came.

“We just can’t work out why you’re practically killing yourself over this,” Bow said, shaking his head. “You usually look after yourself better than this, Adora.”

“I can’t help it!” she snapped. “I just can’t… I can’t believe that I hurt her, so much. It makes me sick! I can’t sleep at all because I keep hearing her screams, over and over-”

“Hey, shh, it’s okay,” Glimmer said, putting the plate of pastries on the floor, and pulling Adora into an embrace. “You’re allowed to be upset. She’s your childhood friend, after all.”

“We both know it’s more than that,” Bow said. “Or at least, now we know for sure.”

“Bow, not now,” Glimmer hissed. 

“Wait,” Adora said, looking between the two of them, and sniffling. “What… what do you mean?”

Glimmer sighed, and shook her head. “We’ve… kind of suspected this for a while now. Adora,” she said, smiling sadly. “You’re in love with her. It’s kind of obvious, actually.”

Adora blinked her eyes rapidly, and her mind reeled at the words. “Huh?”

“Just look at how you’re acting!” Bow exclaimed. “Look at how this is eating you up!”

“No. No! I left her,” Adora said, furrowing her brows. “You can’t just leave someone you… you love…”

“You didn’t leave _her_ ,” Glimmer said, shaking her head. “You left a toxic, harmful environment, one that you no longer wanted to be in.”

“And you tried _so many_ times to get her to join us, don’t you remember?” Bow asked, wincing.

Glimmer nodded. “We lost count of how many times you tried, you know.”

Adora looked down at her hands, and felt her heart thudding loudly, and faster than usual. “But… I-”

“Bow and I have been talking about this,” Glimmer interrupted, taking Adora’s hands in hers. “We think you should go back to her. Who knows, if you can both work this out, maybe you can even change the place.”

“She means take over,” Bow said, grinning. “You have She Ra now, after all.”

“Don’t say that name!” Adora snapped. She’d lost count of how many times she’d almost thrown up after being forced to use that monstrosity earlier.

“Listen,” Glimmer said, tucking a few loose strands of Adora’s hair behind her ear. “We’re trying to say we’ll support you through _anything_ , Adora. Whatever it takes. We just can’t stand seeing you like this.”

Adora scrunched up her face, fighting back fresh tears. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No you’re not,” Glimmer said. “Love makes you do stupid things, that’s all.”

Bow furrowed his brows. “Can you at least stop cutting yourself, though?”

“Yes, because I finally mastered it,” Adora said, looking up at the other two. “So I… I think I’m ready. Or at least I will be once I rest.”

“And then?” Glimmer asked.

“And then I’ll go heal her.”

“And tell her how you _feel_?” Bow asked, pressing his fists to his cheeks, as his eyes sparkled.

“Um, no,” Adora said, frowning. “I’m not even sure it’s true. I just owe her this much.”

“Whatever happens, we’ll always be here for you,” Glimmer said, leaning forward to kiss Adora’s forehead. “You know that, right?”

“Thanks, guys,” Adora said. She nodded her head and forced herself to smile, then watched as Glimmer and Bow stood up and left the room, quietly closing the door behind themselves.

Adora threw her head back onto the pillows, finding that suddenly, she was barely able to keep her eyes open. Everything Bow and Glimmer had said made sense, and if she weren’t so damn tired she might even be able to work out if it were the truth.

\--

For the first time in days, Adora found sleep. She dreamt back to a certain, special night. One where she and Catra, both barely turned sixteen, had stayed up late, whispering to one another when they should have been sleeping.

\--

Catra turned her head to face Adora, and blinked slowly. “So, do you like anyone?” 

The abruptness of the question confused Adora. “What? I like lots of people, silly.”

“No, I mean like-like. As in, you get butterflies in your stomach.”

“Ohh,” Adora said, peering down at her hand, which was so close to Catra’s that she could almost feel it. “Well, yeah. I think there’s one person.”

“No way!” Catra said, quickly flipping onto her side, resting her head on her hand and her elbow on the mattress. “Who is it? You have to tell me.”

Adora gulped thickly. She felt her cheeks turn warm, and almost felt sick. It didn't help that Catra’s eyes were boring into her like this.

“Pfft, spit it out, idiot. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Well, she’s my best friend in the whole world,” Adora said, smiling shyly. “Her eyes are two different colours, and she has the cutest ears.”

“What?” Catra said, pricking her ears up, and blinking a few times with widened eyes. Her cheeks turned bright red, and she flopped onto her back again, staring at the bunk bed above while pouting. “Stop messing around, Adora.”

Adora noticed that Catra’s hand was resting beside hers again, as though testing her conviction. She gulped, feeling butterflies swarm through her gut as she slowly shifted her fingers, brushing them above Catra’s, until her whole hand was resting atop hers. “I wasn’t.”

Catra turned her head again, her amber and blue eyes appearing uncertain. “Really?”

“Really,” Adora said, squeezing her fingers around Catra’s hand, and smiling.

“Well, I-” Catra began.

“Cadets!” Shadow Weaver yelled, storming down the corridor. “Why are you awake at this time? Catra, get back to your own bed at once. And if I catch either of you doing anything like this again, I’ll send you _both_ to Beast Island. Do you understand?”

“We weren’t doing anything!” Catra said, balling her hands into fists.

Adora reached for her arm. “Catra, don’t…”

But Catra snatched her hand away, scowling at Adora. “You always take her side!”

_That’s not it at all_ , Adora thought, as tears welled up at her cheeks. _I just don’t want her to hurt you._

Catra grunted and leapt onto the top of the bunk bed, and the two of them never, ever spoke of that night again. In fact, for three weeks afterwards Catra barely even looked at Adora, and it took months until they became close friends again.

\--

The next morning, Adora woke up remembering the dream quite vividly, as well as everything that Bow and Glimmer had told her the night before. And it was like somebody had just switched on all the lights in her bedroom, or in this case, in her head.

_Of course I love her_ , she thought, still feeling the butterflies from the dream, swarming around her gut as though they’d never really left. _It explains… well, everything._

“I’m an idiot,” she muttered, shaking her head. She felt more determined than ever to not only heal Catra, but to go _back_ to her. To seek her forgiveness, no matter what it took. And then, to turn that whole damn place upside down if she had to, even if it meant using She Ra.


	3. Killing Me Softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

Catra didn’t sleep, not much at least. She woke up with a sore head, and her leg was throbbing more than usual. It took her a few moments to work out why. Then she growled to herself, remembering all too clearly how she’d walked into that prison and been caught completely off-guard when she’d noticed Adora’s steel-blue eyes, staring right at her. She’d never jumped away from something so quickly in her life, not that she’d had any time to feel embarrassed about it after landing on her injured leg.

“Great,” she said, before blowing out a long puff of air. She slowly, carefully stood to her feet, and growled at the pain that immediately shot up from her calf, to her hip. She was due for a checkup today, and all going well, the last two pins would be removed. 

“Ah, you’re finally awake,” Shadow Weaver said. She was looming in the doorway of Catra’s private quarters, uninvited as always.

“Don’t you ever knock?” Catra asked, frowning. “What do you want?”

“I just thought I’d ask how your little chat went. You must be glad that Adora’s back, surely?”

“Hah!” Catra laughed, and shook her head. “You seriously think I’d tell you anything?”

Catra stared the other woman down, wondering how much she knew. Sure, Shadow Weaver was aware that an out-of-control She Ra was the reason Catra got so messed up. But did she know that Catra had caused all of it in the first place? Did she have any idea how much Catra _hated_ Adora now, and if she did, could that be the reason she allowed Adora to stay here in the first place, just to torment her?

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were _scared_ of her,” Shadow Weaver said, and Catra barely managed to keep her expression neutral. “I can’t say I blame you. She did practically break you in half.”

“That was She Ra,” Catra said, shrugging, and hoping that the bluff would work. “And a corrupted version, too. Why would I be scared?”

“I saw how terrified you were when you jumped away from her cell,” Shadow Weaver said, chuckling quietly. “But you needn’t worry. She will remain in that cage until she learns to be _obedient_ again….”

Catra almost grimaced at the words, remembering all too clearly how Shadow Weaver had made Adora _obedient_ in the first place. One particular memory flashed through her mind, of when she was ten years old and had just had a run-in with Shadow Weaver.

\--

“This is all my fault,” Adora said, reaching for the mop that Catra was holding tightly. “Please, let me finish it off. And I’ll do it the rest of the week, too!”

“I’m fine!” Catra snapped, scowling and mopping the floor more vigorously. 

“Okay, then I’ll clean the toilets!”

“Already done,” Catra said, scrunching her nose up. Shadow Weaver’s most recent punishment meant she was stuck with toilet-cleaning duty for a whole week. Usually that wouldn’t be so bad, but when you had a nose as sensitive as hers was, it was brutal. “And I told you, I’m fine. So just… get out of my face.”

Adora’s lower lip wobbled, and Catra hated how awful it made her feel. Once again, Shadow Weaver had gotten into Adora’s head, and made her feel like this whole situation was somehow her fault. But it wasn’t. Catra had been the one to be disrespectful, yet Shadow Weaver had found a way to make Adora feel like she was to blame, and worse, that it was her job to keep Catra in check.

Adora looked down to the floor, and grabbed her own arm. “O-okay, I’ll… maybe see you later? If you’re not still mad at me?”

“Ugh, I’m not mad. Not at you, anyway,” Catra said, placing the mop against the wall, and opening her arms. 

Adora’s eyes lit up into, and a wide smile spread on her lips, just as she leapt into Catra’s embrace. Catra couldn’t pretend she didn’t like it too, especially when Adora got super clingy like this, and almost crushed the wind from her lungs. 

“You’re an idiot,” Catra said, ruffling Adora’s blonde hair, and messing up her hair poof. She held her a bit longer, and barely managed to stop herself from purring. Moments like these were scarce, because usually Adora would be the one offering comfort to Catra, not the other way around. This was just Catra giving back, for all those times Adora helped her cope after Shadow Weaver’s more violent forms of torture.

She was repaying the favour, and that’s _all_ it was.

\--

Catra frowned to herself, wondering why she thought of _that_ memory in particular. 

Shadow Weaver took a step forward. “No witty response?” 

“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” Catra said, limping up to Shadow Weaver, then barging past her, “and I’ve got shit to do. So bye.”

“One day you will regret speaking to me like that, Catra…”

Catra tried to ignore the chill those words sent down her spine. “I’m sure I will.”

 _At least Adora isn’t making it easy for Shadow Weaver_ , she thought, as she hobbled towards the infirmary. A small part of her thought she should let things play out, but a far bigger part, the part that remembered just how fragile she was compared to She Ra, was screaming at her to take action. 

\--

“Catra! Right on time,” the medic said, waving her over to the usual table. Catra had forgotten their name, again, and she didn't care to ask for it. She just hopped onto the table, and sat back against the single, thin pillow, looking at the grey-haired lizard woman expectantly. 

Catra took a deep breath. “Well?”

“How’s it feeling?”

“It’s… fine. Can you just get them out already.”

“If I remove the last pins, you’ll need to rest a few days afterwards. Do you think you can do that?”

“Whatever,” Catra said, knowing such a thing would never be possible with Shadow Weaver around. “Just make it quick.”

As usual, no pain relief was offered. Too expensive. Too wasteful. So Catra bit down onto the wooden mouthpiece she was offered, and held back her screams while her thoughts turned elsewhere. _Adora…_ she thought, frowning. _How the hell am I supposed to beat her when I’m in this state?_

She’d need a weapon. She considered using a small blaster or a bolt gun, but she’d never been all that great at aiming, always preferring to use her claws instead. And she knew she’d only get one shot, if she got a shot of at all.

“Fuck!” Catra’s voice was muffled behind the mouthpiece. She watched in morbid curiosity as one of the pins was unscrewed from her leg.

 _So, not a gun_ , she thought. _Come on, there’s got to be something_. She took deep, slow and shaking breaths while the nurse started to unwind the second pin. She’d need something portable, light, and fast, with longer range than her claws or a dagger. A sword, perhaps. But that would still involve toe to toe fighting, and Adora was bound to be way faster than her right now. 

“Okay, that’s the worst of it,” the nurse said, dropping the last of the screws into a metal tray with a loud _clunk_. “Now we just need to replace your cast.”

“Fine,” Catra said, passing the wooden mouthpiece back, complete with a few new bite marks. 

“You know the drill, right?” The lizard-woman asked, holding up a sharp surgical saw, the bright hospital lighting reflecting off the blade. 

Catra nodded, and watched the nurse go to work, sawing through the plaster cast. As always, it was painful. But Catra had experienced far worse. _Maybe I’ll just use a saw_ , she thought, chuckling to herself at the absurdity of the idea. Here she was, letting someone slowly grind a blade within half an inch of her worst injury, while in the meantime she couldn’t think of a way to get close enough to Adora to kill her quickly, without the danger of retaliation.

And then, Catra _smiled_ , a brilliant plan finally forming in her mind. It wasn’t risk-free, but Adora was dumb enough that it should work. The harder part would be stealing the weapon in the first place, but Catra was no stranger to stealth, even with her leg in this state.

\--

Later that night, and with the weapon of choice successfully obtained, Catra decided to put her plan into action. She hurried to the prison, and felt pleased that her new, smaller plaster cast made movement somewhat easier.

“Hey Adora,” Catra drawled, as she stood outside of the cell. She swatted her tail around as she watched the other woman stand up from the bed, and rush desperately towards her. _Pathetic_ , Catra thought.

“Catra! You came back!”

“Yes, and I brought you something,” Catra said, pulling her hand out from her back, and exposing the hidden blade.

“You brought my sword?!” Adora exclaimed. “That’s great! Quick, open up and I can finally heal you.”

Catra smirked. _Dumbass_ , just like she’d thought. She placed her palm on the handprint scanner by the door, and gulped thickly as the green barrier fell away. She watched Adora like a hawk, but Adora just stood there, as though waiting for Catra to make the next move. 

_This is almost too easy_ , Catra thought, stepping forwards once, twice, and then a third time, until she was practically nose to nose with Adora, frowning into those disgusting blue eyes of hers. “Here you go, Adora,” she said, grinning maniacally before she swiftly pulled the blade back and thrust it forwards, the tip heading straight for Adora’s gut.

And it would have hit, too, if not for Catra’s leg choosing that precise moment to buckle under her, forcing her to stumble just enough that the sword merely grazed along Adora’s waist.

Catra cried out in pain as the sword clattered to the floor. In a mad panic, she clambered for it, fell back onto her ass and held it up, pointing the tip towards Adora, ready to fight for her life. The blade shook violently in her grip, and a mixture of fear and adrenaline made it almost impossible for her to focus. 

“Catra…” Adora said only one word, her name, but something had changed in the way she looked at her. Those blue eyes were somehow distant, now, like a spark had been extinguished. She leaned down, and Catra backed away with a _hiss_ , keeping the sword aimed squarely at her.

“S-Stay away,” Catra said, then inwardly cursed at the stutter, a clear and obvious sign to her enemy that she was afraid.

Adora stepped forwards. In one quick motion she slapped her palms to either side of the blade, and tugged the tip of the sword to her chest, dragging Catra forwards with it. A small dot of blood appeared there, spreading out into a larger pool of crimson. “Do it.”

“What…” Catra felt confused by her own hesitation. It was an open invitation, after all. Nothing could be easier. “What are you doing?”

Adora tugged the blade again, and winced as it sank a half an inch deep. “I thought I could come here and fix everything,” she said, smiling weakly. “I never stopped to think you couldn’t even bear to look at me anymore. Or that you’d want me dead.” 

“I _do_ want you dead,” Catra said, gritting her teeth. But instead of pushing the sword forwards, her arms held the blade in place and she _stopped_ Adora, stopped her from hurting herself even more. “But on my terms. Let go, Adora.”

“Okay,” she said, and just like that, Adora removed her hands, and she sat down, staring at the floor. She had a stream of blood trickling all the way down the middle of her vest, and a small streak of blood along the thin cut at her waist, but she didn’t seem to care at all.

Catra didn’t care, either. She didn’t care that the person she’d known her whole life, who she’d grown up with, was right there, bleeding in front of her. This _wasn’t_ that person. This was an imposter, someone heartless who’d run away from her, abandoned her. Besides, the girl she’d grown up with, and almost confessed her feelings to that one time? That kind-hearted girl who used to make Catra forget about everything else, who made Catra yearn to be kissed, and then hate herself for having such weak thoughts? This _definitely_ wasn’t her. No, Adora was someone else now. A dangerous stranger. A threat.

Adora eventually raised her head and sighed, her eyes appearing duller than ever. “What are you waiting for? I won’t fight back. Make it quick.”

“Ugh, why are you being so morbid,” Catra said, hugging the hilt of the sword to her chest, and resting her back against the prison wall.

“Morbid!?” Adora snapped. “You’re the one who came here to… to...” she choked out a sob, and Catra hated that it made her feel something. Something other than hate.

“You’re seriously going to start crying? Idiot.”

“I know I am!” Adora said, clutching a fist at her bloodied chest. “I’m an idiot for coming back. I’m an idiot for thinking you’d let me help you. And I’m _definitely_ an idiot for opening my heart to you!”

“Just shut up!” Catra snapped, her head beginning to throb. She stood slowly to her feet, and then tossed the sword onto the floor, where it landed with a loud _clank_ next to Adora. “Get out. And take that fucking thing with you.”

“Fine, I’ll go,” Adora said, and Catra growled when Adora stood up, then stepped towards her. “I’ll go, I promise. Just let me heal you first,” she said, reaching a hand out.

Catra unsheathed all of her claws. “One more step, Adora. And you’ll have to worry about healing yourself far more than my leg.”

Adora’s brows furrowed. “I see you’re as stubborn as ever.”

“And you’re as annoying,” Catra spat. She turned around and walked out of the cell, while trying her best to disguise her limp. “Leave, Adora. And don’t _ever_ come back.”

Catra fell back into her usual hobble as soon as she was sure Adora couldn’t see her. She cursed her leg, for stopping her. But more than that she cursed the tight knot in her throat, and the nagging feeling at the back of her mind, telling her she actually felt some kind of _relief_ that her plan had royally fucked up. 

But it didn’t matter. If Adora had any sense, she’d be on her way out already. And if she hadn’t… Catra would just have to deal with that tomorrow. Hopefully Adora would be just as willing to let her finish her off if it came to it, although Catra couldn’t work out why she had been so compliant in ending her own life in the first place.

 _Maybe she actually does love me_ , she thought, then she shook her head and laughed bitterly, knowing how ridiculous that sounded. _No, she’s up to something. It’s probably a rebel plan. She’s spying for them. Or she does actually want to heal me, conveniently healing her dirty conscience too... and she’s just trying to get on my good side so that I’ll let her._

“Fuck!” Catra exclaimed, frustrated that despite her best wishes, Adora was once again the only thing on her mind. And it _infuriated_ her.


	4. I Will Try To Fix You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Adora**

Adora looked down at the sword. It was right where Catra had left it, just lying there on the floor. She bent down to pick it up, her hands still trembling, and fresh blood trickling down the wound in the center of her chest.

“Catra…?” she whispered, only then noticing that the cell barrier had been left deactivated. She released a long, deep sigh, then sat on the bed, and pressed the tip of the blade onto the tiled floor. _She actually wants to kill me_ , Adora thought, squeezing her eyes closed as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. 

She rested her palms atop the rounded end of the hilt, staring into the blue jewel in the center, grinding her teeth together. _I came all this way to heal her, to tell her how I feel... But she just wants me dead._

Adora laughed bitterly at the irony. How had they ever drifted this far apart? How could she love someone who clearly hated her so much? Her chest started to throb, and she wasn’t sure if it was the injury, or her heart aching. 

_Maybe it’s both_. 

And then she felt her gut twist, along with a wave of nausea at a harsher truth. It wasn’t just that Catra hated her. No, it was far worse than that. She’d seen it in the way Catra’s hands had trembled while she’d held that sword, and heard it in the way she’d stuttered.

Adora shifted her hands and gripped the handle of the sword until her knuckles turned white, tightly enough that it would have probably shattered if she were She Ra right now. The woman she loved, and had apparently loved her entire life, was terrified of her. And she had no idea what to do about it.

“Uh…”

Adora snapped back to reality and twisted her head to the right, finding Kyle, stood perfectly still while holding a blue food tray and a bottle of water. He stared down at her hands, which were still tightly gripping the hilt of the blade. 

“Oh, hey Kyle,” she said, attempting a weak smile. 

“Should I… set off the alarm?” he asked, wincing.

“No. I’m not going anywhere,” Adora said, sighing. “Or maybe I am. I honestly don’t know anymore.”

Kyle took a few nervous steps forwards, and put the food and drink on the end of the bed, where his eyes widened. “You’re hurt! I’ll go get some bandages, just wait-”

“No. I’ll fix it,” Adora interrupted, shaking her head. She didn’t bother to transform, since it was a relatively minor injury. She raised the hilt of the sword to her chest, and a few seconds later the bleeding stopped.

“Wow,” Kyle said, folding his arms. “Neat trick.”

Adora sat cross legged on the grey sheets of the bed, propped her back against the wall, and lay the sword flat across her thighs. She noticed that Kyle was still looking at her, and felt her heart sink when she detected the same traces of fear she’d sensed in Catra. “Kyle, it’s just me. I promise.”

“Well, you say that, but…”

Adora thumped the back of her head against the wall. “Can you… just do me a favour? For old times sake?”

“I’m listening…”

“Just... stay a while.”

“Um, I can do that,” Kyle said, smiling weakly. He sat down on the floor, cross legged, and folded his arms, looking up at Adora expectantly.

“I guess you’re wondering why I came back.”

Kyle shook his head. “I already know. You two were always inseparable, after all.”

“I just wanted to try and make things right, especially after...” 

“We all know it wasn’t your fault, Adora. We heard about what Catra did, setting that trap, and infecting the sword.”

Adora let out an incredulous laugh. “Does it matter? I should have been stronger,” she said, scowling down at the sword. “I should have fought it off. The things I did…” 

“That wasn’t you.”

“Wasn’t it?” Adora asked, choking out a sob and covering her mouth with her hand, “She’s terrified of me now. She even tried to kill me.”

“She… wait, seriously? Is that why you were hurt?”

Adora nodded, and brushed away fresh tears. “I can’t blame her. I’m an idiot, I don’t know what else I expected.”

Kyle furrowed his brows. “Wow. I mean, I knew she’d been on a downward spiral lately, but-”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, things obviously got worse after you left,” Kyle said, slumping his shoulders. “Catra didn’t take it well. She doesn’t talk to us anymore, or anyone else for that matter. And she’s been even worse these past two weeks, since… you know.”

“Right,” Adora said, grimacing when a flicker of red blurred through her mind, and an all-too familiar scream echoed in her memories.

Kyle stood up, and patted a hand against her shoulder. “It’ll be okay. Just give her time.”

Adora brushed away her tears, and chuckled quietly. “You always were the nice one.”

“Well, someone’s got to be,” Kyle said, grinning. He leaned against the wall, and his smile slowly faded away. “We actually really missed you, Adora. Even Lonnie! We were all bummed out when you just switched sides.”

Adora squeezed her eyes closed, fighting back more tears. “This is all my fault, isn’t it? If I had never left in the first place, then I… then we… ”

“I never said we blamed you,” Kyle said, holding his hands out. “It is kind of horrible here. The things they make us do now… getting out was the right call. You know that, right?”

“I’m not sure about anything anymore," Adora muttered. 

“Hey, you came back for her,” Kyle said, crouching down to catch Adora’s attention. “That counts for something. She knows it too.”

Adora peered down at her reflection in the blade, and sighed. ”I lost count of how many times Shadow Weaver hurt her, you know,” she said, feeling herself grow angry as she spoke. “Sometimes it felt like the more I tried to stop it happening, the more I pissed Catra off, somehow. And now here I am again, trying to save her, again.”

“She always was a bit stubborn.”

Adora snorted out a wet, teary laugh. “Hah, understatement.”

“But underneath it all, I think she still loves you.”

“Wait…” Adora said, furrowing her brows and staring at Kyle. “Why would you say that? She never said… I-I mean, we never…”

“I think everyone apart from you two knew,” Kyle said, raising a finger and thumb to his chin. “We used to take bets on who would tell the other first, but I guess we all lost.”

“Actually,” Adora said, feeling her cheeks heat up. “I… hah. Wow. I actually told her that I love her. Yeah, I did that.”

“Huh? Seriously?” Kyle said, raising his eyebrows. “Oh man, I lost! When did _that_ happen?”

“As soon as I got here. But she didn’t believe a word of it,” Adora said, chuckling quietly despite the thick lump forming in her throat. “I wonder if she ever felt the same.”

“Of course she did.”

“Well, even if she didn’t, or doesn’t, or won’t… I’m still going to try to help her.”

“There’s the Adora we know and love,” Kyle said, beaming. “So, you’re staying?”

“Yeah,” Adora said. She twisted around, and hid the sword down the edge of the mattress along the wall. “Hopefully she won’t kill me.”

“Just be yourself, and it’ll work out. I’m sure of it.”

“Thanks, Kyle. And hey, you’d better get out of here before anyone notices you’re gone.”

“Good point,” Kyle said, walking out of the cell. “It’s good to have you back, Adora.”

“Wish me luck,” Adora said, watching as the barrier re-appeared at the front of the cell. 

“Nah. You won’t need it,” Kyle said. She saw him smile through the green, flickering field, then watched as he turned around, and walked away.

\--

Adora picked at the small meal that had been left behind, unsurprised to find it was the same as yesterday. Brown rations, the most flavourless of all. She felt a ball of anxiety well up inside of her as she ate, and by the time she’d finished her food she was almost having a full blown panic attack. 

_What if Catra tries to kill me again? What if Shadow Weaver does something to her? What if Catra hates me forever? What if I hurt her again, somehow? What if I’m trapped here forever, What if-_

The thoughts kept spiralling, further and further out of control, until Adora grunted loudly, drank the entire bottle of water, and jumped off of the bed. She stretched out her arms and legs and quickly threw herself into one of her usual high intensity training routines, shutting her mind off completely. 

\--

Several sit ups, pushups, and burpees later, Adora was laid on her bed, with her body caked in sweat. But her mind was calmer, now, and she felt more focused than ever. _I’m going to heal her_ , she thought, feeling her determination renewed. _Even if she doesn’t want me, even if she hates me or tries to kill me. It doesn’t matter. I’ll get through to her somehow._

“See you in the morning,” she said, almost wishing Catra could hear.

She fell into a deep, half-exhausted sleep, and she dreamt again. This time of a younger and more innocent time, when she and Catra were only seven years old.

\--

“Haha! Got ya!” Catra said, tugging at Adora’s shirt, and causing her to fall onto her bottom, winding her.

“You’re so fast!” Adora said, beaming up at her. “I wish I could run as fast as you can.”

“I’m faster, but you’re stronger,” Catra said, sticking her tongue out. “That makes us even.”

“It does?”

Catra pressed her index finger to Adora’s forehead. “Yes, dummy.”

Adora burst into a fit of giggles, and Catra joined in, until they were both laughing so hard that their bellies hurt and tears sprang to their eyes. 

Adora grinned widely. “Let’s play hide and seek this time. You’re too good at tag.”

“I’m good at hiding too, Adora,” Catra said, beaming.

“I’ll still find you!” Adora said. But then she noticed Catra’s smile suddenly vanish, and she followed her gaze behind and above herself, where she found Shadow Weaver standing there, right behind her.

“Children...” 

Adora gulped. “Uh, we were just-”

“Adora,” Shadow Weaver said, saying her name as though it were coated with honey. “We’ve talked about this. You may only play with Catra _after_ you have finished your duties. And I can see that you have not.”

Adora quickly grabbed the nearest sweeping brush, and started to clean up the floor. “We only stopped for a minute, I promise.”

“As for you, Catra,” Shadow Weaver said, her voice full of venom. She reached a hand out, and splayed out her fingers. “You will stop being such a nuisance,” she continued, as black tendrils flooded out from somewhere beneath. “Is. That. _Clear?_ ”

“Argh!” Catra squealed and her eyes turned wide, as swirling, black smoke surrounded her.

“Stop!” Adora said, dropping the broomstick in horror. “You’re hurting her!”

Catra wriggled around as she was hoisted up into the air, and she reached her hands to her neck, gasping, trying to pull away the black tendrils that were wrapped in tight circles around her throat. Adora couldn't stand it anymore, she ran up to Shadow Weaver and tugged desperately at her crimson robes. “Please, stop! Please!”

Shadow Weaver grunted, and appeared disorientated. She placed her hand over her eyes, and a few moments later Catra was released, falling onto the floor on her side.

Adora ran up to her, feeling her heart sink when she saw the awful red marks visible around Catra’s neck. “Catra… Catra!” she said, folding her hands around her fingers, and squeezing tightly.

Catra opened her eyes and smiled weakly. “Hey, Adora.”

Adora broke into a loud sob, sad that her friend was so hurt, but happy that she was going to be okay. She felt Shadow Weaver’s presence looming behind her, and saw the shadow stretch across the room.

“You’d better keep her under control, Adora.”

Adora wasn’t even sure what that meant, but she squeezed her eyes shut, and nodded her head vigorously anyway. 

\--

Adora snapped her eyes open, and found herself covered in sweat. _That was the first time_ , she thought, remembering it so clearly. _The first time Shadow Weaver seriously hurt Catra._

She looked down at her hands, and found them trembling. Then she peered towards the barrier and suddenly yelped, almost falling out of the bed in surprise.

Catra’s furious gaze bore into hers, her amber and blue stare distorted through the green flicker of the barrier. “What. The fuck,” she growled, swishing her tail violently left to right. 

Adora took a deep breath, got out of bed and stormed up to the barrier, meeting Catra’s angry stare head-on. She pointed down to Catra’s injured leg. “I’m not going anywhere until you let me fix that.”

“Fuck!” Catra yelled, fisting her hands into her hair. She slammed her hand onto the print-scanner, causing the green barrier to fall, then stormed towards Adora. “What part of _I don’t want you here_ don’t you _get_?” she asked, fisting a hand into Adora’s bloodied shirt, and stretching it upwards.

Adora kept her voice calm. “What part of I’m not leaving until I heal you, don’t you get?”

Catra bared her fangs. “Seriously?!”

“If you want me gone so badly, let me do this _one_ thing.”

Adora was suddenly pushed backwards with full force, landing roughly on the floor, with Catra towering above her. _I almost forgot how strong she can be_ , she thought, watching Catra unsheath one claw after another. And then, Catra lunged for her, and a small part of Adora thought that maybe she should sit there and accept her fate. But a bigger part still refused to give up, so she reached up and grabbed Catra’s wrists mid-air, then used her momentum against her, swinging her to the side and then straddling her, pinning her to the floor.

“Fuck you!” Catra spat, as she tried to yank her arms away.

“WIll you just. Calm. Down!” Adora said, trying to hold her in place, without hurting her. “Just let me heal your leg, and I’ll go! Is that so hard?!”

“FINE!” Catra snapped, though the way her fingers were still stretched out, with her claws very much unsheathed, suggested there was no weight to the word.

“Um, claws?” Adora asked, arching an eyebrow.

Catra growled, almost too quietly for Adora to hear, before popping her claws back into place, and relaxing her fingers. She faked a smile. “Happy?”

Adora loosened her grip but remained alert, ready to jump away if those talons came back out. Getting scratched by Catra was no laughing matter. She’d seen those things cut through steel, after all. “I’m going to stand up now,” she said, releasing her hold altogether, and quickly leaping to her feet.

Catra scowled, and Adora noticed her fingers twitch more than once, before she seemed to think better of it. “I fucking hate you,” she said, standing up. She sat on the bed, and waved a hand dismissively. “Just get it over with.”

Adora tried not to show any emotion at the cruel words. She kept her movements slow, and reached down the side of the bed, watching Catra watch her every move. She pulled out the sword, and saw Catra’s lips curl downwards in distaste. “Sorry, but I need it,” she said, wincing.

“Of course you do,” Catra said, flattening her ears. “If I so much as smell anything suspicious, I’m going to slice your neck open, just so we’re clear.”

“I don’t even know what that would smell like,” Adora said, rolling her eyes. “But I’m going to need She Ra for this. Your injury is still pretty bad-”

“You’re joking, right?” Catra said, visibly tensing. “After what happened? Seriously?!”

“It was _your_ fucking trap, Catra!” Adora snapped, then regretted it as soon as she saw Catra’s eyes widen.

“Oh, so you swear now? Did your Brightmoon buddies teach you how to loosen up?”

Adora took a deep breath. “I’m going to transform. I’m going to heal you. And then I’m leaving. Okay?”

“Or, I could just kill you.”

Adora sighed exasperatedly. “So kill me then! Or don’t! Just make your mind up, Catra.”

She felt Catra’s eyes burn into hers for a full minute, but Adora refused to blink, and refused to back down. And then, for the briefest of moments, she saw doubt flicker across Catra’s stony expression, and she took advantage of it.

“I’m doing this,” Adora said, gripping her sword’s hilt. “Close your eyes if it helps.”

“Not a chance.”

“Suit yourself,” Adora said, raising her sword, and whispering, “for the honour of greyskull.”

Catra stared at her during the whole transformation, and when Adora noticed that she was visibly trembling, it broke her heart. She knelt down and slowly, carefully held the blade close to Catra’s wounded leg, where she heard Catra’s breath hitch, and watched her claws slide out, digging into the duvet.

“I won’t hurt you,” Adora said, smiling up at Catra, and waiting a few moments longer.

“Tsk, just get on with it,” Catra said, looking over to one side of the cell, and sheathing her claws.

Once she felt sure Catra wouldn’t attack her, Adora focused her energy around the area until the plaster cast and the leg beneath it were illuminated in a golden glow. “Ugh,” Adora grunted, furrowing her brows.

This was harder than all those times she’d practised. She could sense the injury within the cast, sense that the bones were still fractured, and had six holes drilled into them, four of which were partially healed, the other two not healed at all. The muscle felt torn, and the skin felt bruised. It took everything Adora had to undo all of it, to mend bone and flesh alike.

But she managed it, somehow, and by the time she’d finished she felt completely drained, phasing back down to her usual size without even meaning to. She fell backwards, panting, her sword clattering to the floor. 

“That’s it?” Catra asked, lifting her leg up, and twisting it left and right. She tapped her knuckles on the cast a few times, and grinned. “Well, would you look at that?”

Adora clambered slowly to her feet, still feeling weak from the exertion of healing such a nasty injury. “I’m glad it’s better,” she said, sliding her sword into the loop behind her back, and then walking out of the cell, without looking back.

“Hey, Adora…”

Adora paused in her footsteps and turned to face Catra, a sudden feeling of hope radiating in her chest. “Yeah?”

Catra narrowed her eyes. “This changes nothing,” she said, flexing out a claw and pointing it at her. “You’re still a piece of shit, and I still hate you.”

Adora swallowed thickly, and managed to hold back her tears. “Goodbye, Catra,” she said, before gritting her teeth and walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the art, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1322254314891599873)!


	5. I've Got You Under My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> *CONTENT WARNING*  
> \- noncon (but it's a dream)  
> \- Skip the three paragraphs after “Hey, Catra.” to avoid the worst of it (start reading from the break)

**Catra**

Catra stormed down the corridor, feeling a mixture of emotions she just wasn’t ready to deal with right now. She barged into her room and sat on her bed, then started to cut the cast from her leg one layer at a time, using her razor sharp claws.

She was furious with herself for relenting. For actually letting Adora do this, for letting her get so close _and_ transform into She Ra, of all things.

“Maybe I’ve lost my fucking mind,” she muttered, tearing through the last two layers, where the cast split open and fell apart. Catra examined her leg, surprised to find it as good as new. Other than the fur being matted with sweat and antiseptic gel, she’d never know it had been injured at all. 

She took a few deep breaths. _Did that really just happen?_ Catra thought, replaying the scene in her mind. The whole time that She Ra had been crouched down in front of her, deep in concentration, Catra had been torn between lashing out with her claws, or getting the hell out of there. But she’d held back, somehow, and Adora had made good on her promise, leaving straight afterwards. 

Catra tried to ignore the quiet voice telling her she’d wanted Adora to stay, to fight back, and to try harder. Because Catra didn’t need Adora. She never had. Then she remembered that Adora had actually _swore_. Adora, of all people, and she couldn’t help but smile.

_Fuck. I miss her..._

Catra ground her teeth together at the uninvited thought. She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to will away that awful, familiar feeling that was threatening to surface. She’d had to suffer it for years, before Adora had left. She didn't want it anymore. That fucking yearning, that need, that awful, relentless pining. It made her feel weak.

 _I should have killed her_ , she thought, looking down at her trembling hands. It wasn’t just She Ra that was a threat. Adora was, too, because of how easily she snuck under Catra’s skin, and invaded her thoughts.

Just like she was doing right now, when Catra remembered how exhausted she had looked after healing her leg. How she’d fallen backwards and dropped the sword, appearing as though she might pass out. How it had taken every ounce of Catra’s willpower to stay on that bed and not reach out to see if she was okay. Because why should Catra care if she were okay or not? She didn’t owe Adora a single damn thing.

“Ugh, get out of my head!” Catra said, resting her elbows on her knees, and holding her head in her hands. She was tormented by that flicker of despair she’d seen in Adora’s eyes, just before she’d left, not to mention how despondent she’d appeared when Catra tried to kill her. But Catra didn’t care. She couldn’t care. And she definitely hadn’t wanted to reach out her hand and nestle her fingers into that loose, messy blonde hair, then tell Adora she hadn’t meant it.

Catra sighed, and her heart weighed heavily in her chest.

She’d always had a soft spot for Adora’s hair, especially on those rare occasions that she wore it down. She wondered if that was part of Adora’s master plan, to play to her weaknesses. And maybe it had worked, because right now she was thinking back to when she used to lazily twirl Adora’s hair around while she slept, and how those soft strands felt when she massaged them between her fingers.

Catra missed sharing dumb jokes with Adora, missed making her laugh and watching her smile reach her eyes. She missed sitting outside late at night and talking about nothing with her, missed how soothing it was to fall asleep while listening to her light snores. She missed laying next to her, their hands almost touching, and wondering if she’d ever have the courage to tell Adora how she felt.

She remembered how by the time she’d turned seventeen every hormone in her body screamed at her to kiss Adora, to touch her, to be touched by her, and on the days it became too much to bear she’d distract herself with rigorous training. And when that wasn’t enough, when she was so desperate for Adora’s touch that she thought she might actually explode, Catra would sneak into a toilet cubicle and relieve herself with her own hands. It’d take less than a minute before she came, always with Adora’s name spilling silently from her quivering lips. 

“Stop thinking about her already,” Catra muttered, scratching the matted fur on her calf, enjoying the freedom to be able to do so at last.

But there was that _other_ itch bothering her now, one she hadn’t felt for a long time. Maybe it was from remembering how much Adora used to turn her on. Maybe it was from the way Adora had smiled at her today, her baby blue eyes full of regret, and hope, and something else, something that Catra still refused to acknowledge. 

Most likely it was from the fact Catra had smelled her scent all over while she sat on her prison bed, and Adora’s smell alone was enough to set her on edge, bring back old memories, and old feelings. She remembered that scent, and how delicious it’d tasted on the back of her tongue. And the itch grew stronger, strong enough that she couldn’t bear it anymore.

Catra laid down on her bed and pushed her hand under her leggings, then slid her fingers beneath her underwear. She gasped when she realised how drenched she was, and closed her eyes, writhing into her own touch while thinking of Adora. Nobody had to know. And she needed this, needed to feel something other than hate, otherwise she felt like she might go mad.

And so, just for a short time, Catra allowed fonder memories to flood her senses. How it used to feel, waking up next to Adora’s beautiful face, and how it would take her breath away when those gorgeous blue eyes slowly opened, then stared back at her. How one time she’d woken up only to find Adora holding her tightly from behind, one hand up her nightshirt, and her hips twitching ever so slightly against her buttocks. Catra had no idea if Adora had been asleep or not, but she remembered how she’d immediately had to take a toilet break, where she’d climaxed so hard that she’d left a few grooves on the cubicle wall.

Catra bit her lower lip into a smirk at that particular memory. She slid two fingers inside herself, curling them against her favourite spot, and barely stifled her groan. She’d had her own private quarters for a year now, and never put them to this kind of use before. But then again she hadn’t felt these kinds of urges at all, not since Adora had left her. _But she’s back_ , Catra thought, her hand speeding up. _She came back for me. She said she loves me._

“F-fuck,” Catra hissed, feeling herself burn hotly beneath her own hand.

_Even if she didn’t mean it, it felt so good hearing it. And what if she did mean it? What if she were here, right now, naked. She’d be so wet for me, I know she would. I’d fuck her hard, make her cum all over my hand, make her scream my name..._

“AH!” Catra cried out. She wasn’t prepared for the intensity of her climax as it rocked through her. And even then, once it ebbed away she needed more. She remembered Adora’s scent, plastered all over that room, and Adora’s arms, tense, strong as always, and her thick jawline, and those lips, _those fucking lips,_ and how they’d feel between her legs. Catra came again, this time biting her lower lip to mask the sound.

\--

Catra eventually regained her senses, and eased out her fingers, peering down at the slick that shone between them. She felt somewhat relieved, glad that she’d gotten all of _that_ out of her system. It had felt really good, actually. _Too_ good. Good enough that she had no choice but to admit to herself that some part of her still wanted Adora, despite how much she hated her.

“Damn it,” Catra muttered, grabbing a tissue from her bedside table, and wiping her fingers clean. 

Even if by some miracle she stopped hating Adora, and could forgive her, she’d never feel safe around her. Not anymore. She Ra was a monster, a monster that Adora kept in check most of the time, but who’s to say she wouldn’t lose control again some day? Catra had learned the hard way just how deadly She Ra actually was, when Adora wasn’t reining it in, that is. All those times they’d fought, and Catra had never worked out why She Ra was nowhere near as powerful as people had claimed. 

_Yeah, that was pretty fucking stupid of me_ , Catra thought. In hindsight, She Ra could have crushed her like a bug in any one of those battles. 

_Doesn't matter anyway. She’s gone_ , Catra thought, ignoring the tight feeling in her chest. She leaned over and tapped the handheld tablet next to her bed, and saw that she only had five minutes left before they stopped giving out breakfast rations. As though on cue, her belly rumbled loudly. 

_Guess I worked up an appetite_ , Catra thought, smirking to herself. She flung her legs over the bed, stood up and stretched out, feeling elated that her leg didn’t hurt at all anymore. She decided that she was going to grab some food, and then wear herself out with combat training. Now that she was all better, it was time to get back into shape.

\--

After eating her fill, Catra walked towards the training area at a steady pace. It was only after a few steps more that she remembered her she didn’t need to hold back anymore, so she grinned and launched herself into a giddy sprint, barrelling down the corridor as quickly as she could, enjoying how the air bristled through her fur.

 _Yeah, I’ve still got it_ , Catra thought, smirking. But then Shadow Weaver appeared from around the next corner, and she came to a screeching halt, stopping just in front of her.

“Ah, Catra! I was just looking for you,” Shadow Weaver said, folding her arms.

 _Shit,_ Catra through, feeling herself panic. She hadn’t planned this far ahead, hadn’t really thought of anything beyond getting rid of Adora. She had no idea what Shadow Weaver would do to her now. 

“Well, you found me,” Catra said, shrugging. Then she smelt it in the air, that familiar reek of wine on the other woman’s breath. Things went one of two ways when she’d hit the sauce. She’d either be more relaxed, and have looser lips, or she’d be easier to anger, more likely to fly off the handle and go into a complete rage. Catra hoped it was the former.

Shadow weaver narrowed her eyes and crouched down, peering at Catra’s leg. “Ahh, so she really _does_ have healing powers? Interesting...”

“Wait, how did you-”

“I know more than you realise,” Shadow Weaver said, returning to her full height, dark tendrils drifting around her. “For example, I know that Adora’s sword went missing from my chambers yesterday. I know you returned it to her, and I know that you _think_ she has escaped, never to return.”

Catra’s jaw fell open, but she said nothing. _Looks like it’s loose lips this time_ , she thought, feeling relieved.

“Adora won’t leave, of course,” Shadow Weaver continued, taking one of Catra’s grey tufts and stroking it between her finger and thumb. “So long as _you’re_ here.”

“What!?”

“Hah! Why else do you think we keep you around? I’m honestly surprised it took her this long to come back.”

Catra folded her ears back, and tried not to let the words get to her. Shadow Weaver was a master manipulator, after all. “You’re wrong. She won’t come back,” Catra said... _not if she knows what’s good for her_.

Shadow Weaver raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“I am.”

_I’m not._

\--

Catra spent the rest of the day training, and very much enjoyed unleashing all of her rage from the past two weeks on the unfortunate bots. She tried not to think about Shadow Weaver, tried not to let the words get to her. But still, they festered inside of her, and sent her mind into overdrive.

The very idea that she’d been used all this time, for no other reason than to control Adora, it… it couldn’t be true. She’d given the horde more than that. She was worth _more_ than that.

But if she really thought about it, it all added up. All of those punishments she’d endured, all of that torture, had it really ever been for her? Or had it been to see how Adora would react? To control her, to shape her?

Catra blinked a few times. Of course it had. Shadow Weaver had made it Adora’s job to protect her, ever since they were kids. That’s why she had such an unbearable hero complex now. That’s why she had to fix everything, all of the time. And when Adora had found the sword, that weight of responsibility had grown tenfold.

Catra grimaced at the obvious realisation. They’d used her this whole time to get to Adora, which meant Catra hadn’t been the only one twisted and turned by the horde. It’s why Adora came back. It’s why she couldn’t handle the guilt. It’s why she was even willing to die because of it. And it’s why she was every bit as messed up as Catra was, albeit in a very different way. 

“Well, fuck,” Catra muttered. She swiftly roundhoused the next robot, sending it flying across the room.

The only thing Catra couldn’t work out, if all of this were true, is why Adora had left, or at least, hadn’t come back sooner. _You can’t leave someone you love_ , Catra reasoned. She would know, because she’d never have been able to do that to Adora. Not in a million years.

She punched another robot into submission while pondering this. Maybe Adora hadn’t wanted to leave _her_. After all, she’d pleaded with Catra to join her, more times than Catra could actually remember. She was the one who’d been stubborn. She was the moron who’d decided that staying in the horde would somehow be a better idea.

“But she still left me!” Catra snarled, slicing the bot’s head clean off. Adora had still left, had still broken all those promises they’d made as kids, and it had still devastated her. No amount of rational thinking could change that, or could change how bitter it made her feel.

Nor could it change the fact that behind those pretty blue eyes there was a monster, just waiting to be unleashed again. 

\--

Later that night, after thoroughly exhausting herself, Catra slept. Her dreams were filled with thoughts of Adora, of a quiet night when they were seventeen, or at least, of what could have been.

\--

“Hey, are you okay?” Adora asked, brushing a few strands of hair from Catra’s face. “You were having a nightmare.”

“I was?”

“Hmm. But it’s okay, I’m here.”

Catra smiled, and felt her heart hammer against her chest. “Hey, Adora…”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember that night when we talked about liking people?”

Adora’s eyes widened. “Of course I do. But I thought you were mad after what happened...”

“I was,” Catra said, pouting. “But only because of Shadow Weaver. I just… I never got to tell you...”

Adora grinned, and her beautiful blue eyes sparkled. “What’s gotten into you? Tell me what?”

Catra swallowed thickly, and she reached a trembling hand to Adora’s long hair. She twirled it between her thumb and forefinger, and then realised this was the first time she’d done it when Adora was actually awake.

Adora’s cheeks reddened. “Um, Catra?”

Catra wasn’t good with words. Not when it came to things like this. So she did what came naturally to her instead, and swooped forwards, lightly pressing her lips against Adora’s.

She noticed Adora become rigid, and Catra sharply pulled away, holding her breath. But then Adora’s expression melted and the next thing Catra knew her lips were trapped in a hungry, needy kiss, and it was as though all of her dreams had finally come true.

“Adora,” she gasped, feeling her hands on her at last, sneaking under her top, running against her fur. Adora’s fingers were rough, calloused from their training, and having them roam her body like this took Catra’s breath away. She helped Adora tug her white shirt off, and then stripped as quickly as she could, with Adora doing the same.

And then, Adora was on top of her, smooth flesh and heat writhing against her, and Catra couldn’t help but urge her hips upwards, grinding herself against Adora’s leg.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Adora said, panting against Catra’s ear. But something was wrong. Her voice… it didn’t sound right. And her form… it was growing heavier, larger, right before her very eyes.

“Adora?” Catra asked, feeling herself tremble.

Adora pulled away and stared down at her, and Catra froze. Red, eerie eyes bore into hers, and Adora’s face was plastered with the most sinister of grins. 

“Hey, Catra.”

Catra tried to scramble away but she was trapped under She Ra’s immense weight. All she could do was watch in horror as She Ra licked her lips and carried on touching her, squeezing her roughly, bruising her, almost breaking her.

“I always wanted to fuck you,” She Ra said, shoving her hand between Catra’s legs.

“Stop!” Catra screamed, gagging as those monstrous fingers pushed into her, and started to roughly thrust. She couldn’t move. She was helpless. All she could do was give up, allowing her body to turn limp while she sobbed. 

Those awful red eyes never stopped glaring down at her, not even when She Ra squeezed her thick fingers around her neck, laughing while strangling the life out of her.

\--

Catra jolted awake with a scream trapped in her throat. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, and her fur was matted with sweat. She sat up and clutched her sheets to her chest, her eyes darting frantically around the room. 

“It wasn’t real,” she said, taking a few deep breaths. _It wasn’t real_. Adora was gone, She Ra was gone. Or was she? Catra had to be certain. 

She leapt to her feet and quickly got dressed, then ran towards the prison. And when she got there, she breathed out a long, shaking sigh of relief. The cell was still vacant, and Adora was long gone by now, along with the vile monster that lived inside of her.


	6. Broken Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Adora**

Healing Catra’s leg had left Adora feeling exhausted and broken, both in body and spirit. She thought she could be stronger than this, thought that she would be able to handle whatever Catra might throw at her. But the incessant cruelty was too much to bear in the end, and now those words lingered, echoing around her tired mind.

_I don’t want you here. I could just kill you. I still hate you. Fuck you!_

Adora paused to take a few long, controlled breaths, eventually tuning out the intrusive thoughts. She was so worn out that she could barely keep her head up, and it took all of her strength just to put one foot in front of the other.

She was half-way out of the central compound, and was about to step out of the current alley, but then she heard voices approaching. She leaned backwards and pressed herself closely against the nearest wall.

“-you hear? They got Adora holed up here somewhere.”

“Seriously? So like, is she back?”

Adora didn’t recognise the voices, so she remained hidden in the shadows while the patrol passed by. When they were out of earshot, she peered up and down the road that spanned the wide clearing ahead. 

Once convinced that it was clear, she darted across to the narrow alley on the other side, where she suddenly felt her legs turn to jelly. “Shit,” she muttered, slapping her hands against the wall to steady herself, taking a few deep breaths until the dizzy spell passed.

She was rapidly becoming exhausted, and she knew that if she passed out here, she’d be captured again, this time against her will. 

_Come on, you’re almost there_ , she thought, forcing herself to press on. _Just a few more minutes._

She needed time to rest, time to gather her thoughts and work out what to do next, and she knew the perfect hiding place to do so. She turned left and headed down the next corridor, a dead end with nothing but a mass of vertical pipes at the end of it. Adora knew better, though, so she slowly squeezed through the maze of tubes, breathing a sigh of relief when she found her destination.

It was their secret lair. A special place that she and Catra had stumbled across one day, and from then on made their own, like a second home. In reality it was just an unused, poorly located store room, but to them it had been some kind of paradise, at least in those sparse, precious moments when Hordak and Shadow Weaver weren't around. 

Adora ran a hand along the dusty, grimy wall at the side of the entrance door, and brushed away some overgrown weeds to expose the panel beneath. She bit her tongue in concentration as she typed in the twelve digits of their secret number, and smiled to herself when the metal door smoothly _wooshed_ open.

“Hah, unbelievable,” she muttered, walking inside. She pressed a couple of buttons on the inner wall panel to close and lock the door behind her.

The room looked the same as they’d left it, with empty crates scattered around, and shelves stacked with cleaning equipment. Higher up there was a single round window with a fan lazilly rotating inside it, and dim lighting hung in thin strips across the ceiling. 

Adora could tell from the undisturbed layers of dust that Catra hadn’t been here since she left, and she wasn’t particularly surprised at the revelation. It was _their_ space, after all. She was only here out of sheer desperation.

The world started to blur around her, so she stumbled to the back of the room, relieved to find the same pile of blankets that they’d repurposed, as well as a small metal storage container full of ration bars, and bottles of water. _Emergency rations_ , Catra had said, _just in case_.

Adora smiled sadly at the fleeting memory, and wondered what Catra would think if she knew she were here right now, in their sacred space. But her tired mind didn’t allow her to dwell on it further. She didn’t even have the energy to eat. So she propped her sword against the wall, shook the dust off the blankets, and folded them into a makeshift bed, which she collapsed onto with a quiet grunt.

Less than a minute later, Adora slept. She dreamed back to the time where she and Catra first found this place. They were nine years old, and it was as though they’d just struck gold...

\--

“Why would this even be here?” Catra asked, folding her arms.

Adora hummed. “It doesn’t make much sense. You can’t even get here without squeezing through all those pipes...”

“Maybe they built it before the pipes were there?”

“Maybe. It does look kind of old,” Adora said, peering into the empty, abandoned building. The doors had been left wide open, and it didn’t look like anyone had been in here since forever.

“Look, the lock hasn’t even been set!” Catra said, pointing at the door panel excitedly.

“Huh? What does that mean?”

“It means we get to pick the code! We can take over this whole room!” 

Adora clapped her hands. “Yay! Let’s do it!”

“We should pick six numbers each,” Catra said, purring excitedly. “This is totally going to be our secret base.”

“Hmm,” Adora said, placing her hands on her hips. “Mine is one two three four five six.”

“Seriously? That’s not very secret, Adora.”

“But it’s easy!”

“Fine, mine’s six six six,” Catra said, pausing to giggle when Adora scrunched up her face, “haha! Six six six.”

“That’s even less secret!” 

“Hey if yours can be easy so can mine,” Catra said, pausing before she typed in the code. “Oh, I know!” she exclaimed, tapping twelve digits into the pad, then pressing the confirm button. “Perfect!”

Adora leaned over Catra’s shoulder, peering down at the panel. “What did you do?”

“I put them together! So it’s one six two six three six…”

“Okay okay I get it,” Adora said, beaming. “I think I can remember that.”

\--

A few days later their secret base had become more hospitable, with bedding and food stashed away, as well as a few cups, pens and nicknacks which they’d stolen from other places, or in Catra’s case, other people.

Today was a quiet day. A day when they ought to be training, or cleaning, but nobody was really around to make sure they did it. So they’d finished their duties well ahead of time, and then snuck off to their base to have some fun.

Adora was deep in concentration finishing off her latest creation, a crude drawing of Catra’s face on the wall, right next to a drawing of her own face which Catra had scribbled earlier.

“Hah, is that supposed to be me?” Catra asked, flopping down next to her. 

Adora scowled. “Hey, I’d like to see you do any better.”

Catra smirked and popped out a single claw on her index finger, then set to work etching a new picture into the wall. But instead of a picture Adora soon made out the words ‘Shadow Weaver sucks’, and she burst into a fit of giggles. Then they both fell onto the blanket, laughing until their sides hurt. 

Eventually their laughter died down, and Adora wiped away a few tears from her cheeks. “Hey, we should probably get back.”

Catra sat up and grinned. “Let’s stay a bit longer. Shadow Weaver won’t be back for at least an hour.”

“You sure?”

“Yup. I spied on her,” Catra said, winking.

“Again?! Catra, you’ll get into trouble if you keep-”

Catra silenced Adora by placing a finger on her lips. “I’m too sneaky for her, you know that.”

“I guess,” Adora said, feeling embarrassed without really knowing why. “I just worry about you. I hate it when she hurts you.”

“Well I’m not a big fan of that either, you know,” Catra said, pulling her knees to her chest. “But if I didn’t spy on her, we’d never know when to come here. And I… I like hanging out with you, Adora.”

“I like being with you too,” Adora said, smiling shyly. “I think it’s my favourite thing in the world.”

Catra’s ears pricked up. “Really?”

“Really!”

A flicker of uncertainty appeared on Catra’s face, just for a moment. “Hey, Adora?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you promise we’ll always be friends? No matter what?”

“Of course we will, silly.” Adora said, grabbing both her hands and squeezing them.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

\--

Adora woke up feeling refreshed, but also starving. She stretched out, then reached up to grab the digipad from the top of the container, and through the cracked, distorted screen saw that it was just past 10am.

“What?!” she exclaimed, realising she’d slept through all of yesterday, all night, and most of the morning. It was no wonder she was so hungry.

She grabbed a handful of bars and a couple of bottles of water, and scoffed the first ration, feeling more and more human the more that she ate. _The healing must have really taken it out of me_ , she thought, tearing open a second, and then a third ration bar. But it was worth it just to know that Catra was all better now, at least physically. 

Her heart on the other hand… Adora knew she had a much bigger challenge if she were ever going to become Catra’s friend again.

_Do you promise we’ll always be friends? No matter what?_

Adora sighed. How many promises had she broken, she wondered. She peered down at the wall next to the bedding, and swept her hand across the dusty surface, smiling when she discovered those same drawings they’d made of one another.

Then she stood to her feet and wiped away the dirt higher up, grinning when she found Catra’s words etched all over. She grabbed a small rag from one of the shelves and carried on scrubbing, until the whole wall was clear, full of insults against Hordak, Shadow Weaver, and everyone else who'd ever wronged them. 

And then she paused, her breath hitching, her eyes flooding with tears. Scrawled in the tiniest writing, directly under ‘I hate hordak’ was a single line that Adora had never noticed before.

_but I love adora_

Adora covered her mouth, as her single, loud sob echoed around the room. She brushed her trembling fingertips across the etched words, as though she could will them into the world, make them real, make Catra say the same thing to her right now.

“I love you too,” she whispered, feeling the lump in her throat grow thicker. “I’m such an idiot…”

She missed Catra, so much. Even if they could never be together in the way she hoped they could be, she still missed her. She always had. She’d lost count of the times she’d stared up at the ceiling in her new, fancy bedroom in Brightmoon, and been unable to sleep. She missed the weight of Catra curled up by her feet, missed the sound of those contented purrs she’d sometimes be lucky enough to hear, missed waking up to find Catra laying right beside her.

And what a wonderful sight it used to be, waking up to those beautiful turquoise and amber eyes. Catra’s gaze was sometimes full of curiosity, other times with mischief, and when they were both older, with something warmer. Something that Adora couldn’t quite understand. She remembered one particular morning when she’d woken up first, only to find Catra’s nose was practically touching hers. So she’d shuffled forwards just a little, and closed the tiny gap.

Adora remembered how badly she’d wanted to kiss Catra, right there and then, and her heart swelled. _How could I not have known?_ She thought, shaking her head. 

No. It wasn’t that she didn’t know. It was that she never allowed herself to want, so she shut it away instead, dismissing it as an unnecessary distraction just like she’d been taught. And now, she could understand why. Wanting something you couldn't have was almost maddening, and she almost wished she could box it up again, just compartmentalise it all and move on.

But now the box had well and truly burst open. Her heart was brimming with love, and she couldn’t just forget this. Couldn’t just move on, or focus on some other, greater destiny. She had to figure out a way to earn Catra’s forgiveness, somehow. She had to at least become her friend again, even if it took everything she had. 

Adora pressed her forehead against those precious words on the wall, and closed her eyes. She knew that this was turning into an endless battle of wills, of her convincing herself to try again, only for Catra to crush her spirit. But something had to give, eventually. It had to.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a few high pitched beeps from outside. _Shit_ , she thought, _someone’s opening the door!_

Adora dived down behind the crates, her heart hammering in her chest. Only one person knew the code, but she wasn’t ready to face Catra. Not yet. The doors whooshed open, and the cold outside air flooded the room, sending a chill up Adora’s spine. 

“I know you’re in here, Adora.”

_Shit_ , Adora thought. She hadn’t had time to think things through. She didn’t have a plan. She peered down at her sword, and grimaced at the thought of using it. Violence wasn’t the answer. It couldn’t be.

“You’re _so_ predictable,” Catra drawled, and Adora could hear her walking slowly towards her. “I figured since no skiffs were stolen, you’d have to have hidden away somewhere.”

Adora sighed. There was no running away from this. So she stood to her feet, and attempted a weak smile. “Surprise?”

Catra didn’t smile back. Instead, she flexed her fingers, and unsheathed her claws, her lips rising into a sinister smirk. “You said you were leaving. What happened, Adora?”

“I didn’t know that healing you would practically kill me! I’ve been sleeping this whole time.”

“Oh, really. And I wonder what the next excuse will be….”

Catra walked a few more paces forwards, and Adora subconsciously fumbled around for her blade, running her palm over the smooth end of the hilt. “Are you seriously going to fight me?”

Catra looked down at Adora’s hand, then scowled. “I preferred it when you were willing to die. Guess you’re going to make this hard for me, after all.”

The next thing Adora knew, Catra was in the air, claws lashing straight for her, and if she hadn’t grabbed her sword at that precise moment and neatly blocked the attack, Adora knew she would probably have a few deep gashes in her chest right about now. She shifted into a defensive stance, but she was an inch away from the wall, practically cornered.

“Why are you doing this?” Adora said, feeling her heart constrict. “I know I’ve made some pretty lousy decisions, but you can’t hate me _this_ much, Catra.”

Catra snarled and backed away a few steps, as though expecting a retaliation. She appeared confused when Adora didn’t make a move. “Are you forgetting how you almost killed me?”

“Oh come on!” Adora said, shaking her head. “You can’t seriously believe I’d ever want to hurt you.”

“Well you _did_ , Adora,” Catra snapped, baring her fangs. 

“That wasn’t me! I had to watch it all happen, and do you have any... _any_ idea how it felt to tear apart someone I love?”

A flicker of doubt crossed over Catra’s ferocious expression. “Stop saying that.”

“What, that I love you?”

“Argh!” Catra scrunched her fingers into her fringe. “I don’t need to hear it, Adora! I can’t even look at you without seeing _her_. Without feeling what she did to me. So you can’t stay, okay? You can’t stay and keep saying shit like this to me. It isn’t fair.”

“I-” Adora was lost for words, and felt overwhelmed by the sudden sincerity. Of course Catra couldn’t stand to be around her, it made perfect sense. She hated She Ra, was terrified of her, and Adora _was_ She Ra.

“Will you please just leave,” Catra said, retracting her claws, and stepping a few paces back. “I’m asking nicely this time.”

“I have a better idea,” Adora said, peering down at the sword, and then up at Catra. “For the honour of greyskull,” she continued, feeling her heart wrench as Catra’s ears folded down, and her eyes widened.

“Why,” Catra said, her tail swatting around. “Why are you doing this? Haven’t you done enough?!”

“Did you ever stop to think I can’t stand She Ra either?” Adora asked, gripping the hilt of her blade more tightly, “that turning into her makes me feel sick?”

She hated the feel of this alien body around her bones. She’d endured it to heal Catra, but it was clear to Adora now that in the wrong circumstances She Ra was nothing more than a weapon, a terrible, frightening weapon, just like the sword itself. And the way Catra was looking at her right now, with sheer terror in her eyes, was all the confirmation she needed.

“So why are you doing this if you hate her so much? Change _back_ already!”

“Because,” Adora said, smiling, “I don’t want her around any more than you do.”

“What? What are you-”

Adora didn’t waste any more time. She gripped the hilt with both hands, pointed the blade down, and _slammed_ it to the floor with all of her strength, shattering the weapon into a dozen pieces.

\--


	7. Close To The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

“Adora…” Catra said, her voice thick with emotion. “What have you done?”

Adora’s bright blue eyes peered up at her between messy, blonde strands of hair. She was on her knees, palms held flat against the floor, with small, sharp fragments of the sword scattered around her fingers.

“I… I think it worked,” Adora said. She slowly, carefully stood up, keeping one hand on the wall for balance. Then she brushed her fringe away from her face, and smiled. “She’s gone.”

Catra stared back at her blankly, feeling dumbfounded for a few moments, but then she was flooded with a torrent of unwelcome emotions, of confusion, pain and frustration. She choked them all back, and fought the urge to cry.

“You… you idiot!” 

Adora appeared to be taken aback. “I thought you’d be happy? Isn’t this what you wanted?!”

“Don’t you dare tell me you did this for me, Adora,” Catra said, stomping forwards, and jabbing a finger into her chest. “Because even if you did, it still doesn’t change a damn thing.” _Except it does_ , Catra thought, feeling her heart hammer in her chest. _It changes everything_. 

“I already told you,” Adora said, placing a hand over Catra’s finger. “I hated her too. I did this for both of us.”

Catra sharply pulled her hand away from the touch, disgusted by how her whole body tingled at the brief contact. “Well you wasted your time, because I couldn’t give a shit either way.”

Adora sighed, and shook her head. “I’m running out of ways to say I’m sorry...”

“I never asked you for anything,” Catra said, scowling. “You just came here and did everything that _you_ wanted to do. The sword,” Catra said, waving her hands over the broken fragments, “my leg,” she continued, pointing down. “You did it all to ease your own conscience. Did it work?” Catra asked, feeling her anger spill over. “Do you feel better, Adora? Do you feel _relieved?_ ”

“No,” Adora said, furrowing her eyebrows, “And yes.”

Catra laughed. “Knew it.”

“How could I not be relieved?” Adora snapped. “I literally had a monster living inside of me. You helped me realise that, and if you hadn’t... who knows what could have happened in the future? But do I feel better? No. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you, or hurting you. Never.”

Catra blew out a puff of air, and suddenly noticed the wall, right next to Adora. _Their_ wall. She could see it’d been cleaned, all of her scrawl clearly visible. She wondered if Adora had seen her secret addition, the one she made a few weeks before Adora left her. _I should claw it out_ , she thought, flattening her ears.

“I saw,” Adora said, following Catra’s gaze with her own, then trailing her fingers across the words. “And I’m so, so sorry…”

Catra’s fur stood on end. She felt violated. “Fuck you.”

Adora turned to face her, her eyes tinged with sadness. “Is it true?”

Catra stormed up to Adora, flexed her claws out and violently shredded the words from the wall, until there was nothing but a mass of deep grooves, and crumbling plaster.

“Not any more.”

The room fell silent. Dust from the carnage settled all around them, and then Catra noticed that Adora’s lower lip was trembling. She pushed back the urge to comfort her, and swallowed down how miserable all of this made her feel. 

“I just...” Adora said, swallowing thickly. “I miss you.”

Catra sucked in a sharp breath, and tried to ignore how deeply the words dug into her, how damp those baby blue eyes were, and how closely she was standing next to Adora. Close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from her. 

“The feeling isn’t mutual,” Catra said, balling her hands into fists, and digging her claws into her palms. “Just leave, Adora. Take all of your bullshit back to your Brightmoon buddies.”

“Catra, I’m staying-”

“No, you aren’t.”

“I am. I’ll play along with Shadow Weaver, and we can… we can-”

“We can _what_ , Adora?” Catra snapped, stepping forwards, until they were nose to nose. “Pretend everything’s okay?” she asked, forcing Adora to take a step backwards, until her back was pinned against what was left of their special wall. “Everything is _not_ okay. You. Still. Left. Me!” she yelled, slamming her hands into the concrete on either side of Adora’s face. “You still left me...”

Catra had never hated Adora as much as she did right now. She hated her for breaking her heart, hated her for making such a dumb sacrifice, hated her for giving up something so important on a whim, probably without any rational thought. She hated how Adora was looking at her, those bright blue eyes having the audacity to burn with a flicker of hope, and she _especially_ hated how she couldn’t stop wondering how Adora’s lips would feel pressed against hers right now.

And then Catra forgot about everything else, just for a second. Her entire soul screamed at her to lean forwards, kiss those delicious lips, and-

Adora lunged forwards, capturing Catra’s lips in a swift, gentle kiss, and it took Catra a few breaths to register what was happening. She pulled back, speechless, her lips tingling, her heart racing in her chest, a thousand emotions overwhelming her. It was too much, not helped at all by the way Adora was looking at her, eyes full of a special, grounding kind of warmth that Catra just wasn’t ready for.

She had to shut it all out, before she went mad. So she did, and she focused on the one emotion she knew best. _Hate_.

Catra growled and dove forwards, kissing Adora roughly, digging her nails behind that messy blonde hair, figuring maybe she could begin to return some of the hurt, some of the pain. What she didn't expect was the needy _whine_ from Adora, how it felt when it reverberated down her throat, or how easily Adora’s lips parted open. And Catra definitely wasn’t ready for the shiver that ran down her spine when their tongues finally met.

_Adora..._

It was like her whole body was on fire, like Adora was the missing piece in a centuries-old puzzle. For a few blissful moments Catra shut everything else out, save for the feel of Adora’s tongue as it rolled against hers, the heat of Adora’s body pressed tightly to her own, and the sounds of those desperate, hungry groans. Maybe some of them were even coming from Catra. She could barely tell the difference anymore, and her mind began to drift away to a beautiful, euphoric place.

But then Catra felt the rough, broken concrete behind her hands, and it brought her crashing back to reality. Catra didn’t need this. She didn’t need Adora. But she could see a way to unleash some of her pent-up rage, at least.

She pulled away from the kiss and placed a finger beneath Adora’s chin, tilting it upwards. “Tell me you want this,” she growled, pressing a knee to Adora’s crotch, and watching her pupils dilate. 

“More than anything,” Adora whispered, resting her hands on Catra’s hips.

“No,” Catra snapped, batting her arms away. “You don’t get to touch me.”

“O-okay-”

“You don’t get to talk either,” Catra said, sneering. “Just stay right there, and let me show you how much I despise you, Adora.”

She saw tears spring to Adora’s cheeks, and knew it was a mirror of her own pain, really. But she couldn’t help herself. She kissed her way across Adora’s soft, flushed skin, tasting those salty tears and chuckling to herself, despite how miserable she felt. “Oh, Adora. You always were a crier.”

Adora said nothing, but her breaths were ragged, and Catra could tell by how widely her pupils were blown that Adora would take anything she’d give her right now, even if it were delivered in the cruelest way she could muster. She twisted her lips into a grin and thrust her hand down, slipping her fingers beneath Adora’s underwear.

Adora’s hips darted forwards, all too eager to greet her hand, and when Catra discovered the wetness down there she barely suppressed her surprised groan. Instead, she huffed out a laugh against Adora’s lips. “Wow, you really _do_ want this,” she said, examining Adora’s face closely, watching her squeeze her eyes closed while she stroked her fingers around her swollen clit.

Some small part of Catra despaired that this was their first time, and that she was destroying something special, something sacred. But it didn’t matter. She was driven only by the deep ache inside her chest, and she wanted Adora to feel it too, wanted her to understand why she couldn’t be forgiven, wanted her to understand once and for all just how badly she’d broken her heart.

“Catra,” Adora said her name in a way Catra never thought she’d hear, whispered breathlessly, as though she were the only thing Adora could ever want, ever need. It threatened to shatter Catra’s resolve, and dig out unwelcome, deeply entrenched feelings.

Before Adora could make another sound Catra sealed her mouth with a rough kiss, then captured her lower lip in a threatening bite. “I told you to stay quiet,” she hissed, sliding two of her fingers between Adora’s drenched folds, then diving straight inside of her.

“Ah!” Adora yelped. Catra paused for the briefest of moments, wondering if Adora was okay, then growled in frustration. _Who gives a shit if she’s okay_ , she thought, thrusting her fingers into Adora again. Adora was soaking wet, writhing into her hand, and that told Catra everything she needed to know.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked the question anyway, hating herself for showing even a shred of concern. But even she couldn’t find the conviction to fuck Adora if Adora didn’t want it. Catra was a lot of things, but a rapist wasn’t one of them.

“No,” Adora said. She stared into Catra’s eyes, and Catra had to fight harder than ever to stop her feelings shifting from hate to something else, something softer, kinder, and from a long, long time ago. “I want you… even if it’s like this. Please...”

Catra gulped down a thick knot. “Stop talking,” she growled, thrusting her fingers over, and over, but with every whimper she coaxed from Adora, Catra’s anguish only became worse. It travelled like thick tar from her heart to her throat, until it started to spill out of her in hot, unwelcome tears. She quickly leaned forwards and hid her face away, her lips less than an inch from Adora’s pink-flushed ear. 

“I really...” Catra said, her breaths turning shallow while she desperately tried to fuck away the pain, “can’t... stand you.” 

Adora no longer seemed to care that Catra was being so openly cruel, in fact she was becoming wetter by the second. Catra panted against her neck, refusing to kiss her any more than she had to, and oh, she wanted to. She wanted to taste Adora in every way imaginable, and wanted to hear those three sweet words all over again.

_No_ , Catra thought, hating that she’d almost lost herself again in those needs, those wants. She didn’t _need_ Adora. Not even a little bit.

“You came back here,” Catra growled, surprised at how deep her voice sounded, “and started saying all this shit, just to get under my skin.”

“That’s not-” 

“Shut up!” Catra exclaimed, pressing the pad of her thumb against Adora’s clit, rolling it in swift circles. “I don’t need any of this, Adora. I don’t fucking need you!”

Catra watched Adora’s eyes snap closed, watched her dig her fingers into the wall behind, her fingertips turning white. Adora’s whole body was trembling, she was clearly hurtling towards the edge while making the most delicious, agonised sounds, begging quietly for Catra to keep going… and Catra was so close to losing every shred of her willpower, so close to letting Adora have that glorious, sweet, release, so close to finally seeing it and feeling it for herself.

But, Adora didn’t deserve that.

“Look at me,” Catra said, slowing her hand down, despite Adora’s frantic movements.

Adora’s eyes fluttered open, and Catra almost, for a split second, became lost in that desperate, hungry gaze. But she didn’t allow herself that luxury. Instead, she withdrew her hand at the last minute, and forced herself to sneer. 

“That’s all you get.”

“What? No… Catra… please…” Adora pleaded, appearing devastated, and Catra had to fight against every single atom in her body _screaming_ at her to fuck Adora, kiss those delicious pink cheeks, tip her over that edge, and watch her unravel, over and over again.

“Times it by a hundred, Adora,” Catra said, licking her fingers clean, barely stifling a moan at the delicious flavour, “And you’ll get close to how much you fucked me over.”

Adora blinked a few times, before grunting loudly and shaking her head. She fastened up her trousers, and started to gather up the fragments of the broken sword, placing them into an empty sack. “That was low, even for you.”

Catra shrugged. “Thanks. I try.”

“I’m still not leaving, just so you know.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Adora took a deliberate step forward, staring Catra down. “You can be as cruel as you want. I’m staying.”

“You think Shadow Weaver will want you now that you’re useless? Hah!” Catra said, pricking her ears up and laughing. “Good luck with that.”

“You seem to be forgetting I was doing just fine before She Ra came into the picture.”

“Whatever. Like I said, good luck,” Catra said, shrugging. She elbowed Adora out of the way, crouched down to grab a bottle of water from the storage container, and then walked nonchalantly out of the only place she’d ever called her home, without looking back.

\--

Once she knew that Adora wasn’t following or watching her, Catra increased her pace and stormed back towards the base, her head spinning and her heart swollen with conflicted emotions. Pain. Hate. Fear. And something else, something far more dangerous. 

Catra wished she could just shut it all out. This wasn’t the plan. She wasn’t supposed to let Adora get under her skin like this, but right now Adora was _everywhere_. Her taste, her scent, the smooth texture of her skin, and especially the way her pussy had felt, wet and hot, pulsing tightly around Catra’s fingers. 

By the time she got back to her room, Catra’s mind was reeling, and the heat between her legs was agonising. She slammed her door shut and leaned her back against it, diving her hand down her pants.

“Fuck,” she groaned, her knees almost giving way.

She rolled her fingers around her swollen clit while thinking about how it had felt to kiss Adora, taste that tongue against her own. _And those sounds_ , Catra thought. _Wow_. She never knew someone as sweet as Adora could groan like that. Never knew she could writhe, and whimper, and moan. Never knew she could be so needy. 

She never knew Adora’s taste would be quite so spectacular, either. She could still taste it on her tongue even now, a delicious mix of bitter and sweet. Then she remembered that Adora’s juices were plastered all over her fingers, and she couldn’t help but plunge them inside of herself, climaxing almost immediately just at the thought of having some small part of Adora inside of her.

_Nobody has to know_ , she thought, bucking desperately into her own hand, a low, deep groan rumbling down her throat, and tears spilling down her cheeks.

\--

Catra made it to her bed and brought herself to climax four more times before she was finally able to think clearly. And then she stared up at the ceiling, resting her arm over her damp forehead. 

_I really did that?_ She thought, blinking a few times. _I actually kissed Adora? I touched her? Fuck. Fuck!_

It seemed so surreal, now. Catra knew she’d been driven by rage, knew that she had been relentlessly cruel, knew that their first time should have been something special. And she knew that they probably both deserved better. After everything Catra had said she wouldn’t do, Adora was still her first everything, even now. And Catra had done what she did best; ruin it.

Fresh tears stung her eyes. Tears of shame, tears of regret.

She was tired of the thick feeling behind her throat making her want to lash out, and hurt and maim and destroy, like it’s all she could do, all she was capable of. Catra rolled onto her side, curled herself into a ball and sobbed quietly. She didn’t know what to do with this onslaught of feelings, and sometimes wished she could compartmentalise things like other people could. Like Adora could. 

And yet Adora had opened up right in front of her, and had not only wanted her, but practically _begged_ for her, for everything that she’d give. Adora had allowed herself to want something, for the first time in as long as Catra could remember, and she’d spat it right back in her face.

The thought made her feel rotten to her very core, and she squeezed herself into an even tighter, more miserable ball.

_But she deserved it_ , Catra thought, grimacing as more tears spilled forth. She knew, of course. Knew that she was just as unworthy, knew that she’d done unforgivable things too, not least of all severing their friendship instead of swallowing her pride.

But she also knew that she was only ever protecting herself. What scared her the most was just how much she wanted to touch Adora again, this time gently, this time to say how sorry she was while gazing into those soft blue eyes. Catra knew that if she fell into that trap, she’d fall for Adora all over again... and then get her heart broken, all over again. It was inevitable, and she knew she couldn’t survive it a second time.

“I’ll just stay away from her,” she muttered, sitting up and wiping her cheeks dry. Now that she was fit and healthy, she could request to go back out on the front lines for a while. _Yeah, that’s perfect_ , she thought. A way to put distance between them, to stop Adora crawling any further under her skin than she already had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the art, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/justpigeonblue)!


	8. Inch By Inch

**Adora**

Adora’s heart hadn’t stopped aching. A while ago she’d watched Catra leave, and decided to give her some space, despite how much she’d wanted to follow. 

Instead, she’d locked the door and stayed behind, allowing herself time to gather her thoughts, time to make some kind of plan on what to do next. But every time she tried to think of a way forward, even if it was just one tiny step, she instead became lost in her recent memories.

Like she was doing right now.

She was sitting on their stolen pile of blankets, with her back against their special wall, her eyes closed while she stroked the tips of her trembling fingers across her lower lip. It was as though she could still taste Catra’s lips, and feel her rough kisses.

Adora had gladly accepted that unbridled rage, all of it. She’d relished the chance at intimacy, despite Catra’s words bringing her to tears, and she couldn’t find it in herself to feel angry, or bitter, or even humiliated. Because she finally understood. She finally knew why Catra was lashing out like this, and to this extent.

All this time she’d been convinced that She Ra was to blame for everything. But that was only a part of a bigger problem, a problem she’d caused when she left in the middle of the night and turned her back on everything that she’d built with Catra. Their whole life they’d had each other, and only each other, and then Adora had thrown it away. And for what? Because the Horde was evil? She’d broken every promise she’d ever made, and now she knew that it wasn’t enough that she’d tried over and over to convince Catra to join her. No, Adora’s biggest mistake had been not fighting harder, not coming back sooner, not doing whatever it took to build that life they had always said they’d have together.

Of course back then it had been nothing but childhood fantasies, secrets whispered in the middle of the night, about how they’d one day run away together, or even take over this place and rule it, hand in hand. But those old, hushed secrets took on a whole new meaning now that Adora finally understood her own heart, and understood that Catra had felt this way all along.

But then, Adora had ruined it, and broken their trust. She couldn’t begin to imagine how much pain she’d caused, because she’d only allowed herself the luxury of feeling this way for a few maddening weeks. Not months, and especially not years. And if her heart felt as though it were breaking apart from Catra’s constant rejection, then what did Catra feel? What had she felt the night that Adora left her, walking away as though Catra meant nothing to her?

She had felt Catra’s pain in those scathing touches against her flesh. Heard it in Catra’s deep, pained voice, a voice that didn’t sound like the Catra she knew at all. And then worst of all she’d seen it, in the moment that Catra had pulled her hand away and Adora had snapped her eyes open, only to find tears streaming down Catra’s furious, scrunched up face.

_I’m such an idiot_ , Adora thought, as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She ground her teeth together and banged the back of her head against the wall, choking out a frustrated sob. How could she not have known she’d broken her best friend’s heart? How could she not have seen it?

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Adora now had to accept that there was _another_ time she’d hurt her. It was the night she’d admitted to Catra just how much she liked her, only to act like it didn’t matter the very next day. _Because rules are way more important_ , Adora thought, rolling her eyes at her oblivious sixteen year old self. 

Catra had been furious, of course, and at the time Adora had never really understood why. But she understood now. All of that boiling rage, that incessant fury. It was the only way Catra knew to express her pain, pain that Adora had caused… and now it felt like it was happening all over again.

“I’d better check she’s okay,” Adora muttered, an icy chill running through her veins when she remembered exactly what happened on that fateful day, when Catra’s anger led to terrible repercussions.

\--

“Catra, please stop!” Adora said, grabbing onto Catra’s arm. “You need to calm down!”

“Get off of me!” Catra snapped, tugging her arm away. “Don’t tell me what to do, Adora.”

Adora felt miserable. She’d taken Shadow Weaver’s side, again, and now Catra was on a warpath, kicking around cleaning supplies and wrecking the mess hall, despite being told to clean it. There were fresh claw marks in two of the wooden tables, and Catra’s anger was palpable.

“Why are you so angry? I only did it to stop her from hurting you-”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Catra exclaimed, throwing a pile of plastic food trays onto the floor, where they loudly scattered. “We weren’t doing anything wrong! You could have taken my side, just for _once!_ ”

“But you know we aren’t allowed to share beds, or talk about that kind of stuff,” Adora said, then covered her mouth with her hand when she noticed Catra’s shocked expression.

“I can’t believe I almost told you…” 

“Told me what?”

“Whatever!” Catra spat. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her face twisted into a grimace. “Just get out of my way, Adora!”

“What is the meaning of this?!” Shadow Weaver’s voice boomed across the room, sending a chill down Adora’s spine. She was too late. This was all her fault… she should never have told Catra she liked her, in fact she should never have felt that way in the first place. All it had done was make everyone angry, after all.

“Fuck you!” Catra hissed, throwing a mop bucket straight at Shadow Weaver.

Adora watched, mortified, as the bucket levitated in mid-air, then fell to the floor. A few seconds of devastating silence passed, during which Catra’s scathing stare slowly shifted from righteous fury to sheer terror.

“How _dare_ you,” Shadow Weaver said, raising a hand and abruptly trapping Catra within a crimson force field. She turned to face Adora, scowling. “Adora, leave us.”

“I… I won’t!” Adora said, balling her hands into fists.

“You will do as you are _told!_ ” Shadow Weaver yelled, but Adora stood her ground. She couldn’t take her side again, not this time.

“No. I won’t let you hurt her.”

“Enough!” Shadow Weaver boomed, and for once, Adora was also surrounded in that eerie red glow, where she found herself completely unable to move. All she could do was watch as Shadow Weaver’s dark magic slammed Catra against the wall, then began to choke the life out of her. 

“Stop it,” Adora pleaded, managing to force the words out despite the magical hold. “Please…”

But Shadow Weaver only intensified the spell in response, causing Catra to scream out in pain, her body contorting into an almost impossible position.

Catra’s desperate, pained whimpers echoed around the empty kitchen, and Adora couldn’t stand it anymore. Something in her snapped and she roared, diving forwards and tackling Shadow Weaver roughly to the floor, where they both landed in a pile. Adora quickly scrambled away, fearing a harsh reprimand for such behaviour.

Shadow Weaver seemed disorientated for a moment, but then she stood slowly to her feet. She looked down at Adora, and arched an eyebrow. “Adora. What did you just-”

“Just leave her alone!” Adora said, grimacing. “I’ll clean up. So please… just leave her alone.”

Shadow Weaver studied Adora for a few more moments, before sighing. “See to it this place is as good as new. If she survives, you’d better tell her to never speak to me that way again.”

“If she..?” Adora began, watching as Shadow Weaver left the room without a single glance backwards. Then she scurried on all fours to Catra’s motionless form, finding her barely conscious, and clearly struggling to breathe.

Adora didn’t know what to do. She didn’t even know how badly Catra was hurt. So she squeezed her eyes shut, wrapped her arms around her and sobbed, her heart throbbing painfully in her chest. She knew she should take her to the medical bay, but she was scared that if she let her go, she’d lose her.

“Adora,” Catra eventually spoke, and Adora snapped her eyes open, pulling back from the embrace to find Catra staring right back. Adora could swear she saw a golden tinge around her, just for a second, before it vanished.

“Y-You’re okay?!”

“I… guess so,” Catra said, rubbing her eyes. “What happened?”

“Shadow Weaver…” Adora began, before shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter. You should go and rest.”

“Why? I feel fine,” Catra said, standing up and stretching out. “Better than ever, in fact. Maybe that old drunk accidentally powered me up, hah!”

“Yeah, maybe,” Adora said, yawning. She felt so tired all of a sudden. Even the thought of standing up seemed impossible. So she leaned over, rested on her side on the cold, tiled floor, and then closed her eyes.

“Adora? Adora!”

\--

When she woke up , Adora found herself in her bed. She noticed that there was a small folded piece of paper by her pillow, which she picked up and unfolded, blinking the sleep out of her eyes before she could read it.

_Adora… I don’t think we can be friends any more. So just stay away from me, okay? Don’t talk to me from now on. Don’t even look at me. Let’s just focus on our training._

_I’m sorry, but it’s for the best._

_p.s. I took care of the kitchen, don’t worry. (it was my mess anyway)_

Adora balled up the piece of paper and began to cry. She didn’t understand why Catra was so angry, but she figured it must be because she’d told her how she felt, and Catra was probably weirded out by it or something. It was probably better to not feel that way at all, just like Shadow Weaver had told her, over and over. It was only a distraction, after all. And this time, it had cost Adora her closest friend.

\--

Adora barged past a few surprised guards on the way back to the central compound. She ran past the prison block and up the north corridor, where she heard Catra’s loud, angry voice coming from further ahead, from Shadow Weaver’s room, just as she’d feared. 

“Just send me out already! What’s your problem?”

“There is nothing you can offer in Salineas that we do not already- ah, Adora,” Shadow Weaver said, appearing far too happy to see her. “I see you decided to stay, after all.”

“Seriously?” Catra snarled, turning to face Adora. “Wow. You’re worse than a leech.”

Shadow Weaver chuckled as she looked between the two of them. “Catra was just telling me she wishes to join our forces in Salineas. Does this sudden burning desire to leave the Fright Zone have anything to do with you?”

“It’s got nothing to do with her! I’m just bored of this shitty place-”

“Silence!” Shadow Weaver yelled, clearly becoming agitated.

“No!” Catra exclaimed, balling her hands into fists and taking an angry step forwards. “You always make it about her! This is about _me_ , okay? It’s about what _I_ want to do.”

“Do you actually think I care?” Shadow Weaver asked, shaking her head. “Perhaps I will send you out, after all. Both of you. At least Adora could prove useful in turning the tides.”

“Hah, that’s what you think,” Catra said, folding her arms and appearing pleased with herself. “She’s even more useless than I am, now. I’m a magicat. She’s nothing. Not anymore, at least. Isn’t that right, Adora?” she purred, turning around to grin wickedly at Adora.

“I, uh-” Adora began, gulping when Shadow Weaver peered somewhere behind her.

“Adora. Where is your sword?”

“She decided she doesn’t need She Ra,” Catra said, batting her tail around. “Which means we don’t need Adora. So just send me out already, and throw her back in a cell.”

“Show me,” Shadow Weaver said, ignoring Catra while pointing towards Adora’s shoulder bag.

Adora took a deep breath and opened the bag, pulling out the broken hilt and thrusting it forwards. “Catra’s right. We don’t need She Ra.”

The atmosphere in the room changed immediately, and Shadow Weaver seemed to double in size. “What have you done!?”

“She was dangerous!” Adora snapped, taking a step forward despite the ominous, powerful presence. “She could have killed anyone here. I couldn’t… I couldn’t control her…”

Shadow Weaver’s eyes turned wide, and she pointed a single sharp fingernail towards Catra. “This is YOUR doing.”

“What!?” Catra exclaimed, her tail fur standing on end. “How do you work that out?”

“Had you not meddled with her powers, she would never have experienced such doubt in her abilities,” Shadow Weaver said, raising a hand, fingers splayed out. “You have disappointed me for the last time, Catra, and I have had _enough_ of your insolence.”

“No, wait... Argh!” Catra choked as she was hoisted roughly into the air and flipped upside down, black and crimson tendrils crawling all over her form.

“Stop it!” Adora yelled. She tried to lunge forwards, but Shadow Weaver’s magic held her fast.

“This is for your own good, Adora,” Shadow Weaver said, clenching her hand into a fist. “It is about time that I took away the one thing that has been holding you back.”

Adora felt powerless while she watched Shadow Weaver choke the very life out of Catra, like so many times before. It felt as though she were a child again, except this time she knew that Shadow Weaver fully intended to kill Catra, and the thought of it caused Adora to feel sick.

How many times had it been, now? How many times had Catra suffered like this? Adora felt her nausea rapidly shift into a sweltering rage, searing through her unlike anything she’d ever experienced, until she was furious, boiling with a righteous fury that rattled her very bones.

“I said stop it!” Adora yelled, shattering the barrier around her.

But Shadow Weaver didn’t stop. Catra’s form twisted around, her spine arched backwards, and a loud scream escaped her lips, snapping whatever threads of sanity Adora had left. She gripped the hilt of her broken sword and drove it forwards with a loud yell, plunging all three inches of steel into Shadow Weaver’s chest, ramming her against the shelves behind.

Books and vials fell down from the sudden impact, landing noisily on the floor, but Adora barely noticed. She didn’t even register the surprised expression in Shadow Weaver’s white, glowing eyes. She just pushed her sword forwards, one palm flat against the rounded edge of the hilt, until that thin, tall body was pinned tightly against the shelving behind. And then she kept on pushing. She didn’t stop when Shadow Weaver’s scream echoed around the room, nor did she stop when she heard fragile bones crunch, and felt the hilt sink an inch further. 

And only then, thanks to the deafening silence that followed, did she stop.

Adora’s pulse rang loudly in her ears, and she stood there, panting, until the red haze fell away from her vision. Then she looked down at her hands, finding them soaked with crimson, thin rivers of blood streaming down around the spiral ridges in the hilt, and between her fingers.

“Adora?” It was Catra’s voice. Adora blinked a few times, then let go of the sword and stepped backwards, falling onto her ass. She watched in horror as Shadow Weaver’s body collapsed to the floor, and a dark red stain pooled around the surrounding grey carpet, growing larger by the minute.

“I… I didn’t mean to,” Adora said, her voice barely a whisper. She held up her trembling, crimson-stained hands, and stared at them.

There was a flurry of movement from the corner of the room, and Adora knew that Catra was about to finish her off, at last. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t move. But instead, Catra knelt down in front of her, and placed her hands upon her shoulders.

“Hey, snap out of it,” she said, speaking quietly. 

Adora shook her head rapidly. She hadn’t expected Catra to show any kindness, and it was too much to bear. She felt her whole world crumbling, her voice trapped in her throat, silent tears flowing down her cheeks. She couldn't believe what she’d done. She remembered the sound of Shadow Weaver’s ribs cracking, and she batted one of Catra’s arms away before doubling over, emptying the contents of her stomach.

She felt Catra’s hand on her back, rubbing. “Good… get it all out.”

Once she’d finished, Adora shuffled away from the mess, away from Shadow Weaver’s corpse, and away from Catra, until she was backed up against the opposite wall. She wiped the back of her sleeve against her mouth, and folded her knees into her chest, hugging them tightly. 

Adora felt freezing cold, and she couldn’t stop shivering.

Eventually she stole a glance upwards, finding that Catra was on her feet again, facing away, quietly looking down at Shadow Weaver’s body. Her arms were folded, and her tail slowly twitched around behind.

When she turned to face Adora, there were tears streaking down her cheeks, but there was no malice in her eyes, no hate, only softness. Adora covered her mouth with her hand, and choked out a loud sob. She knew that she needed Catra, more than ever. 

If only she hadn’t destroyed their friendship.

If only she could feel those arms around her, offering her some form of comfort.

And then, it actually happened. Catra strode forwards, knelt down and swooped her arms around Adora, holding her closely. Adora was stunned, but a few moments later her face crumpled, and she completely broke down. She unfolded herself from her knees, wrapped her arms around Catra’s shoulders, and clung on tightly, as though her life depended on it, crying loudly and openly against the crook of Catra’s neck

“Catra, I…”

“Shh, it’s okay.”

In any other circumstance, Adora would feel elation from experiencing such genuine, honest warmth from Catra. She’d enjoy the gentle palm stroking her back, offering her reassurance. But all she felt right now was a cold, thick numbness in her chest, threatening to freeze her from the inside out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the art, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1306327169627549697)!


	9. I'll Be Your Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

Catra didn’t know what to feel. She didn't have time to process the fact that Shadow Weaver was actually gone. She felt like she should be happy, but instead she felt lost, and confused. And worse, she was crying, actually _crying_ , for Shadow Weaver of all people, and she didn’t understand why.

_She literally tried to kill me_ , Catra thought. She believed she’d been done for this time, too. She thought her bones would have been twisted and broken, and thought every breath would be her last. But then the vicious magic had stopped, and she’d watched as Adora plunged that broken sword further and further into Shadow Weaver’s chest.

It was brutal. She’d seen Adora’s face, contorted into a mask of rage. It was something she’d never thought she’d witness, not from Adora, at least.

“Catra, I…”

Adora had actually snapped, had actually killed someone, and Catra couldn’t help but feel the weight of responsibility for it. She knew now that she should have been kinder. She should have taken Adora’s words seriously, should have offered her something other than hate in return. She certainly should have done something more than selfishly, hatefully fuck her against a wall, as though Catra’s own feelings were the only ones that mattered.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

She felt Adora’s tears seep into the fur at her neck, felt her cling to her desperately while loudly sobbing. Catra had never seen Adora this vulnerable before, and it felt as though her own heart might burst. 

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice cracking. “We’ll be okay.”

Catra clung onto Adora just as tightly, and soon felt overwhelmed. The loss of a mother figure, despite it being a terrible, murderous one, was bad enough, but the thought that Adora had blood on her hands and it was all her fault was more than she could bear. 

“Adora, I’m so sorry…”

Catra began to cry, too. She let everything spill out, until her hot floods of tears made it difficult to breathe. She was done fighting, tired of pretending that she’d ever wanted anything other than the woman in her arms, and if feeling this way made her weak, she didn’t even care anymore. She finally got it. Finally understood that Adora did love her, every bit as much as she loved her.

\--

Eventually their tears stopped, and the room fell eerily silent. Catra pulled away from the embrace, wiped away her own tears, and then Adora’s, too, but Adora flinched ever so slightly at the contact, and Catra felt appalled at herself for assuming her touch would ever be welcome again.

“Sorry,” she muttered, pulling her hand away. 

“No,” Adora said, grasping weakly for it, then squeezing Catra’s fingers. “It’s okay.”

Catra managed a weak smile, feeling surprised and relieved from the simple gesture. But Adora’s eyes were duller than ever, and Catra wasn’t sure what to do. So she tried again, raised her hand and slowly, gently wiped away the residual tears from Adora’s cheeks with her thumb. 

“You’re hurt,” whispered Adora. She gently stroked her fingers across Catra’s sore neck, and the soft, undeserved affection made Catra feel like crying all over again.

“I’ll live,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Thanks to you.” 

Adora blinked a few times, and then grimaced. “I… I really killed her.”

“She was going to kill me,” said Catra. She tipped her forehead to Adora’s. “You know it. I know it.”

Adora shook her head, and fresh tears appeared at her cheeks. Catra knew what she was going through, of course. She still remembered the first time she’d killed someone - a young, Plumerian boy, about their age. She’d watched his eyes glaze over, and smelt his blood beneath her claws for days afterwards. Adora was going to need time, but unfortunately, time was the one luxury they didn’t have.

Catra decided to take a risk, and change tact. She kept her palms against Adora’s cheeks and leaned forwards, capturing her lips in as gentle a kiss as she could muster. “You’re an idiot.”

“Huh?”

“You saved me.”

“I didn’t have to kill her!”

Catra kissed her again. “She had it coming.”

“But…”

“Adora,” Catra said, kissing her a third time. “I need you to snap out of it, okay? We have bigger problems to deal with.”

Adora breathed against her lips, and her eyes became more focused. “Wait. You’re… you’re kissing me now…?”

Catra smiled brightly, pleased that her little distraction had worked so far, and that she could see the tiniest of sparks in Adora’s brilliant blue eyes.

“Seems that way. Come on,” she said, standing up and holding her hand out. “We need to leave, now.”

Adora didn’t say another word. She nodded mutely, and accepted Catra’s hand, standing to her feet. 

The two of them stood there side by side for a moment, staring down at Shadow Weaver’s corpse. Catra felt cold resentment seep into her bones. Even in death, Shadow Weaver was a pain in their ass, because now they had no choice but to run, as far away as possible.

\--

“Pack as much as you can carry,” Catra said, tossing a large, empty satchel to Adora. “Your old stuff is in the bottom drawer.”

Adora rummaged through the lower drawer, and her eyes widened. “You kept all this?”

Catra felt heat rush to her cheeks. She’d always planned to throw all those clothes out, one day, but never had the conviction to go through with it. She wanted to say something mean, or hurtful to hide her embarrassment, but she knew Adora was hanging on by a thread right now, so she forced herself to remain calm.

“Yes. In case you came back,” she said, simply. It wasn’t far from the truth anyway.

They packed quickly and in silence, adding essentials like, food, water, and survival gear. 

\--

By the time they were finished it was late, and dark outside. Sneaking around the central zone was made easy by the fact, and other than a near-miss from one patrol, Catra had little trouble in sneaking all the way to the garage, with Adora following closely behind. 

They quietly climbed into the large building through a rear window, and after checking the coast was clear, Catra began to scan the vehicles inside, weighing up their options, then settling on one of the four skiffs in the front row.

“This one’ll do,” whispered Catra. She quietly slid her bag behind a seat, then jumped into the chair and started to check over a few readings on the dashboard.

Adora placed her bag just behind the second seat, then hopped into it and leaned over, peering over Catra’s shoulder. “Full tank?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, before taking a deep breath. “You ready?”

She’d chosen one of the newer, slightly larger skiffs, with two seats at the front, and luggage space in the back, complete with weapons, camping gear and extra rations already stashed away, as standard. Catra waited for Adora to nod, then started up the engine and guided the skiff outside.

“Halt! Who goes there?”

“Shit,” Catra muttered, wincing when the guard’s flashlight scanned past her eyes. She could probably use her Force Captain status to explain why they were taking an unauthorised vehicle in the middle of the night, but time wasn’t on their side. Shadow Weaver’s body could be found at any minute.

“I said halt!”

Catra suddenly felt Adora’s hand rest above hers on the central handle, where she pressed down, forcing the skiff to accelerate rapidly out of the garage. “Uh, Adora?”

Adora didn’t reply. She stared dead ahead and practically mowed the guard down, or would have, if he hadn’t jumped out of the way at the last minute. It was actually a sound decision, but it bothered Catra that it was so out of character for her. 

_She’s in shock_ , Catra reasoned. She would have to try to deal with that later. For now, she allowed Adora to pilot the skiff. She seemed determined, and the distraction might be good for her. Just as they were nearing the north exit, sirens wailed loudly, all around.

“Shit,” cursed Catra. Either the body had been found, or Adora’s near-roadkill had sounded the alarm. “Floor it!”

Adora nodded, and the skiff accelerated to maximum speed in no time at all. Catra watched, almost in awe, as Adora skillfully avoided another two patrols - thankfully without mowing them over - and then slipped the skiff beneath the metal, rapidly-closing doors of the exit, making it with maybe an inch to spare.

And then they were out in the open, sailing at dizzying speeds across the vast, dry and barren expanse of the fright zone. Catra pressed a button to unfurl the main sail, then knelt on her chair and opened up the weapons compartment behind. She grabbed an energy rifle, and sat down again.

“We’ll have company soon.”

“You drive, I’ll shoot,” said Adora, reaching for the gun.

Catra passed it over, knowing full well that now wasn’t the time to argue. She wasn’t the best shot anyway, whereas Adora was a skilled marksman. She placed her hand on the lever and kept the skiff at full throttle, guiding them out towards the east. Catra figured if they could get to one of the surrounding forests, they could find adequate cover and rest up for the night. And then, if Adora was a bit more with it, they could plan whatever came next.

\--

Sometimes, Catra hated being right. Especially now, with three other skiffs hot on their tail, quickly gaining on them. Most likely it was their extra luggage that had cost them precious speed.

“Keep her steady,” Adora yelled, tying her hair up. She turned around, rested her arms over the padded seat, and adopted a stable sniping position. Then she unfolded the long range reticle from the weapon, switched the beam to snipe mode, and squinted before taking a shot.

A second later one of the three skiffs exploded, and Catra had to take evasive action to avoid the return fire from the other two. “Adora…”

“I’m on it,” she said. 

_Boom_ , another one down. For the first time in a long while, Catra felt glad that Adora had to be so damn perfect, that she was one of the Horde’s most elite soldiers.

A shot sizzled past Catra’s left ear, sizzling fur and flesh alike. “Ow!”

Adora grunted and took a third shot, and Catra wasn’t surprised in the least when she heard a third explosion. She peered around her shoulder, finding smoking wreckage and a way-too obvious trail of carnage.

“Are you okay?” Adora asked, quickly shoving the weapon into a gap by the side of her chair, and then leaning over the central handle.

Catra hissed in pain when Adora touched what she assumed was a missing chunk of her ear. “I’m fine. Just please tell me I still have an ear.”

Adora made a sound that almost resembled a laugh. “It’s still there, just a little charred. It’ll probably scar.”

“I bet it’ll look badass.”

“Probably,” said Adora, before sitting back down with a deep sigh.

Catra glanced across at her. “Hey. You okay?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Catra realised it was a stupid question, anyway. Adora had taken her first life, and probably a few more just now, all in the space of a couple of hours. She just hoped a good night’s rest would help, assuming they got that far, at least.

\--

Nobody else chased them, though that didn’t stop Catra checking over her shoulder every few minutes. Her ear had finally stopped stinging, but Adora still hadn’t really talked, at all. She was very much in solider-mode right now, but if that’s what it took for them to survive, it was probably for the best.

Still, Catra couldn't help but worry. She wanted to pull the skiff over, and give Adora all the love in the world. She wanted to try and make all this right, somehow.

“Are we going into the forest?” asked Adora, staring ahead.

There were trees lined up all along the horizon, as far as the eye could see. Catra knew it was a gamble to venture into hostile territory, but if they stayed on the outskirts of the woods, they shouldn’t be detected.

“Yeah,” said Catra. “Think you can squeeze us in somewhere?” 

“Affirmative,” Adora said, then she frowned, and quickly shook her head. “Sorry. I mean yeah. Should be able to.”

“Hey,” Catra said, resting her hand above Adora’s. “It’ll be okay.”

She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Adora, or herself. Probably both.

\--

“How’s this?” asked Adora.

They’d travelled about a mile into Plumeria’s forest, and Adora had pulled the skiff up in a large clearing. It was pitch black, so Catra pulled out a small LED lamp from her bag, then hopped down from the skiff to check the area for any immediate threats. 

“Looks good,” she said, placing the lamp on the ground. “Let’s set up camp.”

Adora grabbed the rolled up tent from the back of the skiff and shook it vigorously, popping it open and laying it on a flat, grassy patch of land.

Catra grabbed her backpack and their sleeping mats, crawled into the tent, and unrolled the mats beside each other. She placed her bag by the foot of her bed, then realised she’d forgotten something. “Hey, grab the pillows?”

“On it.”

A minute later Adora ducked her head through the tent flap, passed the pillows across, deposited her bag inside, and then vanished from view.

Catra sat up, and frowned. “Where are you going?”

“Just grabbing the light,” said Adora. She kicked her boots off outside, then ducked into the tent again, this time holding the small, softly glowing lamp.

Catra smiled as she suddenly remembered how Adora always used to be afraid of the dark. “Some things never change, huh.”

“Hmm?” Adora shuffled into the tiny enclosed area on all fours, placed the light between the narrow gap above their pillows, then sat upright, facing Catra.

“Nothing,” Catra said, watching the small flicker of the orange lamp reflected in Adora’s blue eyes. “Hey, Adora…”

Adora blinked a few times, as though confused. “Hey…”

“Are you going to be okay? Today was… well… something else.”

There was the briefest hint of a smug smile on Adora’s lips, much to Catra’s relief. “Are you actually worried about me?”

Catra reached a hand to Adora’s blonde hair, and twirled a few strands in her fingers. “I might be.”

Adora nuzzled against Catra’s hand, and placed her hand over it, holding it to her cheek. The sudden display of affection startled Catra, and she felt her heart hammer in her chest. 

Adora sighed. “Catra, I…”

Catra stroked her thumb gently against Adora’s cheek, waiting for her to continue.

“I keep replaying it, over and over,” Adora said. She removed her hand from Catra’s, then started to rub at the dried blood stains on her palms and fingers. “Whoever was chasing us back then… they’re probably not okay, either.”

Catra swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. She hated that it took Adora getting blood on her hands for her to realise she’d been telling the truth, all along. It wasn’t a lie, wasn’t some grand scheme to make her come undone at the seams. Adora loved her, and she loved Adora. They were both just idiots.

“Give me your hands,” Catra said, rummaging in her backpack until she found the pack of antiseptic wipes. Then she went to work, carefully, thoroughly cleaning the dried, brown blood from Adora’s roughly calloused palms, and from beneath her fingernails.

“Better?”

“A little,” said Adora. “Pass them over?”

Catra nodded, and handed over the packet of tissues. Adora took a couple of wipes out, then shuffled forwards until she was almost nose to nose with Catra. She focused somewhere to the left of Catra’s head, and started to gently wipe at her ear.

“How’s it looking?” Catra asked. 

“Small wound at the edge. Like half a coin’s been cut out,” said Adora, tilting her head. “I think it’s cute.”

“Hah, thanks,” Catra said, stretching out and yawning. She waited for Adora to shuffle back to her own mat, but she didn’t, and Catra longed to lean forwards and pull her into a hug. She just wasn’t sure she had any right to think or feel that way any more, not after what she’d done.

“Catra,” sighed Adora. “Are you ever going to kiss me?”

The question startled Catra. “Huh?”

“It really helped earlier,” Adora said, the sides of her brows lowering. “So, please…”

Catra didn’t need to be asked a second time. She understood all too well why Adora needed a distraction right now, and it was the least she could do. Her heart soared as she scooted forwards, wrapping her arms around Adora and kissing her, and from the way Adora clung on behind her shoulders and tugged at her clothes she knew Adora needed more than a kiss. A lot more.

Adora peeled her own top off, and then they frantically undressed one another. With every layer of clothing that was shed their kisses became more heated, more intense, more demanding. By the time they were naked Catra had never felt so turned on, so drenched, so desperate to be fucked. She didn’t protest at all when Adora leaned over her, pushing her to the mat while peppering her with hungry kisses, sharp teeth, and tender, warm touches. 

“Adora…” Catra whimpered, writhing shamelessly beneath those loving hands. She didn’t need to hold back anymore. Didn’t need to pretend. It was Adora, after all. The love of her life. Her first and only everything.

And so she surrendered herself completely, watching Adora’s hair trickle down her bare torso, trembling in anticipation as those lips trailed closer and closer to her breast. When Adora’s mouth sealed around one of her nipples Catra cried out, clutching at Adora’s head. It was the best kind of pain, hot and searing, jumping from that teasing, swirling tongue, straight to her crotch.

Catra was already so close to coming, just from this. She felt like she might actually die if Adora didn’t touch her soon, felt like her heart might explode if she didn’t feel that tongue on her clit, feel those fingers stretch her out. She needed it more than she needed air.

“Adora. I... I need you.”

Catra’s voice was hoarse, her throat was dry. It became dryer still when Adora’s sweet, teasing mouth released her captive nipple, only to slowly kiss down her abdomen, one agonising inch at a time. Catra rested her hands on Adora’s head, pushing, and she thought she heard Adora chuckle at her silent demand. 

Bright blue eyes peered up from between her legs, then a sudden, wet heat stroked across her clit, and Catra became undone.

“Ah, fuck!” she cried out, lacing her fingers into those blonde, messy strands, and tugging. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold out for more than a few seconds, not when Adora’s tongue was gliding perfect circles like that, not when Adora’s breath was panting hotly against her pussy.

Catra was about to spill over, but then she felt Adora shift between her legs, felt Adora’s lips seal around her clit, sucking hungrily, and felt her fingers drive into her. Catra _howled_ , her abdomen tensing as she immediately came, sobbing incoherently while rocking against Adora’s mouth. It felt so good, better than anything she’d ever imagined, a hundred times better than her own hands. So good, in fact that the moment her orgasm ebbed away, another one suddenly washed over her and she came all over again, kneading her fingers into Adora’s scalp.

When she regained her senses, Catra opened her eyes only to find Adora’s soft, blue gaze right in front of her. She leaned forwards and kissed her, not minding at all that she tasted herself on those lips.

“That was…” Adora said, stroking Catra’s cheek. “Wow…”

“Adora,” Catra began, feeling suddenly emotional. “I’m so, so sorry. For everything.”

Adora nuzzled her nose to Catra’s, and hummed. “I’m pretty sure you just made it up to me.”

Catra burst into laughter. It felt good, freeing, even. “You… you idiot.”

_I love you._

She placed both her palms on Adora’s cheeks and kissed her again, and again, this time easing her down to the mat. Catra wanted to take her time, wanted to turn Adora’s world upside down. She owed Adora that and so much more, but it seemed Adora had other ideas. Every time Catra tried to slowly tease her, kiss her, touch her, Adora only demanded that she move faster.

“Catra, please…” Adora said, grabbing her wrist. “If you don’t touch me right now I think I’ll die.”

Catra bit her lip and groaned. She eased her hand down and hungrilly kissed Adora, swallowing her whimpers while her fingers went to work, rolling smooth circles around Adora’s damp, stiffened clit. 

“More,” Adora mumbled, her eyes fluttering closed. “Inside.”

Catra never imagined Adora could be so lustful, so needy, but she was delighted by the discovery. She dipped her hand lower, then groaned, finding a pool of wetness which quickly drenched her entire hand. She slowly eased two fingers inside of that warm, wet heat, and Adora’s long, breathy sigh made Catra want to be fucked by her all over again. 

“Catra,” Adora groaned, grasping at her back. 

Catra knew Adora was close, could hear it in her desperate whimpers, feel it in the erratic thrusts of her hips, and in the way her soft, wet walls clenched around her fingers. She thrust lovingly into Adora, over and over, pressing the heel of her palm against her swollen bud, watching, stunned, as Adora writhed eagerly beneath her.

Adora grunted, and glared at Catra. “Stop holding back. I need you to fuck me.”

Catra was taken aback for half a second, but then she growled deeply, her only remaining shreds of sanity snapping. She relentlessly slammed her fingers into Adora’s slick, while grinding her own pussy against Adora’s cum-soaked, tense thigh. 

“Yes!” Adora suddenly thrust her head back into the pillow, blonde strands of hair framing her pink-flushed face. 

Catra felt Adora’s inner walls pulse around her fingers, and watched in awe as Adora squeezed her eyes closed and grit her teeth, her neck tensing, her whole body quivering.

“Catra, I’m... com… coming...” Adora choked out the words, grabbing onto Catra’s hand and locking it in place while her hips bucked wildly. 

Watching Adora completely unravel was so agonisingly beautiful, so utterly breathtaking, that Catra was soon coming all over again, grinding her clit frantically against Adora’s drenched thigh. Her climax shuddered through her while Adora’s name spilled from her lips, over and over.

Catra was falling in love all over again, and she accepted it completely.

\--

“How’re you feeling?” Catra asked, stroking her hand up and down Adora’s back.

“Better,” smiled Adora. “I really, really needed that.”

Catra smirked. “Yeah. Me too.”

She knew that Adora would need time to heal, especially after some of the things she’d put her through. She also knew that they both had a rough, uncertain road ahead, and that she had a lot to make up for. But for now, while she laid peacefully with Adora in the still of the night, she felt like they could just forget about all of that. Just for once. Just for now.

Adora suddenly chuckled, and Catra raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

“You’re purring. I missed that.”

“Oh. So I am,” Catra said, not feeling bothered by the fact. She dragged her mat closer, then cuddled up against Adora and pulled the blankets over them both, resting her head against her shoulder. She placed the flat of her palm on the middle of Adora’s chest, and folded her leg and tail over her thigh.

Adora’s hand rested on her back, gently stroking her fur, and before long Catra felt Adora’s heart rate slow down. She knew Adora was almost asleep. But she had to tell her. She couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Hey, Adora...”

“Hmm?”

“I love you, too.”

“I know.”

“Hah, asshole.”

And then, Catra slept, her contented purrs and the feeling of Adora’s warm, bare body dragging her to the softest, gentlest slumber she’d ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the art, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1307765536688934913)!


	10. Blood On Our Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Adora**

Adora’s dreams started out as nothing but warm, wonderful memories. Her limbs were entangled with Catra’s, and they were making love, over and over again. There were gasps and groans of pleasure all around, and Adora’s heart had never felt more full.

But then, without warning, her dreams shifted to nightmares, and war. She saw rivers of blood, smelled a tinge of iron in the air, and heard the sound of cracking bone, echoing all around. She was She Ra again, tall, strong, and dangerous. And she was _furious_. She strode around the battlefield, killing anything and everything that came near her, or near Catra. She ripped and tore, pulled people apart as though they were nothing, like they were made of paper, and so very easy to shred.

“Adora, why are you doing this?” 

It was Kyle. He looked so small now, standing beneath her. But he was with the rest of them, the horde, the ones out to get them, the ones trying to stop them from finally having some chance of a life together. And so in one quick motion, Adora reached her massive hand out, grabbed the top of his head, and squeezed tightly.

“No!” Adora jolted upright, and found herself covered head to toe in sweat. She patted her hands up and down her body, relieved to find it was normal, just her regular five foot five, fairly muscular build. She checked the front and back of her hands, looking for the hot, fleshy mess she’d felt just moments ago.

“Are you okay?” Catra asked, resting her hands on Adora’s shoulders. “Was it a nightmare?”

Adora nodded mutely, still reeling from the dream. It had felt so real, and as though that uncontrollable rage had been a part of her. In fact it felt just like the white-hot fury she’d experienced while corrupted… and maybe that’s all it was - a memory. Adora certainly hoped so.

“Hey. Come here,” said Catra. She pulled her into a soft embrace and cocooned them both into the blanket. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Adora wrapped her arms around Catra’s bare, soft-furred form, feeling the chill inside of her thaw out, just a little. “No… I’m okay.”

But she wasn’t okay. Even with the blanket and Catra’s warm arms wrapped around her, she still felt a deep, cold chill in her gut. The adrenaline of yesterday’s escape had kept her focused, and making love to Catra had been the most wonderful thing she’d ever experienced in her life. Both of those things had kept her so preoccupied that she hadn’t had time to think about how she’d shoved that blade through Shadow Weaver’s chest. But now, she had time. And the harsh reality of it all was seeping into her bones.

Catra pulled away, and stroked her hand against Adora’s cheek. “When did you last eat? You look pale.”

“Uh… well, I was sick, so technically… yesterday morning? I’m not hungry, though.”

“Of course you’re not,” Catra said, rolling her eyes. “It’s called shock, idiot. But you’re going to eat anyway, because we’ll have to move soon.”

Catra crawled away and rummaged through her bag, her firm, bare ass on full view, and Adora suddenly became _very_ distracted from her inner turmoil. She felt a warm twinge between her legs at the sight, and swallowed thickly, her cheeks burning.

Then Catra turned around, and bared her fangs into a sharp grin.

“Hah, pervert,” she chuckled, the tip of her tail quivering as she headed back to their shared mats. She threw a few bars and two bottles of water on top of the blanket, then crawled back under it, nestling comfortably beside Adora.

“Hmm. It was a nice view,” Adora admitted, kissing Catra’s cheek. She unwrapped and chewed at the first ration, despite it tasting of sandpaper, then drank half her bottle of water. 

“Any better?” asked Catra, finishing her own bar off.

“A little,” Adora said, unwrapping a second ration. “So... where are we moving to?”

“I don’t know,” sighed Catra.. “I was so focused on getting us out of there, I didn't really think that far ahead.”

“Well, we got out,” Adora said, smiling. “So, so far so good, right?”

Catra nodded, and took a swig of water. “Yeah. Who knows what Hordak would've done to us otherwise...”

“Yeah...” Adora said, her voice trailing off when she remembered exactly _why_ they were running. The ration bar turned dry in her mouth, and the tougher, nuttier parts crunched loudly between her teeth. The sound wasn’t all that different to how Shadow Weavers ribs had broken under her half-blunt blade. It was even somewhat close to the sound of Catra’s leg, cracking...

“Adora?” Catra asked, her voice strangely muffled.

… She’d done all that. She caused it. And as though that wasn’t bad enough, Adora had shot and killed whoever had chased them, and hadn’t felt a single shred of remorse, like she was some kind of cold-blooded killer. The memories ate away at her, and they _hurt_. It felt like she’d been shot in the chest, and the bullet hole was growing by the minute.

Suddenly, she felt Catra’s soft, warm lips against her neck, and her thoughts stopped spiraling. “It gets easier with time,” whispered Catra, nuzzling up against Adora’s ear. “I promise.”

“Wait… you’ve killed someone?” Adora asked, wondering why she hadn’t thought about it until now.

Catra sighed against Adora’s neck, then leaned up, looking at her. “What do you think? We’ve been at war, Adora. People get killed.”

“How many?” Adora asked, mainly out of morbid curiosity.

“What?” Catra asked, appearing taken aback. “As many as I had to. It’s not like I had a choice, Adora. Are you seriously going to go there… after everything we just...“

“No. No!” Adora said, raising her hands. “I just… I haven’t really thought about it before. I mean we’ve been fighting, but I’ve always tried my best not to hurt anyone and I just figured you would too. Wait, no I didn’t mean… ugh,” Adora scrunched up her face, and inwardly cursed herself for allowing her mouth to spill out words that her brain hadn’t yet processed.

Catra growled and threw the blanket off herself, then turned around, shuffled away, and began to aggressively roll up her sleeping mat.

“Catra,” Adora said, reaching a hand out, despite Catra’s tail whipping against it. 

“Do you think I wanted to do it?” Catra snapped, twisting around, her eyes wide. “I don’t like having blood on my hands any more than you do, Adora. It’s just… it’s the world we live in.”

“Look, I didn’t-”

“Fuck,” Catra muttered, “why do you have to be so naive, all the time…”

“I’m not naive!” Adora snapped, surprised at the fire in her own voice. “You have no idea what it’s like to be able to break someone if you press just a _little_ too hard,” she continued, looking down at her hands, remembering how much she had to hold back, especially when Catra fought her. “I… tested her strength, you know. All the time. I could break trees. I could snap steel. So maybe forgive me when I say I _tried_ not to kill people - because you’ve _seen_ what happens otherwise.”

Catra sighed, and Adora noticed the fur settle down on her back and her tail. “Sorry. I guess there’s a lot of stuff we haven’t talked about.”

“I’m sorry too,” Adora said, sitting up and pulling the blanket around her shoulders. “But we shouldn’t get angry at each other. We didn’t ask for any of this.”

“You’re right, we didn’t,” Catra said. She sat on top of her rolled up bed, hunched over and folded her arms on top of her knees. “And it’s seven, as far as I know.”

Catra didn’t meet Adora’s eyes, but Adora needed her to know the admission didn’t bother her. That’s why she leaned forwards, placed a hand on under Catra’s chin, tilted her jaw up, and kissed her, slowly, enjoying the taste of her lips.

“Does it really get easier?” she whispered.

Catra nodded. “But you probably won’t ever forget it.”

Adora rested her hands upon Catra’s, and managed a small smile. “I’m pretty sure I managed to forget last night…”

Catra sat upright, widened her eyes, and burst into laughter. “You’re just full of surprises sometimes.”

Hearing Catra’s throaty laugh warmed Adora’s heart, and her smile widened into a smug grin. “What if I told you I’d like to forget a little more? If we have time...”

The tip of Catra’s tail quivered behind her, and a wicked grin stretched across her lips. She guided Adora’s hands to her knees, and held them in place while slowly opening her legs, revealing beautiful damp brown folds that were parted just enough to reveal a pink, glistening center. “Well, if you need to forget so badly…”

“Uh,” Adora swallowed thickly, her hands trembling upon Catra’s knees while she stared. 

“It won’t lick itself, Adora.”

Adora was more than happy to oblige. She fell forwards onto her knees, slid her hands across the tops of Catra’s thighs, and kissed around her taut abdomen, gasping when she felt claws lightly trail across her back. Catra’s swollen bud was right in front of her, and Adora couldn’t wait any longer. She grabbed behind Catra’s thighs and dove forwards, licking all the way up that delicious slit, then rolling her tongue around her clit.

“Fuck, Adora,” Catra hissed, grabbing onto either side of the bedroll behind. “I’m already close.”

Adora smirked against her pussy, and went to work, rolling her tongue in firm, deliberate spirals, enjoying every single gasp and grunt she could coax out of Catra. And Catra was right, she was close, Adora could tell by the juices flowing onto her tongue, by the needful whimpers, by how Catra was grasping her hair with one hand, arching her hips forwards, and vigorously grinding against her tongue.

And Adora loved every second of it. 

“Ah… AH!” Catra cried out, and Adora moaned into her, feeling heat pool between her own legs as Catra lost it, relentlessly fucking Adora’s mouth until her jaw and tongue were aching.

Afterwards, Adora pulled away, proudly wiping her lips clean. “How was that?” she asked, enjoying the sight of an incredibly wrecked Catra. Her cheeks were visibly red even through her fur, and her eyes were glazed over.

“Mmm, not bad,” Catra purred. Then she licked her lips, her intense gold and blue stare boring straight into Adora. “My turn,” she said, before she pounced on Adora and pinned her hands to the floor, just like she always used to back in the horde. Except, this time she was naked, and straddling Adora’s waist with an almost feral look in her eyes.

“Wow. You’re gorgeous…” Adora whispered, and she noticed Catra’s gaze soften slightly at the words.

Catra’s lips were on hers a second later, and then Catra’s tongue, circling hers hungrily. Adora groaned into her mouth and arched her abdomen up, whimpering desperately when she felt the wet slick from Catra’s pussy trail across her skin. 

“Catra,” she pleaded.

What Adora didn’t expect was for Catra to shuffle backwards and straddle one of her thighs. Catra twisted to one side, grabbed and lifted Adora’s free thigh, then eased her hips forwards, rubbing her stiffened bud downwards, slowly and very deliberately grinding it against Adora’s clit.

“How’s this?” Catra asked, biting her lower lip into a smile.

“O-okay… that’s… wow…” Adora muttered. She leaned up, resting her weight on her elbows while she rolled her hips in perfect time with Catra’s thrusts, watching as their drenched clits met in slick, circular motions. It wasn’t long before they were fucking each other into a frenzy, until Adora was coming so hard that she felt like she’d lose her mind. She dug her fingers into Catra’s calf, threw her head back and cried out, not caring if all of Etheria heard. “Fuck, Catra, I love you, _Fuck!_ ” 

“Say it again,” Catra growled, still furiously grinding, a crazed look in her eyes. “Say it while I’m coming, Adora. Now!”

It was too much. Adora was coming again, thanks to the low, demanding tone in Catra’s voice, her primal stare, and the feel of her hot, wet pussy, so violently crashing into her own.

“I said, I… “ Adora panted, coming so hard she could barely speak. “ _Fuck!_ Catra, I love you… I love you… I love you…” It was even more intense than the first, and she heard Catra coming too, heard her practically _yowl_ , and it was such a beautiful, agonised sound.

Afterwards, Adora could barely move. Catra flopped lazily on top of her, where Adora felt her breathy chuckle blow against her cheek.

“Love you too,” Catra mumbled, before a purr started to rumble in her chest.

Adora’s anxiety from the morning had been pretty much obliterated by the golden glow in her chest, and she couldn’t help but smile widely, wrapping her arms around Catra and squeezing her. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“I love you.”

“Shut up, idiot,” Catra said, laughing.

\--

“Aren’t you tempted to just stay here?” Adora asked, gently running her hand up and down the dip of Catra’s waist. 

“Hah! I guess we’re pretty well hidden… But our supplies won’t last forever.”

“There’s fruit here. And water. We could last a while is all I’m saying.”

Catra burst into laughter. “Are you seriously suggesting we stay here and keep fucking until someone finds us or we die of old age?”

“Would that be so bad?” Adora asked, arching an eyebrow. “You’re tempted. Admit it.”

Catra’s laughter died down. “Yes Adora, I’m tempted. But we should move out. Hordak’s probably already out there, looking for us.”

Adora sighed, feeling the bubble well and truly burst. Catra was right, though. It wouldn’t take the horde long to find them, not with their advanced surveillance tech. In fact now that she thought about it, she was amazed they hadn’t been spotted already. She figured maybe Entrapta was on their side, and had sabotaged a few drones or hacked a report.

“I’m still not sure where we can go,” Adora said, leaning across to her bag and grabbing a few cleansing wipes, and fresh underwear. “We won’t be able to pilot the skiff much further. The forest was getting way too thick.”

Catra blew out a puff of air. “Well, fuck.”

“What about Brightmoon?” Adora ventured, wincing as Catra’s expression darkened.

“Absolutely not.”

“They’d take us in, you know.”

“They’d take _you_ in Adora, and throw me in a cell. Besides, they might not be so fond of you either, now that you can’t be of any use to them.”

“They’re not really like that, Catra. I think you’d like them if you got to know them.”

“I can’t risk it, okay!” Catra exclaimed. “I only just… we only just… what if they take me away? You don’t know what will happen.”

“I won’t let that happen. You can trust me.”

“Can I?” Catra asked, and even though the words stung, Adora understood why she’d said them.

“You can. I’m not leaving you again,” Adora said. She raised her hand to Catra’s left ear, and gently trailed the edge of her fingertip around the small wound there, pleased to find it had healed up neatly around the edge. “You were right by the way. It looks badass.”

Catra snorted out a laugh. “Come on idiot, let’s get ready.”

They cleaned up, got dressed and packed up the bed rolls, and then Adora folded the tent back into a compact square. Once everything was stored away on the skiff, Adora leaned her back against it and folded her arms, wondering where else they could go if Brightmoon was a hard no. In either case she wouldn’t push Catra. She knew better by now.

As though reading her mind, Catra walked over and stood next to her, then blew out a long puff of air. “Okay. We’ll try your way. Honestly, I’ve got nothing else.”

“Are you sure?”

“I… I trust you,” Catra said, and Adora couldn’t help but turn around and kiss her slowly, and deeply, for that.

“If they do anything weird, we’re both out of there. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Catra said, smiling. “Okay.”

\--

“Glimmer? Do you copy?” Adora asked, talking into the skiff’s communication device, which she’d tuned in to their secret _best friend squad_ frequency. “Glimmer? Bow?”

Catra fidgeted in the chair beside hers, and started to pluck at her nails - a sure sign that she was nervous, or so Adora had learned over the years.

“A... dora?” 

Adora’s eyes widened. “Yes! Glimmer, can you hear me?”

“I’m here with Bow. Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick! I know we said to go back, but that didn’t mean drop off the face of-”

“Hi Adora,” Bow interjected, much to Adora’s relief.

“Pfft, someone’s in trouble,” Catra mumbled.

“Wait, is that Catra?!”

“Hi Sparkles,” Catra drolled. “Miss me?”

“Oh, does that mean you told her?” Bow asked, and Adora felt heat flush to her cheeks. 

“Guys!” Adora hissed, “Look, I haven’t been able to contact you because I’ve been… tied up. We have a lot of catching up to do… so can we just meet somewhere?” she asked, then upon noticing Catra’s worried expression she quickly added, “somewhere private I mean. For now.” 

“Where did you have in mind?”

\--

A short while later Glimmer popped into view alongside Bow at their designated meeting spot, a small lake just south of where Adora had left the skiff parked.

“Adora!” Glimmer exclaimed, rushing forwards and wrapping her arms around her.

“Oof,” Adora had the wind crushed out of her, while Catra scowled. “Haha! I missed you too.”

And she had missed them. Both of them. Sure, she’d been preoccupied these past few days, but other than Catra they were her closest friends in the world, and she was glad they were okay.

Bow stood at a distance, and winced at Catra. “You’re not going to scratch me again, are you?” 

Catra shrugged. “Depends if you give me a reason to.”

“Haha, okay then,” Adora laughed nervously, before grabbing Catra’s hands and squeezing her fingers. “How about we all sit down, because there’s a lot we need to go through.”

\--

“First of all,” Adora said, taking a deep breath. “She Ra’s gone.”

Glimmer eyebrows shot up. “ _What?_ ”

“Oh boy,” said Bow.

“Adora, how?! Why?!”

“She was too dangerous. So I shattered the sword, and she’s gone. End of discussion.”

“Oh great, and you didn’t stop to think maybe we needed her for the _war?_ ” Glimmer asked, sounding outraged.

Catra hummed to herself and leaned forwards across her knees, throwing Adora a smug _I told you so_ look.

Adora sighed, and her shoulders slumped. “So, it’s true? That’s all you wanted me for?”

“Of course not,” Glimmer sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between forefinger and thumb. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped. It’s just… the horde’s been getting worse. More and more people are dying out there, Adora.”

“Maybe it’ll ease off now that Shadow Weaver’s dead,” Catra offered, smirking.

Adora was relieved that Catra had broken the news. Otherwise she might have let it slip that she was to blame, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to admit what she’d done to anyone else just yet.

Bow laughed, but when Catra quietly stared back, his laughter died in his throat. “Wait. You’re serious?”

“She’s gone?” Glimmer asked, turning wide-eyed. “How?”

“Drank herself to death, or maybe fizzled a spell _while_ drunk, who knows,” Catra shrugged. “But she’s gone. We saw the body ourselves, didn’t we Adora?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, hugging her knees into her chest. “We saw.”

“Is that why you left?” Bow asked.

“The place was in chaos. We saw our chance and we took it,” said Catra.

Glimmer chewed inside of her cheek and looked between Catra and Adora, appearing perplexed. “Something doesn’t add up here...”

_Oh no_ , thought Adora, shooting a panicked look at Catra.

“... Adora tried like, a hundred times to get you to leave,” Glimmer continued. “So why now?”

“Oh, didn’t she tell you?” Catra asked, standing up and swaying her hips as she walked towards Adora. “We’re lovers now,” she purred, before landing on Adora’s lap and looping her arms around her shoulders.

Adora felt her cheeks heat when Glimmer and Bow’s eyes widened. She laughed nervously. “So uh… yeah. That’s a thing now.”

“That’s great!” Bow exclaimed, his eyes suddenly sparkling, “I can’t believe it! This is amazing!” he continued, jumping to his feet and pumping his fists by his sides.

“Do you always get this excited about your friends banging?” Catra asked, scrunching up her nose disdainfully.

Bow blinked a few times. “ _Banging?_ ” he asked, squeaking out the word.

“Wait,” Catra said, narrowing her eyes and peering between Bow and Glimmer, “you mean you two haven’t...?” 

“Okay, stop teasing them,” said Adora, barely stopping herself from laughing as she kissed Catra lightly on the cheek. Catra settled more comfortably in her lap, then Adora took a deep breath, and asked the burning question.

“So… we kind of need a place to stay...”

Glimmer smiled and shook her head. “Of course. You know you’re always welcome at the palace. Both of you.”

“I’m not sure Angella will agree to that,” Catra said, her tail swaying to and fro. 

“I think I know my mother better than you,” Glimmer said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I already warned her that Adora might drag you back there one day. So are you coming or not?”

Adora felt Catra stiffen in her arms. “Hey. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not like we have any choice,” Catra muttered. “Fine, but if anyone comes near me with handcuffs, my claws come out. Just so we’re clear.”

“Brightmoon doesn’t actually have a prison, by the way,” Bow added, shrugging.

Catra gasped. “What!? What kind of… you know what. Never mind, let’s go, before I change my mind.”

“It’ll take a few jumps, what with there being four people and two _giant_ rucksacks,” Glimmer complained. “Is everyone ready?”

Adora stood up and slid her fingers into Catra’s waiting, open hand. She hoped Glimmer was right, but she knew that Angella could be strictly tactical at times, so she had no idea what they were letting themselves in for. But she’d meant what she’d said. If they tried to take Catra away or do anything to tear them apart, then they’d have to go through her first.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the art, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue)!


	11. Nothing Lasts Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

“Ugh, stop a minute!” Catra said, keeling over. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh come on, it isn’t that bad,” Glimmer said, rolling her eyes. 

Catra felt dizzy from the teleportation, but she was also feeling more and more nervous the closer they got to the palace. Adora seemed to sense her anxiety, and kept squeezing her hand reassuringly, not that Catra minded.

They jumped again.

“Ugh! Stop! I’m seriously gonna barf.”

It was all moving so fast between the two of them, and Catra didn’t mind that, either. She just hoped Adora would be okay, because she knew how much taking a life could change a person. She’d seen it happen to other soldiers in the horde, how they’d become distant and cold afterwards, like a switch had been flipped. 

“Fine,” Glimmer said, rolling her eyes. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

Catra was surprised by the show of kindness, and she rested for a minute or two until the nausea passed. She looked at Adora, and felt reassured when she was met by those kind, blue eyes. She’d told Adora she trusted her, and now she had to make good on those words.

“Okay,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Ready.”

And just like that, they were all stood just outside the bright pink walls of Brightmoon palace. It was midday, and the sun was shining brightly, which only served to make the garish walls hurt Catra’s eyes all the more.

“I’ll teleport you both into my room,” whispered Glimmer. “Do you think you two can keep quiet while I talk to Mom?”

“Well, we can try,” Catra said, arching an eyebrow at Adora, then grinning when her cheeks turned a shade of crimson.

\--

Not long afterwards, Glimmer had deposited the two of them in her room and then left, after begging them not to break anything, that is. Catra was pacing around scrutinising everything, while Adora was relaxing on Glimmer’s bed, laid back with her hands over her head.

“Wow. Sure is fancy,” Catra drawled. She wondered why almost everything had to be a shade of pink or purple in this place. “Is your room like this?”

Adora peered across at Catra. “Uh, yeah. It was…”

Catra winced. “Didn’t it give you a migraine?”

“Well I got used to it eventua-”

“-Wait, is that a pool? And a tiny waterfall?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, turning onto her side. “Apparently the sound of running water helps you to relax, or something.”

“Pfft, sounds like horsehit to me,” muttered Catra. She leaned over the edge of the extravagant feature, and swirled a finger lazily around in the crystal clear water. “So while we were surviving day to day, this is how the other side was living, eh?”

“From what I’ve seen, there aren’t many places worse than the horde,” Adora said, sighing deeply. “Guess we drew short straws or something.”

“Hey, are you okay?” Catra asked, walking over and sitting on the bed next to Adora. “You seem down.”

Adora sat up, and pulled her knees to her chest. “Do you think we did the right thing? By not telling them about Shadow Weaver, I mean.”

Catra shrugged. “I figured you weren’t ready yet.”

“I wasn’t,” admitted Adora. “Thanks, by the way. For covering for me.”

Adora was clearly unhappy, and Catra felt powerless to do much about it. There were only so many times she could use sex as a distraction, after all. So instead, she pulled Adora into a hug, and then laid down next to her on the bed.

“Like I said, it’ll get better. Just be patient with yourself.”

A brief smile flickered on Adora’s lips, much to Catra’s relief. “Shouldn’t I be the one reassuring you right now?” 

“Nah, I’m good,” Catra lied, swallowing down her own anxiety about everything, least of all the fear she had that guards would burst through the door at any moment. Then she caught a whiff of something very unpleasant. “Ew!” She wrinkled her nose. “Is that me or you?” 

“Hmm?” Adora asked, lifting her free arm and sniffing beneath it. “Oh, _ugh_. Sorry. But you’re just as bad.”

“I am?” Catra asked, sniffing around herself, then almost retching. “Gross. Do you think Sparkles will care if we use her bathroom?”

“Well she _did_ say to make ourselves at home,” Adora said, smiling smugly. “In all seriousness, she wouldn’t mind.” She kissed Catra quickly. “Come on, let’s shower.”

Catra pricked her ears up. “You mean together?” 

“You don’t want to?”

Catra still struggled to believe this was real, this new thing between them. She smiled, leaned forwards and kissed Adora, gently. “Of course I want to.”

_Understatement._

\--

The bathroom was, as Catra had expected, _pink_. To be fair, it was a few shades lighter than everywhere else, and the tiles in the shower cubicle were actually spiraled with long white vertical swirls, as though someone had almost attempted a form of contrast in this candy-themed hellscape.

But, she couldn’t complain too much, especially not right now. The feeling of warm water cascading down and soaking into her fur was immensely satisfying, and Catra couldn’t help but shudder in delight. “Mmm. This is nice.” She leaned against one of the two corner walls, content to watch as Adora squirted stuff into her hand from a strange looking bottle, then lathered it around her body. 

Adora seemed to notice her stare. “Oh, this is new to you, isn’t it? It’s soap, but liquid instead of bars.” 

Adora’s creamy skin was soon covered in bubbles, the water and soft suds cascading down her perfect curves and muscles, and watching Adora rub her hands all over herself drove a bolt of heat straight between Catra’s legs. “mmHmm. New. Soap.” 

“Are you okay?” Adora asked, pausing with her hand on her breast.

“I’m fine!” Catra said, quickly reaching for the soap dispenser and mimicking Adora’s actions. The liquid version was far easier to work in under her fur than the bars had ever been, and she soon worked up a massive soapy explosion. Then Adora burst out laughing, and Catra frowned at her. “ _What?_ ”

“You…” she said, giggling. “You’re like a giant fur bubble. You used way too much soap, ahahahah!”

“It’s not funny!” Catra exclaimed, quickly trying to rinse it off. But the more she rubbed and rinsed, the more the lather grew, until she was practically spitting bubbles. 

“Here, let me,” Adora said, stepping behind her, then running her fingers through her mane and twisting it into a loose spiral, wringing it out. Catra felt strong fingers knead into the damp fur at her back, then trail slowly around to her waist and abdomen, pressing down hard enough to squeeze the suds away.

But Catra had lost all interest or care in the bubbles, because Adora had moved closer, now. She could feel her breasts pressed against her back, and her hands and fingers, massaging her fur, touching her skin. “Adora…” She growled without even meaning to. 

Adora’s hands stilled, and she drew in a sharp intake of breath by Catra’s ear. “ _Oh_. Uh. Sorry.”

Catra grumbled. “I wasn’t complaining, idiot.” She reached an arm behind herself, slid her fingers behind Adora’s neck, and pulled her mouth down to her shoulder. Adora’s lips nibbled at that sensitive spot at the crook of her neck, “Mmm...” but Catra needed more. Much more. She pushed backwards until Adora was trapped against the tiled wall, where her tail snaked up between Adora’s legs and wrapped around a meaty thigh. 

“Catra,” Adora gasped, and Catra felt her hips eagerly push forwards against her ass. “Kiss me… please...” 

Catra leaned her head to the left, crashing her lips against Adora’s in a wet, desperate kiss. Adora’s deep, needy moans sent shivers all the way down Catra’s spine, and then she felt Adora’s hands all over her, desperately grabbing and groping. “Don’t be shy, Adora,” Catra chuckled. Her touch felt amazing, but Catra had some very specific needs right now. She guided Adora’s hands to her breast and her clit, delighted by Adora’s needy whimpers, and the way she was so obviously grinding against her ass. 

It was clear by now that Adora loved touching her. The thought alone was nearly enough to get Catra off, never mind those skilled, calloused hands working her up into a frenzy. Adora was teasing her now, dipping her fingers lower, then returning them to her clit. And it worked. Catra was soon grunting in frustration, and desperate for release.

“Make me come, Adora,” Catra begged, She didn’t even care that she sounded weak, because it was her turn to need a distraction, her turn to switch everything off, her turn to lose all the fear and uncertainty, and focus only on that blissful feeling of _Adora_. Her hands, her lips, her skin. Just Adora, all over her. Adora’s fingers finally plunged inside of her, and Catra cried out, throwing her head back on Adora’s shoulder, fully exposing her neck. “F-fuck!” She was coming already. Adora’s skilled fingers and hand were hitting all the right places, all at once, palm pressing against her clit, and fingers curling against her front wall. “Adora… _Adora…_ ”

Catra wanted the feeling to last forever. Wanted to come against Adora’s hand, forever. But it started to ebb away, fading to aftershocks. “I need more,” Catra pleaded. She wasn’t ready to come down from her high, not yet.

Adora firmly gripped Catra’s waist and spun them around, until she was pinning her against the wall. She grabbed one of Catra’s thighs and held it up, then started to fuck her with her pussy, a desperate, almost predatory look in those gorgeous, blue eyes. 

Catra was so lost in that stare, too. So lost in the vision before her, of Adora’s wet, blonde hair hanging in messy strands around her face, her hungry stare, her lips, parted, and her skin, flushed pink from her cheeks all the way down to her neck. Catra grabbed her hands behind Adora’s tight ass and pulled, encouraging her thrusts, loving the feeling of Adora’s swollen clit roughly grinding against her own. 

“Catra, _fuck_ , I’m gonna…” Adora groaned, falling forwards but never letting Catra’s thigh slip. Adora rested a forearm against the tiles to the right of Catra’s head, and panted by her left ear. “I’m g-gonna…”

“Come for me,” Catra breathed.

And she did. Catra felt Adora’s whole body convulse, heard a string of barely-recognisable words whispered in broken gasps.

_“Co-coming, f fuck, I… love…”_

Adora sunk her teeth into Catra’s neck and released a muffled scream, and then Catra lost it, fucking Adora back just as hard, wrapping her arms around her tense shoulders, squeezing her eyes closed in and coming all over again, so violently that she lost all the strength in her legs. Adora held her thigh firmly, keeping her locked in place while they were both still shuddering against one another, riding out their aftershocks.

Just when Catra thought it was over, Adora grabbed under her other thigh and hoisted her up, literally pinning her to the wall, kissing her roughly, grinding against her, and it was so incredibly hot and so unexpected that Catra became undone again. “Fuck! Adora!” She shamelessly rubbed her pussy against Adora’s rigid abdomen, coming all over again. “I love you... “ she sobbed. “So much.”

And she meant it. The voice telling her to be cautious, to keep a piece of herself locked up to avoid being broken all over again, grew quieter and quieter each time that they made love. It was almost silent by the time she opened her eyes, finding herself on Adora’s lap on the shower cubicle floor.

“Wow,” Catra muttered, trembling from the exertion. 

“Yeah… Wow,” whispered Adora.

Catra looped her arms around Adora’s neck, smiling. “You are too damn sexy.”

“Apparently,” Adora said, her lips forming a huge, smug smirk. 

Catra was happy to see that Adora’s low mood had shifted, but she knew this was just a bandaid, for them both. But she figured if they both got mind blowing orgasms out of it, it couldn’t be all that bad. She nuzzled her mouth against Adora’s neck, tasting the salt of her sweat mingled with the thin streams of warm water.

“Catra,” Adora said.

Catra’s lips paused in their ministrations, “Hmm?” and she pulled away.

“Are we okay?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well… this. Us. Everything’s just moving so quickly. And instead of talking about anything, we’ve kind of just been making out,” said Adora, but then a fleeting look of panic crossed her pretty face. “Not that I’m complaining!”

As far as Catra was concerned, Adora was right. They hadn’t had time to unpack anything around their newfound relationship yet, nevermind the hurtful things they’d done to each other beforehand. Especially the things Catra had done. Especially one thing in particular, which had been eating her up inside ever since.

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” Catra sighed. “I’ve done so much shit, Adora. Like yesterday. It was our first time, and I… I ruined it.”

“I was more worried about you than hurt,” Adora admitted, with a small pout. “And also a little frustrated you didn’t let me finish.”

Catra chuckled at that, and felt a little better. “Yeah. That was a dick move, huh.”

“Honestly? It wasn’t as awful as you seem to think, not for me, anyway. And every time since then has been pretty amazing.”

“It has, hasn’t it,” Catra purred.

“Definitely,” said Adora, smirking.

“Well, how about we just take things one day at a time,” suggested Catra, leaning back and tucking Adora’s damp hair behind her ears.

“I’d like that. But,” Adora began, reaching for Catra’s hands. “I need you to know I’m not leaving you. Not again. Not ever. So please… if I mess up, or say something wrong, like I _always_ do with you, can you promise me you won’t leave?” she squeezed Catra’s fingers. “Shout at me, claw at me, I don’t care. But promise me you’ll stay.”

Only then did Catra realise that Adora was terrified of this kind of commitment, too. She was just as scared of giving her heart away, only to get it broken, and given how cruel Catra had shown herself to be, she understood the fear completely.

“I promise that I’ll just tell you if you piss me off.”

Adora breathed out a sigh of relief, then tipped her forehead to Catra’s. “Good. I’m sorry… it’s just... I can’t believe you’re really here. That we’re really here. That I get to kiss you, and touch you, and sleep next to you.”

“My, aren’t we being emotional,” Catra smirked. She wanted to tell Adora it was the same for her, but it was just too soon. She could only open up so much, and for now she was giving Adora everything she could. 

“I’m so sorry I left you. I know if you left me now, I’d die,” Adora continued, placing a hand on Catra’s cheek. “I… I need you. And it terrifies me.”

Need was a powerful word. Hearing it triggered something inside of Catra, some deep, unfulfilled desire. After all, all she’d ever wanted was to be wanted, and needed by Adora. And now, apparently she was. _Need_ was more powerful than love. After all, if you _needed_ someone, you could never leave them. Whereas if you just loved them, you could get over it.

“Is that so…” Catra muttered, feeling her heart pound in her chest. And oh, she wanted to get lost in the fantasy that Adora was spinning, with those sweet words and everything beneath them. “I…” She wanted to say equally deep, meaningful things back to Adora, and not just while in the throes of passion. But she was still scared, and the fear crippled her. “I’m not going anywhere, Adora. I can promise you that.”

“Sorry. I know that was a lot. You don’t have to say anything back,” Adora smiled, seemingly satisfied, for now. She tipped her nose to Catra’s, and water met in the middle, pouring down one side of their joined tips in a thin trickle. “But you can at least tell you love me, right? I’ve only heard it four times, and that’s just not acceptable.”

“Hah!” Catra chuckled, kissing her quickly. “Yes, I love you. Happy?”

Adora’s smile stretched so wide that it reached her eyes, and she choked out a sob. “Yes.”

“You’re such a sap,” Catra muttered, swallowing a thick knot in her throat. “Come here,” she said, nestling her finger behind Adora’s hair, and pulling her in for a deep, hungry kiss.

Catra had always preferred actions to words, anyway. And so she spent the next half an hour showing Adora exactly how she felt, through touch, and kisses, and all of the love she could give.

\--

By the time they were clean and wearing fresh uniforms, Adora’s mood was markedly better. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact Catra had coaxed at least five orgasms out of her, by her count anyway. In either case Adora was now in one of those delightfully giddy moods, where she was more Adora-like than ever. Where Catra loved her more than ever.

“You seem happy,” Catra said, grinning.

Adora blushed. “Gee. I wonder why.”

“Hah, you dork.”

Adora’s eyes suddenly took on a menacing glint, and the next thing Catra knew Adora was on top of her, pinning her to the floor, attacking her waist with dextrous fingers. “Haha! Stop it!” Catra squealed, trying to bat her away. 

Suddenly Glimmer blinked into the room, then peered down at the two of them. “I’m glad someone’s having fun…” she said, shaking her head.

Catra felt a ball of anxiety well up in her gut. She stood up and helped Adora up, then folded her arms. “Well, I don’t see any guards yet. So I’m guessing it didn’t go all that badly?”

“She wants to talk to you both,” Glimmer said, sighing.

Adora frowned. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Mother is just exhausting sometimes, that’s all. She won’t tell me what her decision is, because that would be _way_ too easy.”

Catra felt nervous. “So she wants us... what. In the throne room? Right now? Uh… Adora?”

“It’ll be okay. This is just how she does things,” Adora said, wincing. “She can be as stubborn as her daughter, that’s all.”

“Thanks Adora,” Glimmer said, rolling her eyes. She took their hands. “I’ve told her everything you already told me, and she didn’t freak out. Not too much, anyway.”

“Not filling me with confidence here, Sparkles…”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll just blink you both out of there if things get weird.”

Catra didn’t have time to consider what she meant by that, because the very next second they were in the throne room, staring up at a very, very tall woman with pink wings folded behind her back.

\--

Angella folded her arms and peered down at the two of them, but mainly, her gaze lingered on Adora. Catra was relieved to not be the victim of that frosty stare.

“Is it true?”

Adora took a deep breath. “Yes, your majesty. But-”

“I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed, Adora,” she interrupted. “Do you have any idea how many lives we could have saved with that power?”

“I know, your majesty,” said Adora, bowing slightly. “But it could have taken them away just as easily.”

“Yes, I heard about the recent… _incident_. I’m not entirely convinced that was your fault, though,” Angella said, peering down at Catra. “And I hear that you were on the receiving end, for the best part.”

Catra gulped, wondering how much they knew. “I… I was there. Yeah.”

Adora took her hand, and squeezed it encouragingly. “She wasn’t just _there_. She almost died because of me and I just… knowing I could do that to Catra, of all people? The person I love most of all?” Adora paused for breath, and Catra’s heart skipped a beat at the words. “If she wasn’t safe from She Ra, nobody was. I made the right decision. I’m sure of it.”

“I… I shall trust your judgement, Adora,” Angella sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “However, I can hardly have a Force Captain running around the palace while we’re still at war.”

“Mom!” Glimmer exclaimed, balling her fists by her sides.

Catra didn’t feel anything other than instant acceptance. She wasn’t in any way surprised. “Knew it,” she said, rolling her eyes as two guards approached her. She stretched her claws out, ready to fight.

What she didn’t expect was for Adora to bend down, unsheathe a dagger from her boot, and point it at the guards. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

“Adora... “ Glimmer said, reaching a hand out. “What are you… Are you okay!?”

“No, I’m not!” Adora snapped, waving her weapon around. “I’m sick of this. We’ve been abused our whole lives, especially Catra,” she said, her voice shaking with anger. “I won’t stand for it any more… so you can either leave her alone, or you can go through me.”

“Adora…” Catra whispered, feeling her heart swell. She’d seen Adora get protective before, of course, but never like this. She was standing up to _everyone_ , Shadow Weaver, the Queen, her friends. And all to protect her… no, this time it was to protect _them_. To protect this new thing they had. Catra was left speechless by the fierce display of loyalty.

Angella’s voice was frosty. “Are you threatening my guards, Adora?”

“Depends. Are you threatening my girlfriend?”

Catra raised her eyebrows in surprise, but she liked the sound of it. She’d dreamed about Adora calling her it plenty of times, after all.

“Mom,” Glimmer said, moving to stand between the staring contest going on between Adora and Angella. “they’ve been through so much, can’t you just _try_ to understand? Adora _clearly_ isn't being herself because… well, because-”

“Because I killed Shadow Weaver,” Adora interrupted, her voice cold. 

The room fell silent, and all eyes fell upon Adora. Her stone-cold expression started to crumble, and Catra saw her lower lip quiver, so she rushed to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Adora burst into tears, and the dagger fell to the floor with a quiet _clang_.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Catra whispered, stroking Adora’s hair.

“Catra. Is this true?” Angella asked.

Catra hated that they were putting Adora through this. Not now. She'd been through enough. “Yes it’s true. And she’s still in shock, so back off already!”

Glimmer gasped, and covered her mouth. Catra was grateful she didn’t say anything, because Adora didn’t deserve to be judged. These people had no idea what kind of a bubble they were living in.

“If you don’t want me here, that’s fine. I’ll go,” said Catra, meeting Angella’s gaze without flinching. “But Adora should stay… this place is... well, it’s nice. She deserves it.”

Adora sniffled. “Catra, I’m not-”

“Shh, idiot,” Catra said, swallowing down the thick lump in her throat. “We knew it’d go this way. You need help after everything that’s happened. And maybe you can get it here.”

“And you don’t?!” Adora retorted angrily, no longer crying. “I told you I’m not leaving you again. Was that a joke to you? If you leave, I leave. We’ll both leave, right now.”

“If you’ve all all _quite_ finished,” Angella yelled, waving her guards away. “This news disturbs me greatly. I really didn’t think you had it in you, Adora.”

“She was going to kill Catra,” Adora muttered, squeezing Catra’s hand more tightly. Catra felt herself shudder at the memory, and a flicker of doubt crossed Angella’s gaze.

“Oh,” said Angella, her voice softening. She bent down, and spoke quietly, so that only they could hear. “Then I take it she was the abuser you were referring to?”

Catra had never felt quite so small before. She nodded, at the same time as Adora.

“... your whole lives? Even when you were children?”

They nodded again.

“I… I see.” Angella sighed, and shook her head. “It seems to me that you acted in self-defense, and I’m not sorry to see her gone, by all accounts.” She returned to her full height and walked back to her throne, then sat down. “You’ve also struck a substantial blow to the Horde, and for that, you both have my thanks.”

“So, can they stay?” Glimmer asked.

“You may return to your old room, Adora... _with_ Catra. And what I was _trying_ to tell you earlier, before all this ruckus, is that I will have no choice but to place guards outside your chambers. I’m sure you understand.”

Glimmer leapt in the air and fist pumped. “Yes!”

Angella cleared her throat, and gave her daughter a disapproving stare. “They are also to follow you whenever you venture around the castle. Is that acceptable, Catra?”

“If they can keep up, sure.” Catra smirked. She wasn’t overjoyed with the idea, but too bad for them she could literally slip away any time she wanted to. 

“ _Catra_ ,” Glimmer hissed.

“Sorry. I mean yes, that’s acceptable,” Catra said, forcing herself to bow. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“Well, then. Welcome to Brightmoon!” Angella said, sweeping an upwards-facing palm in a wide arc. “Who knows, if you prove yourself to me, there may even be a place for you in the alliance.”

 _Hah yeah, right_ , Catra thought, but decided to keep her mouth shut. Adora’s fingers fell slack around hers, and Catra noticed she appeared just as relieved as she was.

“Thank you, your majesty,” Adora said, bowing. She recovered her dagger while she was down there, then sheathed it back into her boot, grinning awkwardly.

“For your sake, I’ll pretend that never happened,” Angella muttered, her face turning sour. 

“ _Thanks_ ,” Adora squeaked.

\--

Once they’d settled in Adora’s room, Catra couldn’t help but feel cautiously optimistic, probably for the first time in years. After all, they were allowed to stay here for as long as they wanted, and she doubted Hordak would be bold enough to attack the palace now that they had this whole princess alliance thing going on. 

“Wow. You’re actually smiling,” Adora said. 

Catra arched an eyebrow. “Well, I was expecting this to go a lot worse, given my track record.”

Adora stepped forwards and took both of Catra’s hands in hers, “Well, it didn’t.” then raised them to her lips, kissing one knuckle at a time. “Now you’re stuck with me. And I love you.”

“Do you?” Catra asked, narrowing her eyes. “Why don’t you show me?”

“Now that you mention it, I was hoping we’d _celebrate_ ,” Adora said, smiling against Catra’s fingers. She singled out two of them, and sucked them between her lips. 

Heat flared between Catra’s legs and she dove forwards with a growl, removing her fingers only to capture Adora’s lips in a deep, lustful kiss. “Call it whatever you want,” she breathed, tugging at Adora’s jacket. “But I want you, now.”

This time when they made love, it wasn’t meant as a distraction for either of them. It was an explosive celebration of how far they’d come, of how they’d somehow made it out of the horde alive, of how they were hurtling past their doubts and insecurities and simply loving one another, just like they’d always wanted to. For the first time in their lives, they could actually see a chance of a future together.

\--

It all felt too good to be true, this new life of theirs. Catra took each day as it came, one day at a time, one cautious, curious step after another. She soon caught herself smiling more often, and wondered at what point she’d actually ended up enjoying life here, with Adora by her side. It was simple, easygoing, and carefree, all the things Catra thought she’d hate.

By the time they’d been at Brightmoon a week Catra even looked forward to walking around the garishly-bright palace with Adora, and she had stopped hating group conversations with Bow and Glimmer. And the food, well, that was something _else_. Catra still couldn’t get over how good it tasted compared to their rations, and she felt like she’d already piled on weight, not that Adora seemed to mind.

For that whole week, and for the first time in her life, Catra knew _peace_. She experienced joy, and warmth, and felt herself opening up to Adora more and more. She’d almost told her how much she needed her, and she thought maybe today she’d finally do it. She’d finally tell Adora just how much she meant to her.

But, she never got the chance. After all, nothing lasts forever.

Catra knew this better than anyone, which is why when she stumbled across a corpse and found Adora, hands covered in blood, body curled into a slowly-rocking fetal position, she allowed a familiar numbness to seep back into her bones. She accepted her fate, and began to plan their next move. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” She wrapped her arms around Adora, and didn’t even question why she’d killed someone. It didn’t matter. Not to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the art, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1309221873905995777)!


	12. Scratching An Itch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Adora**

By the time they’d been in Brightmoon a week, Adora’s heart was practically overflowing with love. Every morning she’d woken up with Catra either beside her, or curled up at the bottom of the bed, or her personal favourite - half on top of her, snoring lightly against her neck. Like she was doing right now.

Adora couldn’t bear to move. She closed her eyes softly stroked Catra’s thick mane, content to lay there and daydream for a while…

\--

Things were so different between them now. Catra had slowly but surely started to open up to Adora, and while she hadn’t said half of the deep and meaningful things that Adora had, she’d conveyed her feelings in other ways. Like how she’d just look at Adora sometimes, as though she was the only thing in the world that mattered. Or how she’d subconsciously show subtle signs of affection, like tucking Adora’s hair behind her ear, or wiping something from her lips. She’d always get embarrassed when she caught herself doing it, of course. But she’d made so much progress. They’d even reached a point where holding hands in public wasn’t a problem.

It was more than enough for Adora.

They were communicating better, too. Probably because they had so much spare time now, which had given them plenty of time to talk. They’d both agreed the best way forwards was to start over, with a clean slate. Catra would forgive Adora for leaving her, and she’d forgive Catra for lashing out all those times. That had been four days ago, and they’d barely argued at all since then, although that could also be because whenever they where alone together, it ultimately ended in sex. Lots of it.

Like last night and early this morning, when they’d both carried on until they passed out. Adora never knew sex could be so amazing. She was fairly sure she was addicted to the sounds she could coax from Catra, not to mention how it took her breath away whenever Catra made love to her. She blushed when she thought about just how many rooms they’d checked off their list by now. It was Catra’s idea, actually, to ‘do it’ in as many places in the palace as possible. Adora figured it was her way of getting revenge on her ex-enemies, or something.

She knew Glimmer would have a meltdown if she ever caught them, but the riskier their venture, the more fun they had. Adora’s favourite so far was when she’d teased Catra all day and then finally put her out of her misery. It had been in a secluded corner of the massive Brightmoon library, and she’d had to muffle Catra’s whimpers with her free hand. Turned out Catra wasn’t very good at being quiet… but somehow, they’d gotten away with it.

There had been some not-so-great moments, too. Adora’s worst had been when she had launched into a full-on, angry tirade at Glimmer about how she shouldn't just teleport into her room whenever she wanted to. She knew she should have handled that better, whether she’d had a point or not. Thankfully Glimmer had accepted Adora’s apology later that same day.

And then Catra had also hit a pretty low point two days ago, when Adora caught her staring at herself in the bathroom and scratching at her own wrists, pressing hard enough to draw blood. Adora had stopped her, of course, and realised right there and then that Catra’s scars ran deeply, as did her shame, self-loathing and regret.

\--

“S’not my fault,” Catra mumbled, lifting Adora from her daze. It took her a second to realise that Catra was sleep-talking. “No, cos they left the bread… on the… floor.” 

“Pft-” Adora barely held in her laugh. She wondered what kind of dream Catra was having this time. It was a new habit of hers, apparently, and Adora found it incredibly endearing.

Catra suddenly rolled off of Adora, fell onto her back, and smacked her lips a few times. Then she started snoring, _loudly_ , and Adora wondered if it was possible to love her any more than she did at that moment. She had the sudden, gleeful idea to go out and buy her a sugary treat as a surprise, because It turned out that Catra really, _really_ liked sweet things. Adora did, too, but not to the point where her pupils dilated and she became an unstoppable, hyperactive maniac. Nope. That was Catra, plus sugar. A deadly but fun combination.

Adora smiled, leaned down to kiss Catra’s forehead, then hopped off the bed. 

\--

Adora had been outside for all of twenty minutes before she was missing Catra and severely regretting her decision. She’d almost turned around and headed back a few times already, but she had an important, top-priority mission, and it was important that she didn’t fail.

“Still not sure?” asked the old, gentle lady behind the stall. She wore a pair of thick-rimmed glasses which rested on the edge of her nose, and she was being incredibly patient while Adora chewed her cheek, deep in thought.

“Sorry,” Adora flustered. There were oh so many colourful, tiny cakes to choose from, each one looking as delicious as the last.

“Hey, daydreamer.” It was Glimmer’s voice, and a moment later Adora was vaguely aware of her presence beside her. “Etheria to Adora,” Glimmer said, nudging her shoulder. “Come in Adora.”

“Hmm? Oh, Hi Glimmer,” Adora said, reluctantly turning her attention away from the stall to hug her. “How’s things?”

“Ugh, just the usual war stuff. You don’t need to hear it.”

Adora gently pulled her to one side, and spoke more quietly. “Try me.”

“Not a chance.” Glimmer folded her arms, and gave Adora a stern glare. “Mom says you have PTSD, and until you and Catra get help, you aren’t touching this. Any of it. And for once, I agree with her on something.”

“Ugh, boring.” Adora rolled her eyes. “Besides, I’m fiiine. I was just a bit messed up back then, that’s all.”

She and Glimmer had talked about it, of course. More than once. Neither Adora nor Catra had heard such a term before, but apparently they were both victims of trauma, and were operating in a state of stress - or so they were told. Adora wasn’t sure she believed it, but Glimmer certainly did, which is probably why she and Bow constantly checked in on them both.

“It’s been a week Adora, that’s nowhere near enough. And you haven’t even started therapy yet, have you?”

Adora pursed her lips. “Nope. Perfuma doesn’t get here until tomorrow.”

At Angella’s insistence both Adora and Catra were to start seeing Perfuma to receive some (apparently) much-needed therapy. Adora was feeling quite apprehensive about it. She wondered if they’d lock her up if she were more honest about some of the stranger things she’d been feeling lately, such as the weird itch which crawled under her skin and made her irritable from time to time. A few hours on the punching bag or rougher-than-usual sex with Catra seemed to ease it off, though.

“Well, let’s talk about you instead.” Glimmer narrowed her eyes, and smirked. “How’s things with Catra? Still _disgustingly_ in love?”

“Yeah. Very much so,” Adora sighed, smiling. 

“Where is she, anyway? It’s not like you to be anywhere without her.”

“She’s dead to the world.” Adora rubbed a hand beneath her ponytail. “We uh… didn’t sleep much…”

“Ugh.” Glimmer wrinkled her nose, but her smile remained. “Spare me the details.”

“Well, first the sat on my-”

“Adora!” Glimmer exclaimed, laughing as she thrust her hand over Adora’s mouth. “I’m happy you’re happy, but seriously, stop.”

Adora pouted. “I was going to say lap.”

“Sure you were,” said Glimmer, with a knowing roll of her eyes. “Anyway, do you mind if we catch up later? I’m meant to be meeting Bow in a couple of minutes.”

“Ooh, is it a date?” Adora asked, dancing on the spot. “Is that why you made your hair all fancy? It’s a date, isn’t it? Yay!”

Glimmer turned bright red. “Shh. It’s only our second one. Don’t jinx it.”

Adora pulled her into a tight squeeze. “You’ll be fine. You two were made for each other.”

“Thanks, Adora,” Glimmer said, kissing her on the cheek. “Don’t buy Catra too many cupcakes, okay? I’d rather not have her _literally_ climbing the walls again.”

Adora laughed, and waved as Glimmer walked away. Then she returned to the earlier cake stall, and ordered a box of four small cupcakes, having finally decided on two with white chocolate frosting and two with white icing and rainbow sprinkles. She took the small cardboard box, and hummed happily to herself while she headed back to the palace. She knew Catra would be waking up right about now, and Adora couldn't wait to see her face when she saw the surprise.

\--

Adora had only taken a few steps further when she heard an angry voice echoing from one of the back alleyways. She couldn’t quite make out the words, but it was a man, and he sounded furious. Adora paused mid-step, torn between heading up the stairs and back to her beautiful, sleepy girlfriend, or down the street to see if anyone needed help.

Curiosity won out in the end, and so she turned into the narrow alley and walked down it, until she was able to hear everything.

“I told you! I literally told you not to fuck up again!” the man yelled.

Adora paused at the end of the alley, where it split into a left bend. She peered around the corner, finding a red-faced Salinean man, probably in his early fifties, hunched over a very small, very young brown-haired girl. He was wobbling on his feet, as though drunk.

“I’m s-sorry,” the little girl stuttered, her eyes wide and fearful as she stared up at him. “I’ll do better next time, Daddy.”

And then the man _slapped_ her, right in the face, so hard that it echoed across the street. “I told you not to call me that, you little shit!”

Adora dropped the box of cakes on the floor. One of them escaped, rolling in a wide curve on its side, leaving a trail of tiny shards of rainbow frosting until it settled by the tip of the man’s large, black boot. He frowned at the small cake, then jolted upright and stared at Adora with hateful eyes. His daughter looked across too, and Adora noticed she had a fresh bruise on her cheek, another one on her temple, and two very distinctive blemishes around her lower neck.

Adora was frozen in place, her heart wildly pumping, blood ringing in her ears. “Leave her alone,” she muttered, barely aware of the words leaving her mouth.

“Charlotte, go to your Mom’s house,” the man said, his voice quieter. The little girl nodded and scurried back from the direction Adora had come. “Now who the fuck are you,” he hissed, jabbing a finger into Adora’s chest, “and why do you think you can interfere in my business?”

He had a rugged, stubbled face, and he stank of alcohol. It wasn’t the reek of sour grapes like Shadow Weaver used to have. It was staler, like a damp, rotting barrel. Adora’s heart was racing faster than ever, she thought she might be having a heart attack. She could barely breathe.

“I said,” the man growled, grabbing Adora’s collar, yanking her towards him then roughly throwing her against the wall. “Who the _fuck_ are you, whore? Did you follow that little cunt here?”

“She’s… she’s your daughter,” Adora choked, barely able to breathe, so tightly was his thick, tattooed forearm held against her throat. “Don’t call her that.”

“Fuck you,” the man growled. He took a step back, spat on the pavement then aimed a wide swing at Adora.

It was as though a pin had dropped. Adora’s heart slowed to a steady rhythm, and she caught his fist in her hand without flinching, then shifted her grip to his wrist and yanked it to the side. The movement made him stumble forwards until they were practically nose to nose, and Adora watched, puzzled, as he somehow shrank, until she was peering down at him and holding his wrist above his head.

He looked so small now. So pathetic.

“What the… what _are_ you!?” he whimpered, looking up at her, his dark brown eyes filled with fear, and in them, a reflection of fire and brimstone.

“Me?” Adora smiled as she lifted his arm higher, high enough that both his feet left the ground and they were eye-level again. “I’m your daughter’s guardian angel.” She clenched her fingers into a tight fist, crunching bones into splinters and muscle to pulp, until the man’s beetroot-coloured hand popped clean off and fell to the floor, leaving a bloody stump.

“Woops.” Adora frowned, wondering when she'd become so strong. “Sorry.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” the man whimpered. He managed to wriggle what was left of his arm from Adora’s grip and landed unsteadily onto his feet. He held the fleshy mess up to his face, where his eyes turned wide. And then, he _screamed_.

Adora frowned. That wouldn’t do. Someone would come, someone would save him, and people that strangled little girls didn’t deserve to be saved, as far as Adora was concerned.

He turned to run, but she grabbed the back of his neck and then smashed him face-first to the rough concrete of the wall, rubbing her thumb against one of the bumps of his spine. “Why do you hurt your own daughter?” Adora asked, breathing the worlds against the sharp, raised hairs behind his neck. 

“I... argh!” the man cried out as Adora grabbed his remaining hand and snapped it backwards, easily shattering every bone in his wrist. “Please! Stop!”

He was being too loud. She had to make this quick. “Is it because you’re a piece of shit?” Adora asked, shaking his arm around and watching his hand limply dangle. “Because that's the only reason I can think of.”

“Yes! I’m a piece of shit,” he whimpered. “I blame her for everything, but it’s me, I’m a piece of shit. Please, let me go, PLEASE! I’ll never hurt her again. Never never never...”

Adora doubted he could hurt her again regardless, since he basically had no hands anymore. For some reason she found the thought hilarious, and couldn't help but laugh loudly, a stark contrast to the whimpers and sobs from the so-called man in front of her. She flipped him around, pinned him with her forearm beneath his neck, and stared him in the eye. “I’m going to let you go now,” she said, smiling as sweetly as she could manage.

His eyes turned watery. “Oh, thank you. Thank you so mu-”

Adora cut him off mid-sentence by grabbing his head and sharply twisting his neck, then she watched, humming away to herself as the life drained out of his eyes. It was oddly cathartic, somehow, watching someone so despicable just fade away to nothing, just like they deserved.

\--

Adora wasn’t a killer. She knew she wasn’t. So when she tried to wake up from whatever nightmare this was, but found that she couldn’t, she instantly began to panic.

“It’s not real,” she told herself, trying to pretend that she didn’t have her hand held to a dead man’s throat right now. “Breathe, idiot.”

 _Breathe_. Just like Catra had shown her a few days ago. _Close your eyes. Take deep breaths, fill your diaphragm as much as possible, and then exhale slowly through your mouth_. Apparently it was something Catra had learned from Bow on her second day here, and a small part of Adora, the one that didn’t feel like it was going batshit crazy right now, felt a pang of warmth at the notion that Catra and Bow had become such fast friends. Not that Catra would admit it, of course.

Adora opened her eyes, then snapped them closed again. “Nope. Not real.”

 _But what if it is?_ Adora thought.

She took a few more deep, controlled breaths, then in one quick motion she opened her eyes, released her hand and backed away. She gasped, watching in horror as the man’s limp body slid down the wall, then crumpled to the floor. His glazed-over lifeless eyes stared right at her, almost accusingly.

Adora shook her head rapidly and then began to pace around. It couldn’t be real. She was still in bed with Catra. They’d both slept in after last night, and Adora had never gone out.

_That’s it._

_Yeah, that has to be it._

Something squished beneath Adora’s boot, and she lifted her leg to find a mushed up cupcake there. That meant the market was a dream too, and meeting Glimmer had been a part of it as well. Adora bit into her lower lip, hard enough to draw blood, figuring that it’d wake her up. But it didn’t.

The corpse was still right there, head twisted at an odd angle, one hand broken and the other ripped clean off, exactly like Adora remembered.

“No…” Adora whispered, her lower lip trembling.

There was a thick stream of blood leaking from the end of the man’s crumpled forearm, flowing down one of the shallow grooves of the tiled pavement, until it met and pooled around the box of cupcakes that Adora had bought earlier. The corner of the white container had started to turn a dark shade of crimson, the stain slowly spreading as blood seeped into the cardboard.

Adora shook her head again. “Just wake up just wake up just wake up...” She raised her hands, and was about to splay her fingers into her fringe. But then she noticed one of her hands was painted with a damp, red slick.

It was as though she’d been punched in the stomach.

 _This is real._

Adora choked out a loud sob, and placed her clean hand over her mouth, whimpering. “Fuck...” Her vision blurred and she grimaced, falling onto her ass and propping herself up with one arm. Everything spun around, and she came very close to throwing up but somehow managed to get past the nausea, by closing her eyes and taking even more deep, controlled breaths.

_What’s happening to me!?_

She tried to recall exactly how she got here. The little girl. The marks on her neck. The guy, her own Father, slapping her so hard. Adora knew she must have somehow lost control after that. She knew that she’d caught that punch, and then... and then… she had felt so, incredibly, _angry_.

_And then I killed him._

“No!” Adora sobbed, squeezing her knees as tightly to her chest as possible. She felt sick, dazed and confused. She shuffled away to the opposite wall and began to gently rock herself, clenching her hands together, willing her thoughts to stop and give her just a moment of peace. She wasn’t a killer. It wasn’t who she was, she was a nice person.

She’d just wanted to scare him a little, that’s all. At least, that’s the last thing she remembered making a conscious decision about. Everything else had felt as though she were a different person, making impulsive, awful choices based on instinct alone.

Adora would never hurt anyone.

 _Unless they deserved it_. 

Her eyes snapped open at the last thought, and dread seeped into Adora’s bones. Maybe she had been in control, after all. Maybe some part of her was a monster.

\--

Adora didn’t know how long she stayed there, frozen in place, her head and heart throbbing with conflicting emotions. But when she heard the distinctive sound of claws tapping against tiles, of Catra’s approaching footsteps, she burst into tears, clutching her knees even more tightly around herself. Catra would hate her for this, and Adora couldn’t bear the thought of it.

Adora heard a sharp intake of breath, followed by hurried footsteps.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.”

Catra’s warm arms wrapped around her, and Adora uncurled herself just enough to latch on, cling onto Catra, and openly sob into her chest. She didn’t even know how she’d found her here, though knowing Catra it had to have been through her nose.

Adora waited and waited for Catra to push her away, to be repulsed. But it never came, and so Adora stayed there, inhaling Catra’s familiar scent between her ragged sobs, enjoying the soothing strokes of Catra’s hand against her head, until she’d finally calmed down. She pulled away from their embrace, finding nothing but compassion in those beautiful gold and blue eyes.

“So…” Catra smiled, and tipped her head backwards. “What did he do?”

The question startled Adora. “Don’t you mean what did _I_ do?” she asked, sniffing.

Catra wiped Adora’s cheeks dry with her thumbs. “No, dummy. What did _he_ do? I know you wouldn’t do this without a good reason.”

Adora blinked a few times, then spoke slowly. “He… he was beating up his kid, slapping her and choking her and,” Adora began, feeling her anger resurface at the words. “She was just a little girl. She had so many bruises, all over her face and neck and I… I-” she choked out a sob, and was unable to finish the sentence.

“Shh,” Catra pulled her into another hug. “I get it. Sounds like he got what was coming to him.”

“How can you say that?” Adora whispered the words into Catra’s thick mane. “I just murdered someone... _again_.”

Catra went quiet for a while after that, but she never stopped stroking Adora’s back, for which she was grateful.

“One of mine wasn’t self defense,” said Catra, eventually. “One of the seven, I mean.”

“What?” Adora asked, pulling away to look at her. “What happened?”

“It was one of our own soldiers,” Catra said, sighing deeply. “I caught him with his pants down, forcing himself on some poor Plumerian girl. She was terrified, and there were kids there, too. It was fucking awful. I almost left the horde after that.”

Adora grimaced at the visual. “Please tell me you kicked his ass.”

Catra chuckled humourlessly. “Worse. I dragged him out into the shadows and slit his throat.” she stretched out the claw on her index finger and drew a line across her neck. “I wasn’t even sorry, Adora. So I guess I’m a murderer, too.”

Adora was careful not to react in any visible way to the admission. She was so grateful that Catra had opened up like that, just when she needed her the most, and she didn’t want to burst the bubble. “Thanks…” she said, simply. She felt at least a little comforted by the fact that she wasn’t the only one who’d done something so terrible. “For telling me that. It… it helps.”

Catra released a long breath. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“No,” Adora shook her head, then smiled. “I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if it did.” But it still gnawed at her bones, the idea that she was capable of this kind of thing at all, and worse, that it didn’t seem to bother her nearly as much as it should.

“That girl,” Catra gently tucked a few loose strands of hair behind Adora’s ear. “You mentioned she’d been strangled?”

Adora nodded. “She had bruises around her neck.” She trailed her fingers along Catra’s throat, which still had the faintest of marks around it, too. If it weren’t for magicat healing, they would become permanent scars.

“It’s probably a trigger or something,” Catra continued. “Just try not to beat yourself up about it, okay?”

“But,” Adora whispered, clenching tightly onto Catra’s shirt, terrified of the admission she was about to make. “What if… what if I didn’t _hate_ doing it? What if a part of me thought he deserved it?”

“Hah!” Catra laughed, and Adora was taken aback to find her wearing a wide grin.

“How can you be okay with that!?” Adora demanded.

“Because I love you, idiot.” Catra smiled, tipping her forehead to Adora’s. “And if my girlfriend happens to enjoy taking out the trash, I’m all for it.”

“Taking out the… _haha!_ ” Adora suddenly burst into laughter, but then she slapped a hand over her mouth, mortified. “Stop it! I just killed someone. This isn’t funny.”

Catra tipped her nose to Adora’s. “Yeah I know. You’re in shock again, dummy.” And then she kissed her, slowly.

It was like Catra always knew what Adora needed, and she savoured the taste of her lips, coaxing them open so that she could taste her tongue, too. “This helps,” Adora muttered, smiling against Catra’s mouth.

Catra smiled, and gently rested her palms against Adora’s cheeks. “Good. Do you think you keep it together long enough for us to fix this?”

Adora followed Catra’s gaze to the mangled body. “Uh. Yeah I… I think so.” She wondered how the hell she’d done that kind of damage with her bare hands, and also wondered why Catra hadn’t mentioned it. “What did you have in mind? Do you think his family will look for him?”

Catra stood up and scratched behind her neck. “Yeah I don’t think we’ll get away with death by drinking on this one. Hmm.” She paced around a while, holding her thumb beneath her chin, her tail waving to and fro.

Adora found the sight of a deeply-focused Catra oddly endearing. She stood up and grabbed her wrist, then pulled her into a tight embrace. 

“Hey,” Catra said, leaning back and arching an eyebrow. “What was that for?”

Adora smiled, and quickly pecked her on the lips. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Being you. I love you.”

Catra began to purr. “I love you too, Adora. But I don’t think we should make out right now.”

Adora laughed again, surprised that Catra’s company alone was making everything seem so much better. She barely even cared that there was a body on the ground anymore, other than the immediate threat it posed if they didn’t dispose of it, and quickly.

“Fine then,” Adora pouted, pulling away from the hug. “How about later?”

“Maybe,” Catra purred, her lips spreading into a single-toothed smirk. “Hey! Stop distracting me, we need to get rid of-”

_boom._

The sound of a loud explosion somewhere nearby interrupted Catra, and less than a second later terrified screams could be heard in the air, alongside distant rumbling. 

Adora scanned upwards, finding nothing but thick, dark clouds in the sky. “Is it a storm?”

“No,” Catra said, grabbing Adora’s hand and dragging her into a sprint. “Something’s not right. Come on.”

“But what about the bod-”

They both abruptly halted, skidding in their tracks when they saw the marketplace up ahead, and beyond it, plumes of smoke and raging fires. Another loud explosion sounded and more flames burst into life, their bright orange glow an eerie contrast against the pink palace walls.

“I think we have bigger problems, Adora...” Catra squeezed her hand, and a feeling of dread creeped up Adora’s spine as a group of a dozen large, round horde bots scuttled down the cobbled street, no doubt chasing the fleeing citizens. “I think all of Brightmoon does.” 


	13. End Of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

Catra held tightly onto Adora’s hand, wondering what the hell they were supposed to do now.

“Hordak...” Adora sighed, and shook her head. “He came for us after all.”

“We don’t know that,” said Catra, waiting for her heart to stop racing and her mind to stop reeling. She couldn’t even begin to fathom how Adora had somehow plucked a guy’s hand clean off. 

“Catra?”

“Hmm? Yeah, sorry.” She almost wished she hadn’t spotted that specific, peculiar detail, because other than that she wasn’t too bothered about Adora killing an abusive piece of shit. She might have even done the same, though perhaps not so completely randomly, and in broad daylight.

“Should we try to get back inside the palace?” Adora asked. “It’ll be safer there.”

“Yeah,” said Catra. “Just wait here a second.”

She scaled the front of the nearest house with ease, and clambered up the slanted rooftop, peering cautiously over the top of the building. The bots from earlier were far away by now, and there were no signs of additional troops coming from any direction, so Catra hopped back down, landing next to Adora.

“Clear?”

“Yup. But we still need to be careful. Come on.” Catra took Adora’s hand and they headed back outside of the alley, pausing to check up and down the market square. Once Catra was sure the coast was clear, they both hurried towards the palace while hiding in the shadows of the extravagant homes along the outskirts of the recently-bustling square.

“So we’re just leaving him?” Adora whispered, tipping her head back.

Catra nodded. “They’ll probably just blame the Horde.” The irony that the Horde had actually helped them with their more immediate problem wasn’t lost on Catra. Almost every stall had been crushed beneath the army of bots, but there were no bodies, other than the one in the back alley, that is. If they survived this mess Catra wanted to figure out what was making Adora lose her shit, then help her manage it instead of being so damn reactive. Shadow Weaver was one thing. But random civilians? That kind of damage would get them into trouble, and fast.

“Looks clear,” Adora said, nodding at the stairway into the palace ahead. 

They ran up the stairs single file, but no sooner were they inside than they ended up face-to-face with three horde soldiers in the middle of the entry hall. Adora instantly reached for her dagger and shifted to an offensive stance. She looked like she was about to spring an attack on the lead solder, but paused in her spring when they yanked their helmet off quickly.

“Wait!” Kyle said, his loose blonde locks setting around his face. “Adora, relax! It’s us!”

Rogelio and Lonnie pulled their helmets off too, but Adora appeared uncertain. Her hand was trembling, with the blade still tucked by her wrist, and her arm pointed squarely at Kyle. Catra placed a hand over hers, and forced her to lower it.

“At ease, soldier,” she purred. “They're friendlies. Or they’d _better_ be,” she glared at the three of them pointedly.

“We’re on your side, but you know the drill,” Lonnie said, shrugging. “They say jump, we jump. What else are we supposed to do?”

“Oh I don’t know, have you tried _not_ jumping?” Adora said, her voice tinged with ice. She bent down and tucked her dagger away again, while Rogelio grunted a few times, before his shoulders sagged.

Kyle placed a hand on Rogelio’s arm, then frowned at Adora. “It’s not that easy, you know.”

“Really?” Adora folded her arms. “Because I left the second I knew what the Horde was really doing.”

“Good for you,” Lonnie said, rolling her eyes. “Not all of us have magic swords and superpowers. You know what they do to deserters, right? Ones that aren’t special, like you two?”

“I’ve heard.” Catra winced. “Last guy got thrown in the incinerator. The one before that, chained up and left to starve.”

“Oh,” Adora said, holding her arm, and looking down to the floor. 

Rogelio grunted a dozen times, and Kyle nodded. “Exactly. Rogelio says we’re doing what we can, Adora. From the inside.”

“So back off,” said Lonnie.

“Enough already! She gets it.” Catra nudged Adora in her waist. “Right, Adora?”

“Right. Sorry,” she said, raising her head and looking at the three of them. “I’m just a little stressed. What with Hordak chasing us and... “ she shook her head. “Other stuff.”

“We forgive you,” said Kyle, placing a hand on Adora’s shoulder, then stepping back. 

Catra laced her fingers with Adora’s, ignored the three pairs of eyebrows that shot up in response, and took a deep breath. “So, are you going to tell us what the hell is going on?” 

“Hordak’s after you,” Lonnie said, peering down at their joined hands. “You must have really pissed him off.”

“Yeah…” Catra frowned, wondering if anyone actually knew the specifics of what they’d done. “You could say that. But why now?”

Kyle hummed. “Took him time to build up enough bots, I suppose.”

“Entrapta…” Adora said, her expression turning darker. “Did she help him?”

“They don’t tell us anything like that,” Kyle said, his shoulders slumping. “We’re just grunts, remember.”

“Anyway, we’d better get a move on,” Lonnie said, putting her helmet on. “We’ll tell them this area’s clear. Should buy you some time.”

Catra placed a hand on Lonnie’s shoulder. “Hey. I owe you one.”

“Just get out of here, before he finds you,” Lonnie said, walking away. She paused for a moment. “I don’t know what he has planned, but it’s probably something awful.”

“Oh, and congratulations!” Kyle said, waving. “Took you both long enough.”

“Idiots,” Catra mumbled, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. She watched the three of them head down to the market square, presumably following the same patrol route as the bots. She suspected they’d all be looping a wide area around the castle, meaning they’d circle back through here at some point. 

When she turned to face Adora, she found her staring vacantly at a wall. “Hey. Don’t flake out on me now.” She nudged her shoulder. “We’ve got shit to do.”

“I...” Adora said, her skin turning pale. “I was going to stab him.” her eyes turned wide, and she released Catra’s hand, then grasped her shoulders. “I think there’s something seriously wrong with me.” 

Catra needed Adora to keep it together. She placed her palms on her cheeks and tipped her forehead to hers. “Hey... We’re both kind of fucked up. But does it matter?” Catra leaned forwards and gently kissed her. “We still have each other, don’t we?”

Adora smiled at the words. Her brows dipped, and her gaze softened. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?”

“I’m not going to answer that.”

Catra nestled her fingers behind Adora’s neck. “That’s probably a good idea.” She kissed her again. “Let’s head to your room. They’ll be coming back through here any minute.”

“My room, huh,” Adora mumbled, smiling against Catra’s lips. “Do you think we’d have time to...”

“Wow, really?” Catra chuckled. “You’re such a horndog, Adora.”

\--

The two of them made it further into the palace and other than several palace guards rushing past them, they arrived at the bedroom without further incident.

“I need to wash this off,” Adora said, peering down at her stained hands. Her expression was unreadable, so Catra placed a hand on her shoulder, and squeezed.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Adora blinked a few times, and shook her head, chuckling. “Not really. Are you?”

Catra smiled. “Not really.”

Adora caught her lips in a quick kiss, and then headed to the bathroom. “I won’t be long.”

While Adora ran water into the sink, Catra strode over to her balcony, and grabbed the white marble bannister, peering around outside. The skies were overcast with thick, dark clouds, like there’d be a storm at any moment, so visibility wasn’t that great. It looked like this side of the palace was pretty much surrounded, with dozens of bots and hundreds of troops around the outer walls and within the main courtyard itself. There was no sign of any tanks though, and Catra assumed it was because it’d be a pain to get them through the forest. 

“Assholes,” Catra mumbled to herself.

She pricked her ears forwards, and listened to the symphony of battle. She could hear the sounds of outraged or terrified screams, the blast of laser fire, and the clang of metal on metal. Catra had never been fond of war, or fighting. She wondered what her life would have been like if things had turned out differently. If she’d been raised like a normal kid, in a healthy, happy household. But then she might never have met Adora, and that’s a sacrifice she’d never be willing to make.

“Hey,” Adora stood by Catra’s side, folded her arms atop the bannister, and peered into the distance. “Looks bad out there.”

Catra hummed in agreement. “That’s one word for it.”

“We still have the rifle,” Adora squinted, as though picking out a target. “So I’ll snipe-”

“No, Adora,” Catra sighed. She turned around and placed a hand on her cheek. “We have to get out of here. Come on.” She walked inside, reached into Adora’s wardrobe and pulled out their large satchels. But Adora didn’t move. She just stood there, hands folded, leaning against the balcony doorway. “Adora.” Catra frowned. “You’re not seriously thinking of staying?”

“He’s coming for _us_ , Catra,” Adora sighed, walking towards the bed and flopping onto the side of it. “We can’t just let everyone fight on our behalf.”

“Seriously,” Catra grumbled, grabbing a pile of clothes and stuffing it into her bag. “Your conscience has to pick _now_ of all times to make an appearance?”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Adora snapped. She strode over to Catra, took her own satchel, and started to aggressively pack it. On one hand Catra was relieved she’d apparently decided to leave with her, on the other, very much angry with herself for saying something so insensitive. Especially when Adora was having such a rough time.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Catra sighed, and placed her hand on Adora’s arm. “I didn’t mean it. You’re just… a better person than me, Adora. You always will be.”

Adora removed Catra’s hand from her arm, and clasped both her hands around it. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. Sometimes I wonder why you even keep me around.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re hot.”

Catra laughed, “Knew it. It’s all about my looks.”

Adora suddenly swooped forwards, placed a palm against her cheek, and kissed her. “Well, you _are_ gorgeous. But I kind of like you, too.”

“Is that so,” Catra purred, licking her lips.

Suddenly the air behind them shifted, and Glimmer appeared in the middle of the room. “Guys, I found you!” she exclaimed. Then she scowled. “You’re making out? Seriously!?”

“We were packing, actually,” Catra said, holding up her quarter-full bag.

“Sorry,” Adora winced, lifting her bag too. “Wherever Catra goes, I go...”

Catra’s heart sank at the words. She didn’t like the idea that she was forcing Adora to go against her morals, especially not when she was already spiralling. And yet here Catra was, ready to run, putting herself first, just like always. But this time she was doing it to protect Adora, too.

“It’s fine. I was going to ask you to grab your things anyway,” Glimmer said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “We’re to evacuate all civilians. That includes you two.”

“What? Since when?” Adora asked, standing upright and placing her hands on her hips. “We’re trained soldiers, probably a hundred times better in a fight then any of the guards here.”

Glimmer frowned. “I thought you were packing? You literally just said you’re leaving, with Catra.”

“I, uh-” 

“You’re also…” Glimmer winced, and pressed her fingertips together. “Well, not fit to fight right now. We’ve talked about this, Adora.”

“Wait,” Catra stood up, and dropped her satchel. “If they’re evacuating, does that mean you’re actually losing?”

“I’m afraid so. We’re outnumbered three to one, and that doesn’t include the bots.”

“Shit,” Adora said, sitting on the end of the bed. She rested her elbows on her knees, and her forehead in her hands. “Shit shit shit.”

Catra hurried over and sat beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders. “Hey. It’ll be okay.”

“No it won’t!” Adora snapped, her cheeks damp. “He’s here for _us_ , Catra. We can’t let all these people die. Please…”

“Damn it Adora,” Catra groaned, hating the fact that Adora was actually talking her around. Catra _wasn’t_ a good person. She didn’t care about defending this place, even if Bow and Glimmer had grown on her. She only cared that the two of them lived to see another day. Adora, though… she’d always be Adora. And maybe that was why Catra loved her so much.

Glimmer sat by the other side of Adora, and rested her palms flat on her own lap. “I figured that might be why he came,” she sighed. “He’s a spiteful, horrible person, right? And you took down his second in command, so...”

“If you knew that, why were you trying to make us leave?” Adora asked, turning to face her. “You really think I’d sacrifice all of Brightmoon, and for what? So we can delay him a little?” She turned to face Catra. “Because that’s all it would be. A delay. He’d always find us.”

Catra leaned back on her elbows and sighed, deeply. She hated to admit it, but Adora was right. “So what, we go out there and face him?”

“No, guys,” Glimmer said, “That’s not happening.”

“It is.” Adora said, her expression hardening. “We’ll go out there, and we’ll kill him.”

Catra sat upright and frowned. “How?! I lost count of how many soldiers are out there.”

Glimmer stood up. “Adora, there’s nothing you can do,” she walked in front of them and reached her hands out, palms upward. “Please, let me just take you both somewhere safer.”

“Don’t touch me,” Adora said, shuffling away on the bed. “I don’t want to be teleported anywhere, Glimmer. I mean it.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible,” Glimmer scowled, folding her arms. She started to pace around. “Catra’s right, though. We just don’t have enough firepower.”

“A bit of extra princess power would be handy right about now,” said Catra, scratching behind her ear. “Where are they all, anyway?”

“Defending,” Glimmer groaned. “Hordak attacked them as well. Turns out it was just a fraction of his forces, though. A distraction.”

“He’s done _all_ that just to get to us?” Catra asked, shaking her head. “He’s a fucking lunatic.”

“Well, it also means he can conquer Etheria,” said Glimmer. “If Brightmoon falls, he’ll be well on his way to winning this war.”

“Hmm, two birds one stone,” Catra mumbled.

“This…. This is all our fault.” Adora hunched forwards. “If we hadn’t come here, he might have chased us instead.”

Catra tutted. “Yeah, and we’d be dead, and then he’d _still_ attack Brightmoon.”

Glimmer stopped pacing. She walked towards Adora, kneeled down, and placed a hand on her lap. “This isn’t your fault, okay? Neither of you asked for this. And I’m so, so glad you came back, Adora. And you, Catra.”

“Pfft yeah right,” Catra grinned. “I’m sure everyone loves having me here.”

Glimmer frowned, then placed her other hand on Catra’s knee. “They do. It turns out you’re a half decent person, sometimes...”

Catra smiled, and shook her head. “I’m not. I just have a girlfriend who makes me do the right thing, occasionally.”

“Aww,” Adora’s eyes sparkled, and she took Catra’s hands in hers. “So we’re staying?”

“Yes. But we really, really need a plan. I’m not doing your bullshit thing where you all charge in and get yourselves nearly killed.”

Glimmer stood up, and peered down at the two of them. “I really can’t talk you out of this, can I?”

“Nope,” said Catra, shrugging. “Wherever Adora goes, I go.”

“Copycat,” Adora mumbled, much to Catra’s amusement.

“Fine,” Glimmer said, smiling with a subtle shake of her head. “I’ll go find Bow. He should have all the surveillance data by now.” She teleported away a second later, leaving the two of them alone again.

Catra swallowed thickly, an anxious knot forming in her throat. “Hey, Adora.”

Adora wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and pulled her close. “Hmm?”

“What if this is it?” She asked, resting her head on Adora’s shoulder. “What if we only got a week?”

“Don’t say that.”

“There’s... “ Catra began, feeling her heart ache. “So much stuff I haven’t told you. About how I feel, and-”

“Shh,” Adora said, placing a finger on her lips. “You can tell me after all this is over.”

“Hah, you’re always so cocksure, aren’t you.”

Adora kissed the top of her head. “Well yeah. Most of the time.”

Catra laughed at that. She both hated and loved Adora’s ridiculous levels of confidence, although these days it was generally always the latter. “Hey,” she said, lifting her head. “Lay with me awhile? Just until Glimmer’s back.”

Adora smiled and shuffled backwards, then stretched out on the far side of the bed. Catra scooted up right next to her, until they were face to face. She curled herself up a little, and started to purr the moment Adora’s arms were wrapped around her, and lips were pressed to the top of her head.

“You’re being awfully soft today,” Adora mumbled into her hair, while stroking it.

“I just… I have a bad feeling about all of this.”

“We’ll be fine. Glimmer has awesome magic, Bow is a fantastic shot, and you and me? We’re badasses.”

“I hope you’re right, Adora,” Catra sighed, shuffling even closer, until her forehead was resting against Adora’s breast. “I only just got you.” She wrapped her arms around Adora’s waist, holding on tightly. “So don’t go dying on me, okay?”

“I won’t,” Adora said, squeezing Catra back just as tightly. “Same goes for you.”

“Hah! I’m too fast for them, you know that.”

“mmHmm,” Adora mumbled. “That’s true.”

\--

“Glimmer! What’s wrong!”

Catra was roused by Adora’s sudden movement, and her panicked voice. She didn’t even realise she’d fallen asleep, but when she sat up and turned around she found Glimmer appearing frantic, her face full of tears.

“They took him!”

“What?!” Adora exclaimed, rushing from the bed and putting her hands on Glimmer’s shoulders.

“Bow!” Glimmer burst into tears. “They’ve got Bow!”

“Slow down Sparkles,” Catra said, standing up and folding her arms. “Tell us everything.”

Glimmer sat on the bed and did just that, between her sobs. Bow had been caught while sneaking around Hordak’s camp, but not before sending one last video message, along with his coordinates. 

“Well then,” Catra said, cracking her knuckles. “I guess now the plan is to kill Hordak, _and_ rescue your boyfriend.”

“W-What if they’ve killed him!?” wailed Glimmer.

“Hordak would keep him alive,” Adora said, rooting around the wardrobe and pulling out two more daggers with sheaths, which she hooked onto her belt, as well as their laser rifle, which she slung into a leather harness, secured around her shoulder. 

“Yeah.” Catra mused. “He’d use him for ransom, probably in exchange for us, thinking about it.”

“Too bad for him we were headed there anyway,” Adora grinned. She tied her hair back and checked over her equipment.

Glimmer appeared uncertain. “Guys, are you sure about this? I thought you wanted to make a plan?”

“The plan is you get us to those coordinates,” Catra smirked, “and we’ll all kick his ass, okay?”

Glimmer lunged forwards, pulling both Catra and Adora into a tight hug. “Thank you. And I’m so, so sorry for putting you through this…”

“Don’t sweat it, Sparkles,” Catra said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We’ve been soldiers our whole lives. This is what we do best.”

\--

They’d planned to teleport a quarter of a mile north of Bow’s coordinates, where the woods would give them a decent amount of cover. They’d then sneak around the outskirts of Hordak’s camp, and single him out, capturing or killing him and avoiding any more deaths than were necessary. But of course, nothing in Catra’s life had ever really gone right, and why would it start now?

That’s what she thought to herself, when instead of popping out into the forest, they appeared a few feet in the air above the palace’s courtyard.

“Argh!” Glimmer yelled, clutching her head as they all fell to the ground, right in the middle of the ongoing battle.

 _So much for a fucking plan_ , Catra thought. “Sparkles! Get us out of here.”

But Glimmer was still clutching her head in pain, and Catra figured they must be using some sort of anti-magic tech. She scanned around the battleground, realising very quickly that the Brightmoon guards were not only outnumbered, but also outmatched. She wondered if they’d ever had actual combat training.

“This isn’t good,” said Adora.

Catra cursed. “No shit. Here they come.”

Lightning flickered in the sky, reflecting from the helmets of almost a dozen soldiers as they headed straight for them. A loud _boom_ rumbled all around, and it began to pour it down in thick, heavy droplets. Catra stretched out her claws, and Adora unsheathed two daggers, the two of them crouching into low, balanced fighting stances.

“Traitors!” A soldier shouted, pointing his rifle at Catra’s nose. “You’re coming with us.”

It all happened so fast. The rain was pouring, drenching into Catra’s fur and streaming from her eyebrows, making it hard to see. She blinked, once, there was another flash of lightning, and then Adora was on the guy, her dagger plunged into his neck just as thunder boomed around them.

And then, there was chaos.

“Glimmer! Stay down!” Catra yelled.

“Get them!” The soldiers shouted, and then they charged. Catra jumped and slammed her feet into the nearest soldier's chest, sending them crashing to the floor, then used her momentum to dive onto the next-closest, raking her claws deeply across their chest. _Eight_ , Catra thought, noticing Adora finish the one she’d kicked to the floor. She leapt to another soldier’s shoulders, deeply slicing her nails through the skin beneath their helm, _Nine_ , and then leapt to another, her feet landing on his chest, drop-kicking him to the floor. She stabbed her pointed fingers into his chest, piercing his heart. _Ten_.

“Behind you!” Adora yelled, her eyes wide as she plucked her daggers from her current target’s chest.

Lightning flashed again. Catra ducked, watching as Adora unhooked her laser rifle and fired off three shots just behind. In the meantime two soldiers had gotten behind Adora, closing in on her before she could defend. “I’ve got your back!” Catra sprang forwards from her crouched position and dove onto the first one, stabbing her nails into the flesh beneath their helmet, then swinging herself around his bloodied neck and viciously kicking the other one on their back. They stumbled forwards, landing right on Adora’s blades.

_Twelve._

They’d taken down eight or nine soldiers between them, but an even larger group took their place, and this time two of them were taking aim with beam weapons. Adora grabbed Glimmer and they both dove to the ground at the same time as Catra, narrowly avoiding the superheated lasers.

“Glimmer!” Catra yelled. “At least try to teleport yourself out.”

“I can’t!” she yelled. “My powers aren’t working.”

“ _Fuck!_ ” Catra hissed. She saw the two marksmen tracking them with a steady aim while their weapons cooled. “Adora, four o’ clock.”

“Yup, I see,” she said. “Glimmer, stay here.”

A moment later they both barrelled through the front ranks, taking down two soldiers each as they went, before they dove onto the snipers, with daggers and claws aimed at their jugulars. With them out of the way, it wasn’t too difficult to take out the rest of the group, and by the time they’d carved themselves a clearing Catra had lost count of how many she’d killed. She shook the blood from beneath her nails, and Adora cleaned her dagger against a dead soldier’s outfit. Then they both headed back to where they’d left Glimmer.

Except she wasn’t there anymore.

“Shit!” Catra said, scanning up and down the battlefield, before she spotted her being dragged through the north exit, towards the forest. “Stop them, idiots!” She yelled at the palace guards, as she and Adora ran by. But the few guards that remained were busy fighting for their lives.

More horde soldiers flocked together in front of them. “Stop resistin- ugh!”

“Stay out of our way!” Adora snapped, her dagger already plunged into his neck. “Or _die_.”

To Catra’s surprise, at least half of the soldiers backed off. Maybe it was the sight of Adora’s face, twisted in rage, rain streaming down her blood-smeared skin, or maybe Catra herself appeared intimidating right now. Her fur was stood on end. She had blood all over her clothes and was baring her fangs, ready to take down any bastard that stood in their way. And those few that did were soon torn apart, between flashes of lightning, steel and claws.

“Almost there,” Catra panted, running with Adora towards the courtyard exit, her feet slapping against the drenched concrete tiles beneath.

They got so close to reaching Glimmer, too. But in the heat of battle Catra had forgotten one very important detail. It was only when they’d torn through the remaining formation of soldiers and made their way to the exit, rapidly gaining on Glimmer, that she remembered. And by then it was far, far too late.

“ADORA!”

A wide, red beam ripped a hole through Adora’s chest, and she appeared confused, just for a second, before she collapsed in a heap. _The bots_ , Catra thought, cold terror filling her veins. With no horde soldiers in their line of sight, and no risk of collateral damage, they were free to open fire. Catra didn’t even have time to regret her mistake. A beam tore through the outside of her right thigh and left calf, then another shot burned a hole through her ribs, and she almost blacked out as she fell to the floor.

\--

Catra couldn’t feel her legs. But her arms still worked, and Adora was right there, just a couple of paces ahead. She had to get to her. She reached out her arms and dug her nails into the wet concrete, pulling herself closer, choking on her own blood with each movement, screaming in agony as she clawed her way there inch by agonising inch. The rain was falling so heavily that Catra could barely see. But she saw enough. Adora’s body was surrounded by a pool of crimson, diluted by the relentless downpour. She wasn’t moving, and Catra feared the worst, but she kept on moving, dragging herself closer… closer… until she was finally face to face with Adora’s fading blue eyes. 

“H-hey... “ Adora whispered. She was laid flat on her front, head turned to the side, and by some miracle still breathing, barely. 

“Hey... Ad-ora,” Catra gasped. She was shivering violently, and her head was spinning. 

“You’re hurt…”

“Hah. Says... you.” Catra winced. “Idiot.”

Adora reached a trembling hand out, and rested it on Catra’s cheek, but she didn't even feel the touch. Her whole body was becoming numb, and she knew she was just about finished. Catra wished she’d told Adora everything, wished she’d opened her heart to her, and wished they’d had more time. But at least they’d had something, even if it was just one beautiful, perfect week together.

“Catra…” said Adora, shivering. “I’m s-scared...” 

“Hey. We always said it’d be you and me, r-remember?” Catra spoke slowly, barely able to breathe. “Together, at the end of the world.” She coughed up a thick river of blood. “Looks like we made it…”

“No.” Adora whimpered. “Not so s-soon. Not like… this...” 

Catra managed to raise her hand to Adora’s messy, bloodied hair, and tuck a few loose strands behind her ear. But then her arm went dead and fell to the ground, with her hand resting just beneath Adora’s lips. She knew that last thing she’d ever see would be Adora’s beautiful blue eyes, and she was grateful for that, at least.

“Adora... listen.” Catra said, each syllable feeling as though it twisted a blade inside her chest. “You... are my _everything_. My… wh-whole… world...” Catra felt so cold, now. And so tired.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, s-so... sorry,” Adora said, her face crumpling, rain and tears running down the creases of her skin. “You’re my world too. Don’t leave me… _please..._ ”

“Shh,” Catra managed. And it was all she _could_ manage. Her eyes fell closed, and her whole body felt like frozen, heavy lead. This was it. Game over. Her one remaining thought was hope, hope that she’d see Adora again, someday, somehow.

“Catra…” 

And then, there was nothing but darkness. 


	14. I Am Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Adora**

“Catra…”

Adora watched Catra’s beautiful gold and blue eyes glaze over, until they stared back at her vacantly. They remained open, and unblinking, even when raindrops fell upon them. Adora couldn’t process this. She couldn’t bring herself to shift her fingers away from Catra’s cheek to close her eyes, because that would make it more real, somehow. So instead, she focused on the cold, hard facts.

 _She must have taken a shot through the femoral artery,_ Adora reasoned. That’s why it had happened so fast. That’s why Catra had died first, and left her here to bleed out, alone. Adora hadn’t been quite so lucky. She was paralysed from her left shoulder down to her hips, and beyond. She couldn’t feel her legs. Based on her rate of blood loss, and the fact she was struggling to stay conscious, Adora assumed she had perhaps a minute left. Two at most. And then maybe, maybe she’d see Catra again in the next life. It was something to hold on to, some small, desperate thought to keep her sane in her final moments.

“Catra…” she whispered her name again, hoping that perhaps she’d been mistaken. Perhaps Catra wasn’t gone, not yet. It could have all been a trick of the light, since the rain was falling so thickly. But then lighting flickered across the sky, and in the sudden illumination Catra’s eyes appeared deader than ever.

They didn’t blink.

Catra was dead... and Adora wished for nothing more than to join her.

The downpour continued, roughly pelting against her skin, but Adora could barely even feel it anymore. Darkness crept around her peripheral vision, until it was a struggle to keep her eyes open. She was on her way, at last, so she shifted her fingers and gently lowered Catra’s eyelids, before allowing her own eyes to close.

Adora hoped that would be an end to it. To everything.

But then she heard footsteps nearby. Adora cracked open one eye, watching, mortified, as a boot kicked into Catra’s limp body, shifting it a few inches away from her.

“Yup, this one’s dead.” Adora felt the cold steel of a gun pressed beneath her chin, and then her head was tilted up. “This one too, more or less.”

“Fuck. Hordak will kill us.”

“Dumb fucking bots. We were meant to take them alive!”

“Hey Jake, watch this,” one of the men yelled. “I’m a magicat, rawr!”

The man removed his gun from her chin, and Adora’s head fell back to the ground. She could barely see, thanks to the heavy rain, but she saw enough. One of the soldiers was hunched over, holding Catra’s dead body over his back. His fingers were forcibly laced with hers, and he was causing her claws to lash around, while making growling noises. 

And then they were laughing, loudly. All of them. They even took their helmets off, and Adora wanted nothing more than to rip the smile off their stupid fucking faces.

“Bastards…” she seethed.

She watched as they violated Catra’s body, using her like some kind of prop in a sick, macabre play. She watched as they laughed, as they _jeered_ , and in that moment Adora wanted nothing more than to watch them die, and watch them _suffer_. A flood of superheated _rage_ tore through her, bursting from her heart to her lungs, and shooting down her spine, her gut, and her legs. Her heart sped up, beating harder and faster, faster still, until she felt it pounding viciously against her ribs. 

_HOW DARE THEY?_

Adora grit her teeth and snarled as the last threads of her sanity snapped. She wasn’t done. She wasn’t even close to being done.

“ _BASTARDS!_ ” she screamed, slamming her palms against the concrete, and somehow finding the strength to lift herself, one foot after the other. She couldn't stand the injustice of it all. What had they ever done to deserve such a short-lived, miserable existence? Where was their chance of happiness? Of a long, blissful life?

A _week_? That’s all they got?

 _I’ll kill them all_ , Adora thought, storming towards the men as lightning flickered above. She didn’t feel any pain from her wounds anymore, only rage, searing through her veins, and anguish, flowing from her eyes.

“Holy shit! She’s alive!” One of the soldiers aimed his gun upwards towards Adora’s face, but she deftly swatted it away with the back of her hand, causing it to skid noisily across the cracked paving stones. Then she reached her other hand forwards, gripped the soldier’s throat, and crushed his windpipe. He fell to the floor while gargling bubbles of blood.

A loud _boom_ cracked overhead while Adora stomped towards the other two men. The one with Catra’s body on his back quickly put her down and shuffled away, holding his hands out.

“I’m… I’m sorry!”

“You will be.” 

The third soldier zapped her with a shock stick, but Adora barely noticed. She elbowed him sharply in the face, shattering his skull. He collapsed.

“Please!” the last man pleaded. He had backed well away from Catra’s body now. “Someone help me here!”

Adora lunged forwards and thrust her fist straight into the bastard's face, where it literally _exploded_ into fragments of skin, bone and red mist. Adora recoiled, gasping in surprise. She raised her fist, finding the knuckles stained red, then peered around at the other two dead bodies, lives that she’d ended with her bare hands. Just like the guy in the alley… he’d been so fragile, too. It was like they were all made of glass. 

Lightning flashed again, reflecting from the crimson slick on Adora’s calloused, trembling fingers, and across the silver plate that adorned her wrists, chest and thighs. “I’m... She-Ra?”

The pieces finally clicked into place. Adora understood who she was. _What_ she was. She ran her gaze up and down her form, finding it fully healed, and covered in black, crimson and platinum armour.

A loud boom cracked overhead, and thunder rolled through the clouds. Adora didn’t have time to think about how or why she had this power without the sword. All that mattered to her was the small, soft form just a couple of footsteps away, which she dove towards, falling to her knees. Her heart crumpled at the sight of Catra, her body motionless, her fur drenched, her eyes closed.

Adora scooped up her fragile form, and gently cradled it, pressing Catra’s sodden cheek to her own. She tried to channel her energy into Catra, tried to heal her, but it didn’t work. Catra’s wounds were grave, and she’d been dead for at least five minutes now. Adora knew she had lost her, for good.

 _It’s all their fault_ , Adora thought, sobbing loudly. Anguish tore through her, and seething anger broiled in the pit of her stomach.

“Kill her!” one of the soldiers shouted.

Adora grit her teeth, stood up, and cradled Catra in her arms. Her breaths were ragged; shaking with cold fury, trembling between sobs of despair, and her pulse was ringing loudly in her ears. All she wanted was for Catra to be alive, and to live a long, happy life with her. But that had been cruelly taken away from her. So what now? What was left, except revenge?

“Kill me?” Adora asked, chuckling quietly to herself. She scooped Catra into the crook of one of her arms, held the other out and manifested all of her torment, all of her anguish, into a single, bladed weapon; a silver scythe, with a red jewel in the base of the blade, and intricate patterns all the way down the blackened shaft. “You’re all already dead.”

As soon as the soldiers were close enough, Adora slashed her blade in a wide, horizontal arc, neatly removing their heads from their torsos, or splitting their chest in two if they were taller. There had been six of them by her count, and she smiled at the sight of several heads rolling across the floor a few times, before they came to a stop.

One of the helmed faces came to rest by her boot, and she couldn’t help but kick it, sending it flying into another soldier’s head with a loud _crack_ , causing them to collapse, either unconscious or dead.

“Hah! Did you see that, baby?” Adora breathed the question into Catra’s ear. “I got them for you. I’ll get all of them.”

The red gem in her scythe started to shine, and glowing crimson tendrils creeped out across the floor, spreading outwards from Adora’s feet and rapidly increasing in size, until they split into pulsing, thick veins that splayed out like the roots of a tree. It swept beneath the recently dead, and dark red, semi-translucent ribbons poured from their mouths, spiralling through the air and darting towards Adora.

“Wait!” At first Adora panicked and backed away, especially when some of the essences seemed to pierce through Catra. She didn’t want Catra’s body to get anymore hurt than it already was, and when she frantically checked her over, she was grateful to find that nothing had changed. If anything, the wounds appeared smaller. Adora was sure it was her imagination.

Adora shuddered from head to toe as the last of the ethereal ribbons settled into her. She felt herself buzzing with so much energy that she could barely contain it.

More soldiers gathered around, and quickly surrounded her. Two of them opened fire, but Adora deflected the beams with one of her bracers, then tutted and shook her head before slamming the base of her scythe into the floor. Her vicious aura spread further and further, until at least fifty soldiers became ensnared. They turned rigid and seemed unable to move, unable to breathe. They clawed at their throats and their chests, and some of them even ripped their helmets off, as though it’d help them somehow.

Sharp nails pricked into Adora’s back while she watched the soldiers struggle. She watched as their bloodshot eyes almost popped out of their skulls, watched them collapse, watched their very essence flow from their gaping jaws in bright, shimmering ribbons. Adora wondered why she could see all of this now; her own wicked aura; a manifestation of her torment pulsing outwards and overwhelming everyone and everything caught in it, and their life forces; multicoloured ethereal threads, from a brilliantly bright shade of blue, to the deepest, darkest red, swimming through the air, diving right through Catra and then into her.

By the time the last thread had fused into her, Adora felt unstoppable.

She laughed, and willed her influence to spread further, until it practically covered the entire battlefield, crippling everyone and everything caught by it. Even the bots were affected. They sparked with electricity then jerked around and collapsed, until plumes of flaming, black smoke blew out of their vents.

Adora felt a weak grip, just behind her heel. “Please… st-stop...” 

“Die,” she hissed, stomping her spiked, silver-plated boot on the soldier's head, crunching his skull and brains into the grooves of the tiny mosaic tiles on the floor. She forced her aura to expand even further, until it crept up the palace walls and spread out into the forest. What was once green and lush turned to brown, brittle crackling. It seemed like everything she touched turned to dust, and that suited Adora just fine. Everyone had to die. Everything had to die.

She’d end the whole damn world.

A few remaining threads of life swirled through the air, spiraling lazily once or twice before seeping into Adora, and she sighed deeply.

“Well, looks like that’s all of them.” 

The downpour thinned to nothing but a drizzle, and then there was an eerie silence, with nothing to be heard other than the occasional quiet _hiss_ when tiny, burning sparks of ember danced through the air and met rain, becoming wet ash.

“A-Adora…”

Adora’s heart almost stopped at the sound. She felt Catra’s form wriggle in her arms, and she was so shocked that she lost all of the strength in her legs, collapsing onto her knees. She sharply reined in her terrible, dark aura, dematerialised her weapon, then gently cradled Catra in her arms, surprised to find that her wounds were completely healed.

“Catra!?”

Adora thought she must be losing her mind. But when Catra’s eyes slowly cracked open, and she smiled weakly, Adora decided she didn’t even care if this was real or not. Thin streams of sunlight beamed down through a clearing in the clouds, basking Adora in warmth, and Catra was practically glowing beneath the golden beams of light.

“Hey, Adora...” she croaked, her gold and blue eyes sparkling as brightly as ever. She reached a hand up, and brushed a few sweat-matted strands of hair behind Adora’s ear.

“ _How?!_ ” Adora burst into overwhelmed, confused, and happy tears. She pulled Catra against her chest, but was careful not to squeeze too tightly now that she knew who and what she was. Catra looped her arms around her shoulders, squeezed her tightly, and then they both sobbed openly in one another's arms. 

It felt real. It felt so, so real, and Adora was afraid to let go, just in case it wasn’t. 

“I… I thought I died…” whispered Catra. 

“You did.” Adora sniffed, and reluctantly pulled away. “I can’t believe you’re here. I think I might be losing my mind.”

Catra wrinkled her nose, and wiped her tears from her eyes. “Pfft. Why don’t you kiss me? I’ll prove I’m real.”

Adora leaned down, pressing her lips to Catra’s in a soft, and at first curious, kiss. She tasted like Catra, and kissed like Catra. And when sudden, sharp fangs dug into Adora’s lip, hard enough to draw blood, she groaned in ecstasy. It was _real_. Catra was back, somehow. She was alive, and kissing her, and rolling her tongue around hers, and Adora couldn’t help the happy, quiet whimpers that escaped her throat. 

“You’re real,” Adora sobbed, holding Catra closely, rubbing a palm up and down her back, feeling the warmth radiating from her.

“mmHmm,” Catra mumbled against her ear. She began to purr, and Adora closed her eyes, shutting everything else out just to listen to that soothing sound. Eventually, Adora pulled away, and stroked Catra’s cheek, watching her curious gaze scan over her. Her purr suddenly stopped, and Adora panicked.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re She Ra, even without the sword.” Catra frowned. “That actually… explains a lot.”

“Oh.” Adora blinked a few times. “I almost forgot. Oh...” Stark realisation plunged into Adora, like a cold dagger in her gut. “Oh no…” She tore her gaze away from Catra’s beautiful eyes and looked around, finding nothing but death and destruction across the entire courtyard. Countless soldiers were dead by her hand, with their corpses strewn all over the floor. “No no no…” Adora feared that Catra would realise what she’d done any minute, and then she’d be repulsed.

Catra followed her gaze, then removed her arms from Adora’s neck, and stood up, her tail slowly waving to and fro as she scanned the carnage. “Wow…” She turned to face Adora, and arched an eyebrow. “You did all this?”

Adora hung her head in shame, and nodded. “I’m sorry… They killed you. And I… I completely lost it.”

“And Hordak?”

“Still alive. I think. I don’t know how far my…” Adora sighed and shook her head. She didn’t even know what she’d done out there, never mind how to explain it.

“How far your weird red thing went?”

Adora gasped. “How did you-”

“I saw most of it.” Catra’s ears twitched. “I felt kind of… connected to you, just before I woke up. I even felt you eat them.” She jerked her thumb back over her shoulder nonchalantly. “Pretty sure I ate some of them too, hence, you know… being alive and all.” 

“So that’s what happened,” Adora gasped. “I don’t even know how I did it.” She frowned, and shook her head. “But I’m pretty sure I didn’t _eat_ anyone, Catra.”

“Hah, whatever. You drained them or something.” Catra returned to Adora, sat sideways on her lap, and looped her arms around her neck. “Does it matter?” she practically sang the words, and pressed a finger to Adora’s nose. “You’re unstoppable.” She narrowed her eyes, and smirked. “ _We’re_ unstoppable.”

Adora swallowed a thick lump in her throat. “But…”

“Hey, snap out of it. We’re alive,” Catra smiled, then leaned up, and nuzzled the side of her lips against Adora’s cheek, bursting into another soft purr. “Do you really care about anything else?” It was the first time she’d scented Adora in a long, long time, and Adora practically melted at the gesture. “Because I don’t.”

“I guess not. Not anymore.” Adora frowned, surprised at her own admission. She’d been more bothered about Catra’s reaction to her actions, rather than the actions themselves. “I was actually going to ask if you were frightened of me. Of She-Ra, I mean.”

“Hah, no,” Catra said, smirking. “It’s… you. Not some shitty sword thing. You look like you. You smell like you. And there are probably worse fates than having an insanely powerful, beautiful goddess for a girlfriend.”

Adora’s chest hurt in the best possible way, and tears streamed down her cheeks. “I can’t believe you’re okay with all this,” she sniffed, smiling so widely that her jaw ached.

“More than,” Catra nuzzled the other side of Adora’s cheek, and whispered into her ear. “But I’d be even more okay if we were kissing right now.”

Adora gently pressed her mouth against Catra’s with a happy sigh, enjoying the soft, gentle movements of her lips, and the light tease of her tongue. It was hard to believe that minutes ago she’d completely lost herself, killing everyone in sight on some kind of rage-fueled warpath. Adora knew that she should feel devastated, or at the very least sorry, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Not when Catra was here, so warm, so _alive_ , and kissing her like this.

“I love you...” Adora whispered.

“Mmm.” Catra’s purrs only grew louder. “I love you too. And you look badass, by the way.”

“I do?”

“Yeah!” Catra leaned back, with her eyebrows raised. “You mean you haven’t looked!?”

“Not properly…” Adora felt around her face, finding a crown there, which she removed. “Hey, it looks a bit like yours,” she said, twirling it in her hands. The inner part was definitely shaped like Catra’s helmet, but then the metal stretched around the edges into silver, ornate bat-like wings either side. 

“Yeah, it does. And look at this.” Catra reached behind her, and pulled a section of her hair forwards. It shone bright gold, just like before, but now the last two inches blended into a shimmering orange, and ended at the tips with a streak of glowing crimson.

Adora pulled more strands forwards. “Wow. It’s so pretty…”

“I like these too,” Catra said, shifting off Adora’s lap and tapping her knuckles on a segmented, silver plate that lined the front of one of her boots. The armour plating stretched all the way up to her knees, where the final piece extended into a short, curved spike. 

Adora stood up and checked over everything else. She had platinum bracelets on each forearm, silver armour across her shoulders, chest and thighs, and beneath all of it there was an almost-black bodysuit from head to toe. She twisted around to find three black, crimson-lined tails that billowed behind her, spreading from her waistline to the back of her knees.

Catra folded her arms, and hummed in approval. “You look really fucking cool.”

“Thanks!” Grinned Adora. She flexed her right arm. “I think I’m stronger than before, too...”

Catra placed a hand over the bulging bicep, and bit her lower lip. “Yup. That’s… uh, definitely something.”

“It’s _something_?” Adora smirked at the sight of Catra’s dilated pupils. She held her hand out, and Catra took it, then squeezed her fingers.

“mmmHmm,” Catra said. She tugged Adora’s hand forwards. “Come on. Let’s finish this so we can…” Catra coughed. “Try out that new body of yours.”

“Um, okay...” Adora felt heat rush to her cheeks, and she made her way to the north exit alongside Catra, stepping around bodies along the way.

“By the way,” Catra stretched out the claws on her free hand. “You’d better save some for me.”

“Wait.” Adora paused in her tracks, a sudden idea springing to mind. “Can I try something on you?”

“What, a sex thing?” Catra frowned. “Right now?”

“Haha! No,” Adora chuckled, and shook her head. “I’m gonna power you up. I don’t want them hurting you is all.”

“Wait, you can do that?”

“I think so.”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Not filling me with confidence here, Adora.”

Adora pouted. “Just trust me.”

“You’d better not turn me into a fucking rainbow cat.”

Adora snorted out a laugh at that. “Just stand still.” She placed her hands on the sides of Catra’s arms, focused on the feeling of her newfound magic and channeled it into her. And straight away, Catra began to change. Her entire body glowed and grew to almost twice the size, her mane stretched down to her thighs, her fur became thicker, and darker, apart from her stripes which now glowed bright red. Her outfit grew with her, and changed slightly. A single, black glove ran from her shoulder and all the way down one arm, and her vest was now split in two, with a small diamond-shaped cutout in the middle, where a few tufts of fur protruded.

“Haha!” Catra laughed excitedly as she spread her arms wide and stretched out her massive, black claws. She opened her eyes, and they were glowing; one was amber, the other crimson. “This feels amazing!” Catra gasped, grinning from ear to ear. She jumped around on the spot a few times, bouncing higher and higher as though testing her newfound agility. “Adora, look at me! I’m huge!”

Adora felt as though her heart might burst. “So, you like it?” She asked, feeling herself caught up in Catra’s excitement. 

Catra chuckled, and placed a hand on Adora’s cheek, then spoke quickly, as though she was barely able to control her newfound energy. “Is this what it feels like?” she asked, cricking her neck. “Your power, I mean. You really _do_ look great, by the way. I can’t believe you’re She-Ra. Am I She-Ra too?” Catra gasped, and her eyes turned wide. “Oh! Are we _both_ She-Ra?”

Adora smiled, happy to just watch and listen as Catra babbled away. But then, she noticed her own reflection in Catra’s wide, glistening eyes. Her hair looked as though it was on fire as it swirled around behind her, and her eyes were bright crimson, shining brightly.

 _What are you?_ The man from the alley had asked. And now, Adora knew the answer. She was vengeance.

“Adora, why aren’t you talking?” asked Catra, dancing around in front of her. “Do I look as scary and awesome as you? Can you believe they killed us? Are we gonna kick their asses?”

Adora couldn’t help herself. She dove forwards and caught Catra’s lips in a deep, hungry kiss, a kiss that Catra was all too eager to return. And it was different, kissing her like this. Everything was bigger; her lips, her teeth, and her tongue. Adora was soon lost in the sensation, becoming more and more aroused, especially when a low growl rumbled into her mouth from Catra’s throat.

She reluctantly, breathlessly pulled away from the kiss, before they both got carried away. “Yes, this is what it feels like.” she gasped, panting hotly against Catra’s lips. “And yes, you look awesome.” She kissed Catra again, but quickly, this time. “And yes, we’re going to kick their asses.”

“Good.” Catra’s lips stretched into a wicked grin, and her pupils narrowed to slits. “And by kick their asses, you mean _kill_ them, right?”

“Pretty much,” Adora shrugged. Catra may be alive, but that didn’t mean everything was forgiven and forgotten. The horde had a debt to pay, and they’d pay it with their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the art, [JustPigeonBlue...](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue/status/1327366102666633216) ily <3


	15. Happy Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Catra**

Catra had never felt so _alive_.

And she’d never felt so connected to Adora, either. Maybe it was the strange experience she’d had earlier, when she’d watched chaos unfold through Adora’s eyes while slowly rousing from consciousness. She’d felt everything that was inside Adora’s heart; all her pain, anguish, loss and torment. It had been devastatingly beautiful, especially when she knew it was all for her. 

“You seem happy...” Adora squeezed her hand and smiled.

“Mmm. More than,” Catra purred. Knowing that Adora would literally end the world for her filled Catra with a sense of pride and self-worth beyond anything she’d ever known before. Now that she knew she meant _that_ much to Adora, she hadn’t been able to wipe the smile from her face.

“Is it the thought of killing them?” Adora asked, tilting her head towards the horde camp they were headed towards.

“I mean that’s exciting and all,” Catra drawled, pulling Adora’s hand sharply, making her turn to face her. “But I’m mainly looking forward to the afterparty.” She trailed her nails across Adora’s cheek, and was delighted at the visible shudder she saw in response.

In truth, Catra had never felt quite so turned on, and she could smell that it was the same for Adora, too. She didn’t know if it was from She-Ra’s powers, coursing through her, or the fact she now knew for sure just how much she meant to Adora. Just like Adora was her whole world, she was hers, and Catra wanted nothing more than to spend day after day celebrating the fact in the best, and most carnal of ways.

Adora grabbed Catra’s teasing fingers, and kissed the pads of each. “Then let’s make this quick.” 

\--

Hordak had been busy, apparently. A space had been cleared in the forest big enough to fit half a dozen large tents. There were four full squadrons of soldiers sparring in the middle of the clearing, and at least twelve of the bigger, deadlier bots, split into six along each side.

Catra watched Adora lace her fingers together and stretch her hands out in front, cracking her knuckles. “Shall we?”

“Yes, we shall. Oh, and,” Catra sniffed the air, “Hordak’s in the furthest tent.”

“Ooh!” Adora grinned excitedly. “Has your sense of smell improved?”

Catra narrowed her eyes. “Among other things.”

Adora bit her lip into a knowing smile, and her cheeks flushed red. In the meantime, a few soldiers had noticed their presence, and were already headed their way.

“I’ll race you,” Adora said, crouching down. Catra almost forgot how to breathe, watching in awe as Adora sprung forwards, and the three crimson and black tails of her cloak flapped around behind. She was moving so quickly even Catra’s keen eyes could barely keep track.

“Hey, wait for me!” Catra grinned and burst into a sprint, at first almost tripping over her own feet because of how much longer her legs were now. She got used to her new shape a few seconds later, and then she whooped ecstatically, running faster than she’d ever thought possible. Faster than Adora, even. She caught up to her in seconds, and grinned widely. “Hey Adora!” she yelled.

“Get the bots first!” Adora shouted, “I’ll take the left side.”

Catra gave a cheeky thumbs up, then dashed to the right flank, leaping into the air and ripping straight through the plating of her first unfortunate target, tearing the whole thing clean in half. She stared down at her claws, wondering how the hell she’d done that, then paused before jumping to the next bot, watching as Adora shifted her Scythe into a spear mid-air and then thrust it straight through her own target. She then hoisted the snared machine into the air, spun around in a wide circle and flung it straight at the first squadron of surprised Horde soldiers, where it crashed into some of them and then rolled over the rest.

“haha! “ Catra laughed at the absurdity of it. The soldiers fell over like pins in a bowling alley, apart from the fact that these pins left a bloody trail behind. And then Adora was in the air again, swiftly taking down a second, then third bot. Catra felt like she could quite happily watch this all day, very much enjoying the creative side of Adora’s carnage.

Suddenly a hot beam burned into her shoulder, but it was no worse than a bee sting. Catra hissed in outrage, then dove on the bot in question, plunging her rigid fingers and nails straight into the chassis and disabling the core. She then roared loudly and dove on the remaining four bots in quick succession, slicing through each one of them as though they were shielded by sheets of paper. Then she glanced across the field, noticing Adora had only just gotten to her sixth, and final bot.

“Hah! I won!” Catra yelled. She blew a kiss, but then burst into laughter at Adora’s outraged expression. 

What she wasn’t expecting was for Adora to leap into the air and land in the middle of the second squadron of red-uniformed soldiers, shift her spear back into a scythe and swirl it in a few vicious circles, taking them all out with ease.

“Nice,” Catra yelled, wondering how to even the score. She remembered she’d sliced her sixth bot neatly in two, horizontally, and grinned at a sudden, stupid idea. “Adora! Watch this!” She yelled, lifting up the top half of the wrecked robot as though it were weightless, then tossing it like a frisbee at the third group of soldiers. It took at least two of their heads clean off then crushed the rest of them, and Catra felt her heart warm when Adora laughed at her little display of affection.

Unfortunately Catra’s attack had missed a few of her victims, so she dove into the field, ripping, tearing, snarling. She paused with her hands deeply wedged into the final soldier’s chest, noticing that Adora was standing right next to her. She ripped her claws out of the cavity, stood up and shook the blood from her fingers. “Hey. What’s up?”

“They’re running away.” Adora frowned. “Should we stop them?”

Catra peered ahead, and sure enough the fourth squadron were backing away from them very, very slowly as though trying not to draw attention to the fact. “It’s best not to leave any loose ends, Adora. We probably killed some of their friends out here."

“True.” Adora took a few steps towards the final battalion of troops, and the second they turned to run she laughed and swept her scythe in a horizontal arc, projecting a massive, wide crimson beam across the battlefield that decapitated almost all but one of them. He just stood there, whimpering to himself in the middle of the field. Adora stepped over, put her hand on his head, and closed her eyes. A few seconds later he fell to the ground, lifeless.

“Hm. Needed a top up?” Catra asked, folding her arms.

Adora smirked. “Not really.”

Catra nudged her toes into the body a few times. “So, you drained him just because?”

“Yeah.” Adora phased her weapon away. “Does that bother you?”

“So long as you’re on my side, I couldn’t give a shit.”

Adora laughed at that. She stepped over the dead body, and pulled Catra into her arms for a long, deep kiss. “On your side?” she chuckled. “That’s a bit of an understatement, isn’t it?”

“I suppose.” Catra burst into a loud purr. “Aren’t you going to eat the others?”

“Please stop calling it that.”

“That’s what it felt like to me. Quick, or they’ll go stale.”

“Will it make you happy if I... “ Adora rolled her eyes, “ _eat_ them?”

Catra very much wanted to see the spectacle again, this time through her own eyes. She dug her claws into Adora’s forearms, and grinned widely. “Do it!”

Adora shook her head with a quiet chuckle, then leapt through the air and landed dead center in the field of bodies, where her form glowed more brightly. Catra saw her crimson aura spread out, slowly creeping across the ground until it enveloped the whole battlefield and all of the bodies therein. Countless wisps in all colours of the rainbow vacated their prior owners, ebbing and flowing through the air like eels in water, each one heading straight for Adora.

“Oh!” Catra noticed the aura had spread to her, now, tingling at her feet, and it was making her practically hum with energy. She could feel it rattling through her bones. She leapt next to Adora, and purred. “Fuck me, this feels good.”

Adora cracked open one eye. “I guess it’s powering you up, then.”

Catra stretched out and roared, no longer able to contain herself. “Let’s go get Hordak. I’m gonna fuck him up so bad.”

The last of the wisps flowed into Adora. She cricked her neck, then opened her brightly-glowing eyes. “Aren’t you going to kiss me first?”

“If I kiss you right now, we won’t make it to Hordak.” Catra narrowed her eyes. “Trust me on that.”

“You mean you’d make out here?” Adora arched an eyebrow. “Right now?”

Catra shrugged. “Yeah. Wouldn't you?”

“Hmm.” Adora sighed. She cupped Catra’s chin in her palm. “I would. In fact I’d fuck you anywhere you like.”

The words caused a surge of heat to pulse almost painfully between Catra’s legs. “Fuck. Adora… don’t say shit like that. I’m on edge as it is.”

“Me too,” admitted Adora. “Come on. Let’s get him.”

\--

Panicked, muffled sounds could be heard from within Hordak’s large white tent. Catra hurried in first, with Adora right behind. She found Entrapta, Glimmer and Bow within, each of them bound and gagged. Their wrists were fastened to the central pole of the tent, their feet were bound together, and all three of them stared up at Catra, wide eyed, as though terrified.

“Aww. What’s with those looks?” Catra leaned down to slice open their ropes, one after the other. “And where’s Hordak?”

“Ah!” Entrapta scattered away and held her pigtails in front of her face. “Please don’t kill me!”

“Entrapta.” Adora narrowed her eyes. “Did you help him?”

“N-no!” she said, slowly lowering her purple hair, revealing her face. “Quite the opposite! Hordak got incredibly angry when he found out I’d applied electrical dampeners to almost every bot, not to mention-”

“Shh,” Catra said, leaning down and placing a finger on her lips. “We’re not going to kill you.”

“We’re not?” Adora asked, tilting her head.

“No, because she’s going to be useful.”

“Me?” Entrapta asked. “What do you need me for?”

“For now, you can disable any remaining bots in the palace,” said Catra, standing to her feet and stretching. “And then you can go back to Dryl. We’ll be in touch.”

“Affirmative!” Entrapta saluted with her pigtail before grabbing a gizmo from the table and madly scurrying out of the tent, which just left the four of them.

“What was that all about?” asked Adora.

“Oh, just a backup plan I’m cooking up. Doesn’t hurt to have talented people.”

“Huh?”

Catra turned around, and pecked her cheek. “Don’t worry your pretty red eyes about it.” She fully intended to tell Adora all about her plan, but later. For now, they had a rat to catch. 

Glimmer stood shakily to her feet, with Bow’s help. “You…”

“What’s up, Sparkles?” Catra asked, grinning widely. “Not happy to see us?”

“Y-you,” Glimmer stuttered, her eyes frantically darting between them. “You killed _everyone_.”

“What!?” Catra felt taken aback. “We killed the Horde. You should be happy.”

“We saw it all,” Glimmer said, stabbing a finger towards the three wide monitors mounted on a tall metal pole at the far side of the tent. One screen showed the inner palace, one showed the courtyard, and the last showed Hordak’s camp. “Adora, how could you!?”

Adora blinked a few times. “Huh?”

“What happened to only killing if you _had_ to?” Glimmer sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “And there were Brightmoon guards out there, too!”

“Oh…” Adora chewed the inside of her cheek. “Sorry.” 

“War is hell, Sparkles.” Catra shrugged. “Just be thankful it’s over, and this time, for good.”

“You’ll both be banished for this.” Glimmer scowled. “I… I can’t even look at you,” she muttered, shoving past Adora, and stumbling out of the tent, clearly sobbing. Bow remained silent. He rubbed his wrists, peered around nervously, then headed after Glimmer.

Adora grabbed his wrist, and he yelped. “Bow. Wait.”

“Don’t hurt me,” he squeaked.

“Oh for-” Adora placed her free palm on her face. “Just tell us where Hordak went.”

“He… he left in a hurry once you both… well… started killing everyone.” Bow’s voice trailed off at the end.

Adora must have loosened her grip, because Bow scarpered away without another word.

Catra smirked at Adora. “That chicken shit. He’ll be headed back to the Fright Zone.” She lunged forwards, stretching out her calves. “I’ll catch him.”

Adora placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her quickly. “Save some for me, baby.”

“I’ll try. Don’t be long.”

\--

It was liberating, running in this new, stronger, faster body. Catra sailed through the treetops of the forest, dashing from branch to branch, moving so quickly that everything swept by in a flurry of green, gold and auburn. Catra wasn’t even close to being out of breath. Within minutes she burst out of the forest and into the plains, where she spotted a skiff sailing away a couple of miles in the distance.

“Hi Hordak,” she grinned. The moment she landed on the barren ground, Catra shifted to all fours and propelled herself forwards faster than ever, her heart pounding in her chest at the thrill of the hunt. Her mane whipped behind her, and the wind whistled in her ears, mingling with the sound of the growl she hadn’t even realised she was making.

_He’s gonna pay he’s gonna pay he’s gonna pay..._

Catra was giddy with murderous desire. She caught up to the skiff in no time and dove into the air, latching on the back of the vehicle with her claws. Hordak noticed, of course, and turned around, pointing his arm cannon straight at her and firing a wide beam. Catra dodged it from instinct alone, not that she had to, not when she was practically invincible. 

“Hey Hordak!” she roared. She dove forwards, grabbing Hordak’s throat tightly with one hand, while jamming the skiff’s gear into a neutral position, forcing it to slow and eventually come to a stop. “Where ya going?”

Hordak croaked, and clawed at her hand. 

“Sorry, what’s that?” Catra loosened her grip, just a touch.

“How dare you!” I will destroy you both- ack!”

Catra tightened her grip, and laughed. “I don’t think you’re in the position to be making threats.” she loosened her grip once more. “Try again.”

Hordak gasped for air. “Don’t… kill me.”

“Ask _nicely_.” Catra dug her thumbnail against his windpipe.

“Please. I… there is so much I need to do.”

Catra yawned. “Is that so.” then she pricked her ears up excitedly, spotting another skiff in the distance. “Oh, looks like we have company! I wonder who it is.”

Hordak visibly trembled beneath her. “Don’t let her kill me. Please!”

Catra leapt from the skiff while carrying Hordak by the throat, ignoring his desperate chokes. Then she dragged him along the ground behind her, and waited patiently for the approaching skiff. “Oh, whoops, sorry,” she said, realising she’d kept her grip a little too tight for a little too long. She released her hold on Hordak completely, relieved to see he was still alive, for now. He tried to crawl away while massaging out his windpipe and gulping for air, and Catra decided to leave him to it, content to enjoy the show.

A few moments later the second skiff pulled up, and Adora hopped from it, grinning widely. “You found him!”

“Pfft, of course.” Catra stomped a foot on the base of Hordak’s spine, pinning him to the ground. “Do I get a reward?”

Adora swept forwards, catching Catra’s lips in a rough, sweet kiss which she couldn’t help but growl into, especially once she felt Adora’s tongue tease against hers. “How’s that?”

“It’ll do…” Catra stepped off of Hordak. “For now.” She knelt down, flipped Hordak over, dragged his shoulders onto her lap and stabbed her claws above his chest, pinning him in place and causing him to cry out in pain. “See? I even left you some.”

“Please! Stop this!”

Adora laughed. “He’s actually begging? Wow.” She crouched down, and smiled ever so sweetly. “Aww. It’s kind of cute.”

“Fuck you!” Hordak spat.

“And there’s the Hordak we know and love.” Catra rolled her eyes. “Come on Adora. We’ve got other stuff to be doing, remember?” 

“Mmm, true,” Adora purred. She placed a finger below Hordak’s chin, forcing his red gaze to meet hers. “Any last words?”

“I hope you both suffer a long, miserable-” 

Adora clamped her hand over his mouth, and then grinned at Catra. “I want you to do it.”

“Me? Why?”

“You put up with way more shit in the Horde than I did. I just wanted to watch, that’s all.”

“Hah, okay!” Catra felt her heart swell at the kind gesture. She leaned down and placed her lips against Hordak’s ear. “Hear that, Hordak? You’re all mine, after all.” 

\--

Catra took her time and focused on the task at hand, temporarily shutting out her burning desire to be doing other, far more intimate things with Adora.

She sliced singular, deep cuts into her victim, one after the other, savouring the guttural screams that she drew out of Hordak with each and every incision. She found that the more slowly she cut, the louder he screamed.

“You’re doing great, baby.” Adora sighed. She was sitting cross legged, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin in her palm, watching Catra’s theatrics with a wide, satisfied smile. “Do his thigh next.”

“Anything for you, love.” Catra inflicted her her hundredth cut, this time cutting deep enough to slice the main artery across Hordak’s right thigh. “Whoops.”

One hundred cuts. Catra had counted them all, and each and every one was a form of revenge for all those times those bastards had hurt her, strangled her, beat her. It wasn’t even close to the years of torment Catra had suffered but it would have to suffice, because she had other, far more important needs to take care of. 

“N-no…” Hordak whispered, his eyes beginning to glaze over.

The two of them stood to their feet, and watched Hordak’s final, ragged breaths, until his eyes became dull and his chest stilled.

“Bye, Hordak.” Catra kicked his waist. “You won’t be missed.”

\--

“Did that help?” asked Adora, placing an arm around Catra’s shoulder.

“Hmm. Yeah. It was cathartic.” Catra stretched out, and turned to face Adora. She looped her arms lazily around her neck. “But I’ve been horny as shit ever since you transformed me. I don’t think I can wait much longer, to be honest.”

“Then let’s fuck,” Adora breathed, narrowing her eyes, “right next to that bastard’s corpse.”

Catra growled and lunged forwards, crashing her lips desperately against Adora’s. There was no need to hold back anymore. They’d taken care of any threat to them, and they were practically invincible. Catra pushed at Adora’s shoulders, the two of them almost stumbling over Hordak’s corpse, before she pinned her against his skiff, lacing their fingers together.

“I need you to fuck me, Adora,” Catra growled, feeling her leggings become soaked. “Harder than ever. Got it?”

Adora groaned in response. She closed her eyes as though concentrating, and then her whole form glowed. Moments later, she was naked from her waist down and wearing a very large, silver and black dildo within a snug harness. “With this?” She asked, grinning.

“You read my fucking mind.” Catra didn’t waste any time wondering how the hell Adora had done that. She practically ripped her own leggings and underwear off, before surging forwards for another long, hungry kiss. Adora grabbed her hips and roughly reversed their positions, slamming Catra’s back against the skiff. “Get in me, already!” Catra hissed, rubbing her clit against the shaft of Adora’s new toy.

“You’re so fucking hot right now,” Adora growled, grabbing both of Catra’s thighs and hoisting her up, keeping her pinned against the skiff. “Shit. I could fuck you all day.”

Catra felt the tip of the toy press against her entrance, and she eagerly thrust her hips forwards, barely managing to get an inch inside of her. “Adora, stop teas- Fuck!” Adora dove forwards and Catra’s words died in her throat, replaced by a long, hoarse yowl. Adora was inside at last, buried deeply, stretching Catra out completely, and it felt so good that she almost cried. “Yes!” Catra roared, jutting her hips forwards. “Fuck me! Come on, Adora!”

Adora grabbed one of Catra’s hands and pushed it against the skiff, entwining their fingers, ramming her hips, and Catra felt her slick pussy get stretched out, over and over, while the skiff buckled and creaked noisily at the ferocity of their movements. “F-Fuck, Catra...” Adora gasped in broken words, panting hotly against her ear.

“You feel so good, love.” Catra groaned, threading her hands into Adora’s fiery hair, scraping her nails down her scalp. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Oh fuck, please… don’t…”

“It’s in me too,” Adora gasped, whimpering with each thrust. “It’s… I made it work both ways… I… fuck!”

Knowing that the toy was inside Adora, and that every single movement was causing her to fuck herself at the same time as Catra, sent Catra hurtling over the edge. “FUCK!” She yelled, snapping her head back, throwing her legs around Adora’s waist and clamping her tightly against her. “Oh, fuck! I’m coming, so hard, A-Adora!”

The orgasm that rippled through Catra was so intense that she was barely even aware of the fact that Adora had fallen to her knees and flopped onto her back. But she heard Adora’s desperate groans, felt Adora tense beneath her, heard her calling out her name, again and again, bucking her hips upwards, clenching Catra’s thighs tightly. And then Catra was coming all over again, this time while riding Adora’s hips, pinning her hands to the ground, and biting sharply into her neck.

“Catra! Oh fuck!” Adora screamed her name again, and Catra felt her fingers clamp tightly into her buttocks, felt each hot, desperate thrust slam into her. “I love you… I love you... “

“I love you too,” Catra panted, eagerly grinding down against Adora, feeling a third orgasm quickly build up. “I’m gonna come again, Adora…” Catra whimpered, speeding up the movements of her hips, squeezing her eyes closed. “Come with me. Please!”

“Ah-Catra!” Adora gasped, arching her back, grabbing Catra’s waist and tugging her whole body down to meet her rapid thrusts. “Fuck! I’m coming!”

Catra was a whimpering mess. She fell forwards, resting her lips on Adora’s cheeks and choking out a happy sob as a third, massive orgasm rippled through her. 

\--

“Mmmfuuuck…” Catra mumbled against Adora’s sweat-stained cheek. “That was… amazing…”

Adora stroked a hand down her back, and along her tail. “Understatement,” she chuckled. “I came three times.”

“Same…” Catra mumbled, still feeling a little hazy. “Maybe four. Not sure.”

“Do you… do you want to try it out?” Adora asked. Catra leaned up onto her forearms, and chuckled. 

“Fuck yes!” She pointed excitedly to Adora’s groin, then hers. “Swap it around.”

\--

Some time later, they were both back down to their usual, non-gigantic sizes, and were heading back to the palace to pick up their belongings. Adora hadn’t said a word ever since they’d left Hordak’s camp, and Catra was beginning to worry.

“Hey. You okay?” She squeezed Adora’s hand tightly, and tugged her arm, making them come to a stop just outside of the palace walls.

“It’s just… it’s a lot.” Adora sighed. “Everything was so different when I was She-Ra. I didn’t really care about anything. But now…”

Catra felt her heart sink. Adora would always be Adora, after all. “We did what we had to do, okay?”

“I guess.” Adora’s shoulder slumped. “But I’m fairly sure I’ve lost my best friends, not to mention the fact we’re about to be exiled...”

“Things will get better. Just give it time, love.” Catra bumped her forehead affectionately against Adora’s, and was rewarded with a small smile.

“I… I like that.”

“Hmm?” Catra pricked up her left ear. “Like what?”

“You, calling me love.”

“Hah! Didn’t even realise I was doing it,” said Catra. Of course, now that she knew Adora liked it, she’d be sure to say it as much as possible. “So, _love_.” Catra smirked at the tiny giggle from Adora. “Don’t you want to hear my master plan?”

“I’m all ears.”

\--

They walked across the broken and fractured tiles of the Brightmoon courtyard, being careful not to trip over the countless bodies, while Catra explained her idea; partly as a form of distraction from their grim surroundings, and partly because she desperately wanted to give Adora something to look forward to.

“So. I did some digging a while back,” Catra said, kicking an empty helmet out of the way. “And there’s a chick in the Crimson Wastes, recruiting mercenaries.”

They just needed somewhere to belong. A way for them to carry on living, but this time doing things their way. Like Glimmer had said, they’d both surely be banished for their actions. In fact, they’d never be welcome in any kingdom ever again.

“I... “ Adora grimaced as she hopped over a weirdly-contorted corpse. “I don’t want to kill for money, Catra. Or work for anyone else, for that matter.”

“Yeah I know.” Catra grinned toothily. “Which is why we’ll take over the place instead. Nobody can really stop us, Adora. Not now.”

“Hmm.” Adora frowned. “So we’d call the shots? Do things our way?”

“Yup. We could even build our own kingdom! I mean, who’s gonna stop us?”

Catra waited for a response with bated breath. It was a grand plan, for sure. But she needed a way to secure their future, without any further threat to either of them. She wasn’t sure if Adora could even die at this point, but she didn’t want to take the risk. More importantly, there was that other small problem she knew about, the one whereby Adora would surely need to kill again. Catra had felt that itch, that bloodlust, deep within Adora in the short, sweet time they’d shared consciousness.

“That’s… ambitious.”

“Lucky for us we have a super powerful goddess,” Catra said, bumping her hip against Adora’s, “as well as a master strategist, and the smartest engineer on Etheria. And that’s just for starters.”

Adora tightly squeezed her fingers, and followed her up the staircase leading to the palace. “I like the sound of it. Our own kingdom, huh...”

“We’d be Queens,” Catra chuckled. “We’d even have thrones.”

“But next to each other, right?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “No, at opposite ends of the room, dumbass.”

Adora hummed to herself, and then sped up her pace, eagerly hopping up the stairs. “Well, we’d best get a move on! There’s so much to do!”

“So you’re in?” Catra pricked her ears up.

“I’m in. Oh, and Catra…”

“Hmm?”

Adora paused at the top of the stairs, then rested her hands on Catra's cheeks, softly stroking them. Her brilliant blue eyes were full of nothing but the softest, warmest love. “You’re my everything, too. My whole world.”

“Adora...” Catra felt heat rise to her cheeks and couldn’t help but purr, loudly, while nuzzling her lips against Adora’s cheeks, one after the other. “You’re _such_ an idiot.”

“I know.”

Catra sighed happily. They finally had a real, beautiful future to work towards, a place of their own to build, to forge the way they wanted. It would be somewhere they’d truly be able to call _home_. And when she felt Adora’s soft lips press to hers, Catra knew for certain that they’d both found their happy ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the crazy Catra, [JustPigeonBlue](https://twitter.com/JustPigeonBlue). <3 <3


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fan Service ;)

Not long after the Brightmoon Massacre (as it was now called), Catra and Adora were formally exiled by Queen Angella and the rest of the princess alliance, as expected. Frosta, however, was morbidly curious about the whole thing.

“So you can eat _souls_?” she asked, staring at Adora in awe.

Catra grinned. “She can. Wanna see?”

“You’ll do no such thing.” Angella scowled, pulling Frosta back by her shoulders. “Our verdict has been reached, and it is final. Please leave at once.”

Adora tried to talk to her friend, one last time. “Glimmer…”

“Just go, Adora.” Glimmer didn’t even look at her, and Adora’s heart sank at the realisation that they’d never be friends again.

“Come on, love,” Catra said, looping her arm into hers. “We don’t need them anyway.”

And so began Catra’s grand, ambitious plan…

::

Between their notoriety, Adora’s newfound powers and Catra’s cunning, the two of them took over the Crimson Wastes in less than a day. It was even easier than Catra had anticipated, but then, who could stop She-Ra?

_Nobody_ , Catra thought, smirking to herself. _That’s who._

She was very fond of the whip and jacket she’d acquired, although the so-called Tung Lashor hadn’t fared quite as well, especially not when Adora found out that he ate _babies_. She’d ripped the poor guy limb from limb, not that he hadn't deserved it, of course, and Catra had been sure to reassure Adora on this point over and over, just like she did with the Brightmoon Massacre.

\--

Shortly after taking down Tung, the two had met Huntara. She was the one that Catra had heard about, the one recruiting mercenaries.

Huntara had been all too eager to recruit them, although upon hearing what had happened to Tung, she wondered if she’d made a dire mistake. Her fears only grew when a few hours later she’d been officially demoted, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. Everyone had seen what She-Ra could do, after all.

Between Tung’s grotesque murder and the Brightmoon Massacre, word of mouth spread and the two quickly became infamous, their deeds known and feared across the seven kingdoms, and the Crimson Wastes.

None dared to stand up to them.

\--

“Okay, first things first - we want thrones,” Catra said, laughing at Adora’s goofy expression. “Big and fancy, right next to each other, just there,” continued Catra, pointing to the far side of the rowdy room.

“Seriously?” Huntara asked.

But she got it done, of course, just like she helped her new leaders transform the Wastes into something far more hospitable, with no small thanks to Entrapta and her weird, wonderful machines that could draw moisture from deep within the sands.

\--

In just two months the Wastes became home to a fully functioning, actually _thriving_ mercenary guild, and Huntara soon found peace with her new position. After all, having the two most powerful people on Etheria make you their third in command? That wasn’t a bad place to be. She still got some say here and there, and it turned out that Catra and Adora were actually half-decent people, so long as you were on their good side. 

She couldn’t help but quietly respect that the two of them had never really abused their power, beyond stealing the Wastes in the first place. They’d simply chosen to settle here and build a place they could call their own, instead of ruling the whole of Etheria with some kind of iron fist.

But then again, they were well on their way to ruling at least a _part_ of Etheria. They’d just kicked off plans to transform the Wastes even further, this time building a whole damn palace. The _Crimson Palace_ , they’d call it. The eighth kingdom. And they had all the resources they needed to make it a reality, too.

Huntara was actually feeling excited. She couldn’t wait to see how it all played out. 

::

While Catra and Adora had been busy improving the Crimson Wastes, the Scorpioni had returned to the Fright Zone and reclaimed it as their home, after which Catra decided it’d be a sound strategic decision to form a second alliance (their first one being Dryl). That’s the excuse she gave herself for becoming fast friends with Scorpia, and consequently having an actual friend out there - a person she cared about, other than Adora.

“Wildcat!” Scorpia ran forwards, with her pincers spread wide. “It’s so great to see you!”

“Oof. Too tight, too tight!” Catra winced as she was surrounded by the vice-like grip.

“Wow, the palace is _really_ coming along.” Scorpia gently removed her pincers. “I can’t wait to see it once it’s done!”

“Yeah.” Catra smirked. “You should see the plans for our room.”

Adora quickly slammed down the blueprints she was looking at, blew a few strands of hair from her face, and glared pointedly at Catra. “Don’t show her _everything_.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, love.”

“Oh, look at you two,” said Scorpia, raising her pincers to her cheeks. “You were just made for one another.”

“Hmm, yeah. We were.” Catra tapped her knuckles against Scorpia’s arm. “So come on, how’s things with Perfuma? I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with her.”

::

Three months after they’d taken over the Wastes, Catra and Adora decided it was time to celebrate. After all, the Crimson Palace was already half-built, and their guild - aptly named _The Reapers_ \- had just completed its thousandth contract. The guild had been taking on almost any task, ranging from petty disputes (which generally only needed a harsh word), to relocation of supplies. Assassination was also on the menu, as long as the pay was good and - more importantly - the target deserved it.

The only reason the other kingdoms hadn’t intervened in the latter was because they literally had no choice. The Wastes had She-Ra, and therefore, complete autonomy.

\--

“Hey, Huntara!” Catra shouted from her throne, her voice barely travelling over the noisy din of all the people laughing and cheering in the room. 

Huntara heard, though, and sauntered over, folding her thick arms. “Yes, boss?”

“Have we had any more _questionable_ contracts lately? Adora’s been getting fidgety again.”

“Ugh,” Huntara rolled her eyes. “Of course she has.”

“Hey!” Adora said, leaning across her throne and elbowing Catra in the ribs. “I’m right here.”

Catra knew by now that she’d been right about Adora. There was some kind of underlying rage within her, a bloodlust which Catra sometimes managed to delay with soft love or rough sex, even using her claws if it came to it - and oh, Adora _definitely_ enjoyed her claws. But she always reached a point where she needed something more than Catra could provide.

“Tell me I’m wrong, love,” Catra purred, stroking her nails along Adora’s forearm.

Eventually, Adora would need to kill. And it didn’t bother Catra in the slightest, especially not when they could make a small fortune from it. The Crimson Palace wouldn’t fund itself, after all. So she supported Adora as best she could, and since Adora was still Adora at the end of the day, Catra made sure that when it came to murder they only took on jobs that involved killing unsavoury people. Rapists, child abusers, and kiddy fiddlers to mention just a few. 

Adora glared at her wife-to-be, then allowed her lips to soften into a smile. She reached a hand out, resting it above Catra’s on the arm of her throne. “You know me so well,” she sighed, digging her black-painted fingernails across Catra’s hand, then down her forearm, enjoying how Catra’s fur stood on end. She couldn't help but lick her lips, thinking about the feel of Catra’s silky-soft fur writhing against her naked body, and the sound of her own name, spilling from those sweet, sweet lips.

“I know what you’re thinking, Adora,” chuckled Catra. She could tell by the predatory look in Adora’s eyes that it was her turn to get fucked tonight, not that they had an official rota or anything. Adora’s needs and wants shifted and changed all the time. Sometimes she needed to kill, sure. But most of the time she needed to be fucked, and just as often, to fuck. Catra didn’t care either way - she got off quite happily doing whatever the hell Adora wanted, and bit her lower lip into a smile thinking about the prospect of whatever lay in store for her tonight.

“Wow, fuck,” Huntara said, covering her eyes with her hand, “get a room already. I’ll go scan the contracts, I’m pretty sure we have a couple of nasty ones.”

Catra blew a kiss at the departing warrior. “Thanks, Huntie.”

“Told you not to call me that!” she yelled.

“Hey, Everyone,” Catra yelled, raising her mug of ale, and standing up, proudly swatting her tail around. “Here’s to us, and to our Queen,” she said, winking at Adora.

“Told you not to call me that,” Adora muttered under her breath, before standing next to her tormentor. “Here’s to us, everyone. Keep up the good work!” Adora said, grinning from ear to ear.

_Queen Adora_ did have a nice ring to it, though, especially when it was shouted in celebration from so many in the room. But really, Adora wasn’t all that interested in the thrill of power. She only wanted what she had right here, by her side. Catra, her one and only everything. Her anchor. Her love. 

Catra peered into Adora’s gentle, blue eyes, and felt her heart fill with warmth. Even after everything, the Adora she knew and loved was still there, looking at her with that soft, beautiful gaze. Unlike Adora, she _did_ enjoy their newfound power, because with it came the thrill of standing so tall that nobody could ever hurt them, ever again. But it only meant something only so long as she had Adora by her side; a life without her would be pretty meaningless, after all.

“Queen, I’ve got something,” Huntara said, waving a piece of paper around before approaching the throne. “Some bastard is stealing teenagers from Salineas. Probably sex trafficking. You’ll need to take him out and rescue the kids.”

“Sounds perfect,” Adora said, cracking her knuckles. It had been two weeks since her last kill, and Catra was right. She needed it. She didn’t really know why, didn’t understand why the itch became more and more unbearable if she tried to ignore it, but at least she could take care of it while doing some good in the world. She peered back towards Catra and arched a questioning eyebrow.

“You can enjoy this one all by yourself, love,” Catra said, grinning wickedly. “I’ll keep an eye on these idiots. Just…” Catra placed a finger beneath Adora’s chin, digging the point of her nail into her flesh. “Don’t keep me waiting _too_ long.”

Adora watched, gulping thickly, as Catra glared at her pointedly, sat back on her throne and slid a hand between her own legs, then clenched her fangs over her lower lip. 

“Did not need to see that,” Huntara muttered gruffly. She slapped the contract into Adora’s waiting hand, spun on the spot, and marched away.

Adora leaned over Catra’s throne, then kissed her hungrily. “You’d better wait for me.”

“Hmm, I’ll try,” Catra purred. “Just be back before midnight.”

… And she was.

::

Kyle, Lonnie and Rogelio survived the Brightmoon Massacre. They eventually relocated to the Crimson Wastes, along with many other ex-Horde soldiers. At first, they were all fearful, given what She-Ra had done to their comrades. But their Queens gave them a chance to prove themselves, and so that’s exactly what they did.

In fact, other than Adora, Lonnie proved to be their best hitwoman. Kyle became their top-tier dispute resolver, often helping the two parties to find an amicable solution; a compromise. And Rogelio was great at relocating goods, due to his size and strength.

::

Catra and Adora became married as soon as the Crimson Palace was built, and in doing so, they formally became the Queens of the Crimson Kingdom. And while every princess was invited to the subsequent celebration, only Entrapta, Frosta and Scorpia turned up.

“I guess she’s never going to forgive me,” Adora sighed.

“Give it time, love.” Catra purred, and took Adora’s hands in hers. “Frosta’s here, isn’t she? Sparkles and the others will come around, eventually.”

Adora smiled. “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

… And a few years later, they did, although Glimmer and Adora never became quite as close as they once were.

::

In the years that followed, the Crimson Kingdom thrived, as did its people. Catra and Adora - the Crimson Queens - both lived long and happy lives together, despite their infamy. Their blood-drenched tales soon became legend, paving the way for vigilantes of the future, and their righteous fury.

_For the Blood Queens!_

::

And even after hundreds of years their legacy _still_ lived on, in the form of myths and fairy tales, used to frighten children who misbehaved in very specific ways. 

_Remember - if you hurt someone, the Blood Queens will get you._

~ The (Not So Bad?) End ~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please feel welcome to leave comments, feedback & ideas / headcanons (so long as you don't mind them potentially being used!). 
> 
> [tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/silks-stuff) |[twitter](https://twitter.com/silktw)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Join our [she ra discord!](https://discord.gg/duZPh7N) It's very gay! (Grownups only, please)


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